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Post by anon76 on Mar 1, 2010 12:33:11 GMT
Thanks WG,
My face is blue from asking for help for her. Her current CPN is next to useless; really cold and 'Computer-says-no': A jobsworth basically.
There may be a DIY solution, where SS put money in a pot for you, and you decide how it is spent regarding help, support and care. Hopefully this'll come through, as our Mental Health Team just aren't pulling their weight.
I've got carer support, but it's all too slow at the moment. I suffer from depression myself, and have felt like ending it many times since this all began. I have no idea what's keeping it all together.
Thanks again, it's really good to know I can share this stuff without judgement.
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Post by winegirl on Mar 1, 2010 19:27:21 GMT
Hi Anon76
Im so sorry the supoprt you are getting is not adequate too. Too often with PNI the mother gets help and the mothers partner is left to get on with it, one of my many complaints.
I hope you get the funding from SS! Perhaps it may be enough for some private therapy for your other half and you? And maybe be able to get someone else to take a bit of the load off you?
Really, hats off to you. Not many can stick through relationships affected this way by the illness. It is so hard and you are doing so well to keep it all together.
If the CPN is not much cop you could always ask to change? There should be a few in your CPN office and it is your right to ask for a different one.
Anyway, we are here and listening if you need to talk pal. This will get better, hang in there x
WG xx
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sazzythom
Full member
Sufferer and Mummy to Kezia and Micah
Posts: 84
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Post by sazzythom on Mar 1, 2010 22:03:37 GMT
Hi Anon
I read ur story and i really felt compelled to write. Your story reminds me of our story so much. I was admitted into hospital not long after the birth of my daughter 2 and a half years ago. I too was having severe OCD thoughts of harming the baby and myself and because of this i refused to care for her as i was terrified i would act upon these thoughts. It took a long time but i was able to bond with my baby and left hospital. After being admitted for a second time they got social services involved and i was classed as mentally unstable to look after her and the parental responsibility was passed to my husband, parents and in laws. She was placed on the protection register and still to this day i'm not allowed to be alone with her.
What i wanted to ask is where abouts are u based?? I was placed in a specialist unit for mothers with PNI and i was wondering if there was one close enough to yourselves to maybe get your wife in there with your son so she has the support she needs to become the mum she can and will become. Its worth looking into.
Also i agree with Winegirl if u feel u are not getting the correct suppport by your CPN u can request a change. Its not that difficult. I did it after the cpn that replaced my one that went on mat leave told me that i needed to hurt myself when i got the thoughts of harming my child. Not helpfull at all.
What i was hoping to show u is that it may look like hell at the moment but it does get better with the right care. I love my daughter to bits now and have even taken the step of getting pregnant with our second. Hold on in there it will get better.
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Post by anon76 on Mar 15, 2010 15:12:49 GMT
Hi SazzyThom,
Thanks for your message. There is a very good perinatal unit near us, but it didn't work out. One of the nurses there was threatening to put pills up her bum if she didn't take them; she suffers from OCD and the idea of taking tablets to "stop the voices" (which she didn't have) scared her even more than the thought of having the voices in the first place. Because of her learning difficulties, she doesn't feel she could ever provide adequate care, and like me, got swept up in the storm following the two losses we had.
Whereas I COULD take care of our son (did a cracking job for the first 3 months until child services stuck their stupid fat oar in), she probably never would be able to, hence why he is now living with the in-laws, and like yourself, is not allowed on her own with him.
We are in the process of getting the CPN changed over, so maybe things will improve. I can't even begin to imagine which planet your former CPN was on. Good god.
It's great that you now relate to your daughter better, good on you for sticking at it, and best of luck with your second. At least you know what to do now.
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Post by winegirl on Mar 16, 2010 17:42:33 GMT
Hi Anon76
I hope the new CPN helps with more positive change for you! I would outline everything you have just said here, I woek in the services and everything you have said makes total sense to me and needs to be addressed accordingly, so cant see why it wouldnt be anyone else!
Do let us know how you guys get on, and come back and talk anytime?
Take Care
WG xx
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