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Post by Weeble on Dec 13, 2010 16:23:19 GMT
Hi
I like breast feeding but today my cpn told my husband I need to stop breastfeeding so I can have more drugs. I feel both sad and happy about this, sad because I like feeding, it's easy, I don't have to worry what I eat, the baby loves it. When I stop that is it because o is my last child. On the other stopping feeding means I can have drugs and hopefully get better, it means I can spread my time more fairly among my children. It means I can get my independence back and do things on my own, maybe even have a babysitter one night.
It's just a shame that this horrid illness and the thing that started it all the horrific birth of my second child are taking away my choice.
Kat
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Dec 13, 2010 16:58:54 GMT
Hey Personally I think any amount of time breastfeeding is something to be proud of so don't feel bad for the baby as he will be just fine on formula, he's had plenty of Mummy's milk goodness!  As for you I know what you mean... I managed 3 months and it used to get me down towards the end as I didn't really enjoy it anymore (he used to feed for hours at a time) ...but everytime I tried to stop and my milk started drying up, I'd panic and didn't want to give up the bond I felt when feeding so I would start feeding again, it went on like that for a few weeks. I think if it could help you come out of this and get better, then it's better all round for you and your family as you can get back to being 'you' a bit more which will help. Dint feel pressured into it or rush anything though Kat, if you're uncomfortable doing it at once then wean off it or if you don't want to stop at all then voice your worries as you have to be happy with the decision. Your list had alot of pro's and not too many cons though which would lead me to think you're moving towards stopping in your own mind? N xxx |
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Post by Weeble on Dec 13, 2010 20:15:45 GMT
Because my others boys are milk allergic and became Ill on ordinary formula. I agreed with my gp that we would start o on prescription milk once he needed it, so off we go back to the gps. Another disadvantage when I am at my worse and feel I need to run away, o's breastfeeding is a reason to stay.
Gave o his first bottle today as we have the milk for t. So on the road already.
Still feel sad at the passing of this time.
Kat
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Dec 13, 2010 20:28:24 GMT
Hey Hopefully when your meds are upped and you stop breastfeeding you won't feel like you want to run away but if you do, just know that your cuddles and care are just as valuable to them as your milk supply I can understand it being a bind with the prescription formula but think of it this way... O would more than likely have to go on it at some point anyway so you're just getting him ready sooner that's all. It's difficult coming off breastfeeding, it's a shock to the hormones and then to have extra meds too makes it alot for you, but you're doing it for the good of your whole family so that's a good thing! Try your hardest to turn the negatives into positives and please please please don't make yourself feel bad as you've done fantastic, it's just the next step that's all. Lotsalove N xxx |
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Post by Weeble on Dec 13, 2010 22:44:03 GMT
Thanks Nat great perspective. He took his first two ounces easily tonight, going to do two feeds tomorrow by bottle.
See how I feel later
Kat
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Dec 13, 2010 23:19:03 GMT
Ah that's great Kat! If he's took that much already I'm sure you'll be fine, but just do it as and when you're ready, don't rush yourself! Nat xxx |
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Post by gizmoracer on Dec 14, 2010 10:23:07 GMT
Kat, I just want to give you a ((huge hug)). I so understand what you mean with this. I was told to stop feeding my first after only 3 weeks because it was making us both ill, this was a big trigger to my pni but After feeding my second for 8 weeks I felt so much better and as though I had acomplished something as it was our choice to give up (I found it difficult and stressful). As you knoe being able to breastfeed Janey is of huge impotance to me but to be perfectly honest with you she is now having more formular than breastmilk anyway and she is thriving on it.
It sounds as though you are weaning him off the breast slowly? Would it help you to express while you still can ie before starting new meds and freeze some of your milk so he can feed a while longer maybe 1 feed a day or something like that? I have only physically breastfeed Janey 3 times and was expecting to feel really bad about that but the fact that she is still getting some of my milk seems more important and is whats keeping me going. I suppose ultimatly we have to stop at some point. Enjoy extra skin to skin cuddles as compensation.
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Dec 14, 2010 12:12:45 GMT
Wow what great advice gizmoracer, that sounds like a great alternative with freezing your milk while you can Kat Either way, you, he and all of your beautiful family will be fine N xxx |
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Post by Weeble on Dec 14, 2010 22:23:21 GMT
Thanks giz forgot how recently you had all the same dilemmas. Decided just to go for it as find the positives, so went out on my own today for a bit, planning times on my own with T. Trying to see it as liberating and fairer on my other .
During the day, I was positive, but felt sad with the tingly tits when I dropped a feed and doing what my psychologist says I must not do, which is ignoring the sad emotions. So going to let it sit with me for a bit.
Kat
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Dec 16, 2010 22:55:31 GMT
Hey Know what you mean with the tingly boobs, it's hard as your hormones go into overdrive when your milk comes out too which just makes it so much worse(!!), I went back and forth with feeding for a few weeks cause I hated that feeling when dropped a feed. I do remember though it seeming to go from really depressing to so relieving in the short space of time from me going from tingly tits to normal tits and you'll get past those hormone surges soon too, cause that's what it is I reckon Yeh must be sooo liberating for you! Prob just what you need Kat, some time for you, to do things for yourself and not constantly timing yourself! How is it today? N xxx |
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Post by Weeble on Dec 20, 2010 22:37:03 GMT
Sad today because milk seems to be going on own accord now. Feel very sad like my relationship with o is dying, seem to have no connection with him. It's sad but time can't stand still.
Kat
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Dec 20, 2010 23:10:23 GMT
Hey
That bond will come with time Kat, don't get yourself down about it.
Remember all the wonderful advice you've given recently, how there's so so so many more beautiful bonding experiences to come for you, like climbing into bed with you for example and how that beats the feeling of breastfeeding!
You've had a rough time but you will bond with o, and there are so so many opportunities to come to do that.
Chin up, all will come good in the end xxx
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Post by Weeble on Jan 8, 2011 21:43:14 GMT
Well my little boy had his last breastfeed tonight, can't deny I am not devastated, that's it, I feel angry that another thing has been taken from me, this illness has stopped me feeding two of my three sons and as I will never have a child again, that will never happen again. I know it's the best thing for us all and he has had breast milk for 15 weeks. But well that's it.
Kat
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Jan 8, 2011 22:12:35 GMT
Hey
I know it's sad Kat but 15 weeks is so long! You've given him a great start and personally I think breastfeeding for ages and ages is over-rated, but that's just me!
I think you've done brilliantly and you'll feel a bit blue about it for a few days because you're hormones will be all over, but then you'll feel fine again.
Honestly Kat you have done so well, in the face of all the stuff you've been dealing with too, please be proud of what you've achieved and don't let it bog you down as you've done the best thing for your family and o will be fine, absolutely fine on formula.
N xxx
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