Whew! I'm not alone....

[Wendy]

Hi this is Wendy from New Zealand. Oh I'm glad to have found this website. Now I don't feel so isolated.
Is there anyone around who wants to talk?

[Elaine]

Hi Wendy

Wow, New Zealand, what a wonderful place. How are you? This website is really great and being able to talk to people who are going through the same things as you is helpful. Have you been suffering for long. I have a one year old daughter and have been suffering for about 10 months. I must admit I am over the worst ( and i mean worst!!!) of it now but it still gets to me now and again and just knowing other women go through it really helps.

Keep in touch

Elaine

[Wendy]

Hi Elaine

Thanks for making contact. Where are you? Sounds like you've had a rough time. How's life with your daughter now that you are over the worst of it? How was her birthday for you? Hope that you were able to acknowledge it in a way that suited you. (sorry about all the questions - just interested).

I have a 15 week old son after five years of infertility. I went downhill with the PND after a round of b/feeding problems and associated loss of confidence and shattered dreams. I'm functioning pretty well at the moment bar the spells of excessive anxiety. Being an at home Mum is proving to be a dramatic lifestyle change after having worked full time in an office. Mind you I have been isolating myself majorly so it's no wonder I've been getting bored and staying depressed.
One day at a time though eh? Mean time you take care and I'll try and do the same.

Wendy

[Elaine]

Hi Wendy

[Elaine]

Hi Wendy - third time lucky, keep pressing the wrong keys. I just typed up a wopping great long piece and lost it!!! ahhh

Anyway I am based in England, living near to Cambridge. Life is much better now but yes I did really suffer badly and would not wish this illness on my worst enemy. I can honestly say that at my worst I never thought I would ever return to normality and feel like my old self. But hey, I am and although I'm still not completely better, I know that I am well on the way to getting there.

I know exactly what you say about being an at home mum. I used to work in an office as a PA and the job was so hectic but I loved every minute of of, so to go from non-stop company, telephone calls and piles of work to complete islolation and a tiny babe to look after, it really knocked me for six. When you work full-time you never know what each day will bring, but with a small baby you find every day is the same routine and with no one else around you, you do start to feel very lonely and frightened. I must admit I now have a car so can get out and about as much as I want to. So if oneday I do feel a bit down, I just put Becky in her car seat and pop off to the shops or visit my mum and dad. I know it is hard when you feel depressed, but even just going out for a walk is a great help.

I too had real problems with b/feeding and felt such a failure. Not sure how it is in New Zealand but over here there is a real push for new mums to b/feed and the feelings of guilt you get when you cannot, only adds to your depression. Do not feel guilty, my little girl is a healthy happy little lass, and has never had a cold or cough, so formula milk cannot be that bad!

The anxiety is awful, I know. I worried constantly about anything and everything from completely losing my sanity to not doing the laundry! You find with PND all your worries are magnified and whereas you normally worry about the washing for five seconds and then forget about it, with PND you just can't and everything gets blown out of proportion and the more you worry the deeper set it gets in your mind!!! It does go away I promise - if I look at the washing pile now I just think what the hell I'll do it when I get the time.

I hope I haven't waffled on too much and I hope this has helped you in some way. Just knowing that other women are suffering and recovering (and you will recover completely!!!) is a great boost.

Take care Wendy

Elaine

[Wendy]

Thanks for your reply Elaine (& determination to post your message!!) Aha Cambridge - I've been there! I have an uncle who lives in Histon. It was at least ten years ago though that I visited. Narrow streets, blocks of houses all joined together and a punting river is what I remember & a big Cathedral.

And you were a P.A. Gee our backgrounds are similar it seems. I was office secretary for a Hardware store and was very much in demand too. I enjoyed the feeling of being very experienced in the company which meant I felt important and useful every day. And yes the variety was good too as you said. Good on you for getting out and about Elaine. I go out on Tuesdays to a coffee group one week and a PND support group the next week. The other days I can't think of anywhere that I want to go to !! I guess that will improve as my confidence with baby grows.

Feeding babies - oh yes mega pressure here also to feed baby yourself. Little did I know the problems that
can arise though. Painful, blistered and at times bleeding nipples, mastitis x3, subsequent engorgement
and wrangling with various breast pumps NOT FUN !!
In hindsight I tried my best but I sure didn't think that was good enough when the PND hit.

Thanks for the support re formula. Yip our wee boy is growing well so that's reassuring. If anything he's a
bit overweight !! Crying doesn't always mean hungry eh?!!!!

Good to hear from you. Say Hi to my uncle if you come across him !!! (average height with a bald head and a cheesey grin on his face!!) Hope you're having a good day.


Bye for now
Wendy

[Elaine]

Hi Wendy

Hope you are feeling okay today. How is life with you. How has your day been? I have been visiting my sister today. She has two little girls, one aged 4 and the other 15 months. Her little 4 year old has swimming lessons so I babysat while she went with her. So I had two little poppets to look after.

It is getting very cold over in England just now. Having to wrap Becky up in winter woolies and blankets. Still I love the cold weather. What is the weather like in New Zealand - I would love to visit NZ it just looks so beautiful.

I went to Scotland last weekend. My boyfriend is Scottish and it was his aunt and uncle's 40th Wedding Anniversay. We flew up which took only an hour (normally about 5-6 hours by car) so we had a lovely long stay. Becky stayed with her Grandparents but I did miss her desperately. But it was good to have some time together.

I hope you are feeling okay and look forward to hearing your news shortly.

With best wishes

Elaine

[Wendy]

Hi again Elaine

Sorry to take so long to reply. I forgot to tick the "notify me if any more messages are posted" box so had missed your message. I'm feeling & functioning better all the time. My husbands pleased because we've been able to go out and about again. We're into spring here and things are warming up nicely. Still unpredictable but lots of chances to take baby Adrian out for nice walks in the sun. Ooh you like the cold. You're in the right place then eh?!! I'd never cope because I'm a summer girl and find winter quite depressing. Mind you having the house well heated makes a big difference I think. Glad you had a good time in Scotland. I have rellies in Lossiemouth Scotland. I've been there too. The wind is absolutely freezing up there in the North. I can remember it even though it was years ago.
Good on you for babysitting. It sounds like you're functioning really well and enjoying yourself.

New Zealand.. yip it's a lovely country I think. We're in West Auckland (North Island) which is known for its scenic Waitakere Ranges/bush walks and black sand beaches. We're 15 minutes from the first beach along the coast. It's a very wild surf beach but lots of fun for swimming and boogie boarding. Also dangerous though because of rips and unpredictable conditions. There are some beautiful walks to waterfalls and alongside rivers too. I'd like to take Adrian there once it dries out under foot. Do you think you'll get a chance to travel some day? My Mum has been going over to England/Scotland every couple of years for the last ten or so. She loves it and always goes adventuring around tracing her family history etc. (Sutherland family).

It was good to hear from you again. I'll give you my email address so that you can e-mail me directly if you'd rather [e-mail] then we have the option of enclosing photos too sometime eg. of babies

Bye for now Take care
Wendy