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Post by winegirl on Apr 16, 2010 7:01:15 GMT
How are you doing this morning hun? Good luck for today, will be thinking of you xx
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wkmmum
Senior Member
Posts: 225
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Post by wkmmum on Apr 17, 2010 10:11:15 GMT
Went out last night and got completely drunk. Now I'm worrying about how many calories I had. Stupid I know but I can't help it.
I'm really struggling atm. Feel like I'm just about keeping things together. Really don't know what to do xx
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Post by monica on Apr 18, 2010 21:30:44 GMT
How you doing today? Hoep the weekend improved for you.
Here if you want to talkx
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wkmmum
Senior Member
Posts: 225
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Post by wkmmum on Apr 19, 2010 15:46:28 GMT
Thanks Monica.
Just kind of doing doggie paddle and keeping my head above water atm xx
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Post by monica on Apr 19, 2010 16:21:25 GMT
glad you didn't take my advice re: washing - it beautiful again. Your not alonexxx
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wkmmum
Senior Member
Posts: 225
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Post by wkmmum on Apr 20, 2010 12:24:45 GMT
Am really worried about going away tomorrow. On the one hand I'm really looking forward to it because, although I'll be working, it's a break and a chance to get away from things at home for a while.
But what's worrying me is eating. Whilst I'm sure I can get away with skipping breakfast, I don't think I'll be able to do the same with dinner tomorrow night. I've been doing a lot of thinking and have come up with a couple of ideas which will mean that I'll eat dinner but can hopefully avoid putting on weight. But neither of them are very healthy.
Saw my psychologist today. Didn't talk to him about tomorrow but we did talk a lot about about eating and self harm. He thinks we need to work on self harm and why I need to do it. As the eating is mostly about harming myself dealing with the SH issue should hopefully help with the eating. Is this making sense???
But right now I'm finding that I need to SH by not eating more and more. It's not something I want to do - I know it's not good for me. But it's something I NEED to do. And I can't see me ever not needing to SH in some form. Maybe it's been like this for too long xx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 20, 2010 19:57:21 GMT
Hi Hun
I have lots of useful info on self harm you might be interested in? It is beatable and it can never go on for too long to affect the possibilty of recovery!
I hope it all goes ok for you tomorrow... please try to think of your health with any plans you have re: the weight. It is important to your family and friends as well as yourself that you are well, please look after yourself xx
Thinking of you
WG xx
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wkmmum
Senior Member
Posts: 225
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Post by wkmmum on Apr 23, 2010 18:58:56 GMT
Sorry I haven't been around for a couple of days. What with being away and having no time on my own I haven't been able to get on here.
Going away was really good. Really interesting work-wise. But mostly it was just nice to get away from stuff for a little while. The only down side was when some idiot went into the back of the car we were in on the way to Birmingham. I now have a very sore neck!
Food-wise things are better. At least in my eyes. Basically I've eaten almost nothing for the last couple of days so I feel a lot more in control of it and less stressed about it. I know I'm gonna have to eat more than I want over the weekend but feel a lot more confident that I can get it back under control again on Monday.
WG - and info you can give me on SH would be great if you wouldn't mind xx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 24, 2010 8:24:25 GMT
pm me your email address hun and i will send the info as attachments x
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wkmmum
Senior Member
Posts: 225
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Post by wkmmum on Apr 26, 2010 12:41:29 GMT
Am so annoyed atm (trying to be polite!). Because of the MS I get tired a lot and atm the fatigue is really bad and as well my fingers starting to go numb. I spent most of yesterday asleep and I'm barely functioning. Spoke to the MS nurse today and she's pretty much told me to take some time off work before I make myself really ill. So need to make a drs appt to see if I can get signed off but do you think I can get one? So tomorrow I'm gonna take DS to school then go to the drs and make a right pain of myself as I haven't been able to get an appt there for ages. And once I've seen a dr I'm gonna change surgeries. Ok - rant over! The weekend's not been great. Not just cos of how I feel physically but cos I've had to eat more than I should. So I'm really glad that I've got time to myself today and don't have to eat. DS has a hospital appt after school today about his dairy allergy. Really hope we can get something sorted as it's so hard for him and I feel like I'm trying to deal with it in the dark. Not helped by the fact that my husband keeps giving him dairy cos he doesn't think there's a problem xx
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wkmmum
Senior Member
Posts: 225
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Post by wkmmum on Apr 26, 2010 16:37:19 GMT
Just wanted to update....
Took DS to his hosp appt earlier. They agree with me that it sounds like his dairy allergy is getting worse. He's also got to have a load of blood tests to check there's nothing else going on - poor thing. The dr also advised me to go back to the go to talk about referring him to get tested for ADHD (they will only accept referral from gp).
The problem is that my husband doesn't think DS had a dairy allergy! Yesterday he did the food shop and I asked him to get DS a little ready meal as I knew I wouldn't have time to cook after the hosp. Got back from the appt, took the meal out of the fridge, and found it had a cheese sauce!!!! I'm doing my best to keep dairy out of his diet and then my husband does things like that.
Sorry - needed to get that off my chest xx
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wkmmum
Senior Member
Posts: 225
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Post by wkmmum on Apr 27, 2010 9:19:14 GMT
Went to the drs this morning and asked for an appt. They said there weren't any. So I asked to speak to someone as it seems to be impossible to get an appt and all of a sudden I could have one at 3 o'clock! So I booked it but then went to another surgery and got the paperwork to register there.
Was talking to a couple of mums in the playground this morning and mentioned what the dr at the hospital said yesterday about getting DS tested for ADHD. One mum said she didn't believe it existed and the other went on and on about how boys are active and always on the go etc. I know that! If only they could spend 24hrs with him maybe they'd understand that it's more than that. Bur now I'm left doubting myself. Have asked his teacher to phone me later to talk it over and get a better idea what he's like at school.
Seeing psychologist in a mo. Really need to talk cos the need to SH is really strong atm and I know that by not eating and taking slimming pills etc I'm really giving my body a hard time xx
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wkmmum
Senior Member
Posts: 225
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Post by wkmmum on Apr 28, 2010 12:17:40 GMT
So much has happened since yesterday!
Saw the psychologist but chickened out and didn't tell him any of the SH stuff. Am kicking myself but it's my own fault. Will have to wait til next week now.
Also saw the dr yesterday and have been signed off for a week. As I didn't see my own GP he said to get an appt with her at the end of the week so see about being signed off for longer. Couldn't get an appt when I asked at reception so have to phone first thing friday morning. Sound familiar??? Doubt I'll have any luck when I phone so guess it'll be another trip up there once I've taken DS to school.
There's more but I'll write that on my other thread cos it's more private xx
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Post by winegirl on May 1, 2010 7:28:42 GMT
Sorry I am only just catching up hun - it sounds like you have had a massive week! How you doing today??
I will check in on your other thread shortly hun xx
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wkmmum
Senior Member
Posts: 225
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Post by wkmmum on May 6, 2010 14:39:42 GMT
So sorry I haven't been around for a while - I've been trying to sort my head out. Haven't managed it though!
I've got a new hobby......I'm collecting diagnoses!!!!! I now have anorexia to add to them. Just got back from seeing my psychiatrist. I'd moved the appt forward as my eating's getting worse and at the end of the appt I just asked her if it is an eating disorder. Without hesitation she said 'yes'. She then went through it all with me and pointed out that I more or less meet every criteria. I feel so stupid. I've had friends with anorexia in the past and honestly never thought I'd have it. I thought I knew enough to mean it'd never happen to me. Just had bloods done so will have to wait and see what they say now xx
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