Post by lucyloo on Jan 12, 2011 11:14:13 GMT
I am new to this forum, but I feel that I need some help. I feel very desperate at this moment.
I am 5 M pregnant (had 20k scan yesterday all is well and we are having a boy) I also have a daughter who is coming up to 3yr next month, she is very clever and is very headstrong which I am finding very difficult to cope with at the moment.
After the birth of my daughter (4 month in) I started to suffer PNA (OCD) which was awful. And only started to feel normal again this summer, that is until I fell pregnant unexpectedly, we always wanted another at some point but this wasnt planned, although it is wanted and I know is a blessing.
We are now waiting for planning permission to come thorough so we can get an extention on the house which we will need for space. This is a bit of a worry for me too.
I have been very short tempered with my husband and daugheter. And this is why I write because I loose my patience with my daughter too much lately. I feel overwhelmed alot of the time, especially the past 5 days has been very up and down.
Well he other day my daughter was playing up and I lost my temper and grabbed her arm and lifted her up and took her to her bed by one arm. Today I see a bruise about the size of my thumb on her arm. And I can only guess this was me, she is always falling and banging herself as toddlers do, but im worried must be me. I feel so bad, this is child abuse is it not? What sort of mother am I? My worst fears are coming true and I am so desperate and feel so helpless and scared that if I tell someone the they will tell me what an awful mother I am and will call social services.
I love my daughter very much and try to do my best for her. But my best is not good enough. And how will I cope with another? I wont will I!
I have smacked her once, but I don't make a habit of it and certainly don' believe in it as punishment. I have got help for my anger as I had screamed at her on several occasions when I could not take any more. (this followed on from some CBT I was taking so got extra help)
I really hate myself right now. And need to call someone for help but scared of what will happen. I am still an out patient at the hospital & I can contact my CBT therapist if I choose. I want to call my midwife as she seems very understanding but what if she isn't when I tell her this?
What can I do?? I'm scared that I will loose total control. I don't know if this is the right place to post so if not could someone point m in the right direction. Please don't think I don't love my D I do! And I want her to be happy, Im afraid I am messing her up. And that I will do the same with my unborn son.
I am 5 M pregnant (had 20k scan yesterday all is well and we are having a boy) I also have a daughter who is coming up to 3yr next month, she is very clever and is very headstrong which I am finding very difficult to cope with at the moment.
After the birth of my daughter (4 month in) I started to suffer PNA (OCD) which was awful. And only started to feel normal again this summer, that is until I fell pregnant unexpectedly, we always wanted another at some point but this wasnt planned, although it is wanted and I know is a blessing.
We are now waiting for planning permission to come thorough so we can get an extention on the house which we will need for space. This is a bit of a worry for me too.
I have been very short tempered with my husband and daugheter. And this is why I write because I loose my patience with my daughter too much lately. I feel overwhelmed alot of the time, especially the past 5 days has been very up and down.
Well he other day my daughter was playing up and I lost my temper and grabbed her arm and lifted her up and took her to her bed by one arm. Today I see a bruise about the size of my thumb on her arm. And I can only guess this was me, she is always falling and banging herself as toddlers do, but im worried must be me. I feel so bad, this is child abuse is it not? What sort of mother am I? My worst fears are coming true and I am so desperate and feel so helpless and scared that if I tell someone the they will tell me what an awful mother I am and will call social services.
I love my daughter very much and try to do my best for her. But my best is not good enough. And how will I cope with another? I wont will I!
I have smacked her once, but I don't make a habit of it and certainly don' believe in it as punishment. I have got help for my anger as I had screamed at her on several occasions when I could not take any more. (this followed on from some CBT I was taking so got extra help)
I really hate myself right now. And need to call someone for help but scared of what will happen. I am still an out patient at the hospital & I can contact my CBT therapist if I choose. I want to call my midwife as she seems very understanding but what if she isn't when I tell her this?
What can I do?? I'm scared that I will loose total control. I don't know if this is the right place to post so if not could someone point m in the right direction. Please don't think I don't love my D I do! And I want her to be happy, Im afraid I am messing her up. And that I will do the same with my unborn son.