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Post by rochelle121 on Jun 26, 2014 8:52:43 GMT
Im sure it is just aches and pains from Anxiety but its so hard to tell myself that :/ xx
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Post by monica on Jun 26, 2014 9:05:15 GMT
Not at all!
I got pni after my second child who was born in 2004. It seemed to kick off when he was 4 months old after an exhausting week. I started getting strange physical symptoms which no one could find an explanation for and this kicked off the anxiety. I plummeted mentally and was in a really bad way for 4-5 months when I eventually took meds.
For me this was the turning point and I found that my physical symptoms seemed to lift fairly quickly as did the anxiety. However I did get the blips and my anxiety seemed to turn into depression although as I recovered these blips did become less intense. I was on meds for about 2 yrs.
I went on to have a third child and was pni free.
I do understand how it can feel as if this illness will never go . It can take time though which is very frustrating at times.x
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Post by rochelle121 on Jun 26, 2014 13:34:25 GMT
Hey Monica, My Dr wants me to up my dose of fluoxetine to 40mg rather than 20 mg but im not sure I want to as im seeing no real improvement at 20mg and im still suicidal but if I don't I know he will say its because I haven't tried upping the dose yet not sure how much I can cope with to be honest. I feel like ive had enough of suffering now and I just want to feel better or not live im sorry but I feel awful and like such a failure xx
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Post by monica on Jun 26, 2014 14:59:34 GMT
You're not a failure . You're ill and it's pni making u feel this way. On the contrary you r an amazing mum who is doing an amazing job in spite of feeling so unwell .
Sorry if u have but discuss ur worries with dr - that you haven't seen much improvement on 20mg - still have anxiety and feeling suicidal and are worried that 40mg won't help. Did the suicidal thoughts start with meds? Also perhaps you or someone close could talk to pharmacist . They r quite knowledgable .
The anxiety can be so draining but hang on in therex
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Post by rochelle121 on Jun 26, 2014 15:11:44 GMT
Hey Monica, I was suicidal in the beginning anyway wich is why I took the meds but for the first 3weeks they made me much worse and then settled kind of and ive noticed sime improvement here and there but my anxiety is worse than it was originally. I told the Dr I havent seen enough improvement to want to up my dose but he said to juat do it, all ive done today is cry so much I have a migraine and I cant stop crying, I have 3 children but there dad has them as im in no fit state atm. I just dont think im strong bought to keep going on with diff meds or diff doses etc. I feel soo fragile atm xxx
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Post by monica on Jun 26, 2014 16:05:56 GMT
Hugs lovely lady! I so feel for you.
I'm can't give you advice re meds as just don't know whether an increase in dose would help or not. I read some stuff in fluoxetine which said that initially you can have increased suicidal / self harm thoughts. Maybe someone else here will have ideas .
I found when very ill id break up day into chunks so for instance don't even think about tomoz or next just concentrate on the next two hrs.
Do u do any exercise. I know ur very upset ATM but maybe just go for a walk round the block to clear ur head. Is there anyone who could come to just give u a hug? Keep talking I'll try to keep an eye on u this evening as much as I can if u fancy chattingx
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Post by rochelle121 on Jun 26, 2014 16:18:32 GMT
Ive went for a walk but just cant stop crying, Im scared to take the higher dose incase it tips me over the edge as im not coping at all as it is. If I wasnt such a wimp id av ended it all already. But im getting close im sorry to say that xxx
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Post by monica on Jun 26, 2014 17:20:43 GMT
You are not a wimp -don't think that. There is a self preservation instinct in us. This is a horrible illness and it feels like too much.
I think u need someone to support u and right now . Can u talk to someone or get someone to stay with u. Calling dr now would be good idea. If u think u might harm urself or even the anxiety is just not manageable even call 999. The Samaritans are very good to talk to as well.
I know your suffering is unbearable ATM . You need support . Things won't always be like thisx
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Post by monica on Jun 26, 2014 17:22:27 GMT
08457 909090 tel for Samaritans 111 medical advice
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Post by rochelle121 on Jun 26, 2014 17:41:17 GMT
Thank you Monica, I phoned my mental health team and they said "take more diazipam"
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Post by monica on Jun 26, 2014 18:15:12 GMT
If the diazepam doesn't help call them again. I know of a few people who have used Samaritans and say they r excellent and so supportive x
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Post by rochelle121 on Jun 26, 2014 18:19:14 GMT
I just feel hopeless and helpless. Like nothing will help anymore xx
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Post by sarajay28 on Jun 26, 2014 18:29:20 GMT
Hi rochelle,
I haven't written in your diary yet but have been reading. I hope you don't mind me writing here. You sound pretty desperate at the minute and definitely in need of all the support you can get.
I know you say you are scared of taking a higher dose of diazepam in case it tips you over the edge but in all honesty you sound as if you are at rock bottom already?? Did you tell your mental health team that you feel suicidal right now? It seems pretty poor of them to just tell you to take more meds without offering any alternative support, I'm sorry you are going through this.
I would re-iterate what Monica has said regarding the samaritans. They are very good and are there just to listen not judge or advise.
If there is anything I can do please let me know. I'll be around tonight if you need to talk
SJ xx
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Post by rochelle121 on Jun 26, 2014 18:34:15 GMT
Its taking the higher dose of fluoxetine im scared of incase it tips me over the edge because after 6weeks n im still not coping on 20mg of fluoxetine but my mental health Dr has told me to double it and see if that helps. Ive told him im still suicidal but hes insisting I give the higher dose a try but im scared I cant take it getting any worse, he said if it does take more diazipam and sleeping tabs but I disnt need all these pills to help with sleep and anxiety before I started the anti depressants xx
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Post by rochelle121 on Jun 26, 2014 18:37:23 GMT
Since starting messing about with meds ive went from just about functioning to not functioning at all and having my childrens dad have to move to his mums with the kids temporarily while im in such a state, I feel like ive lost everything and my health anxiety is through the roof now too xx
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