anyone help?

[Anna]

i wonder if anyone can advise me as i feel i might have been a little niave. I had no previous history of depression, but within a week of my daughter's birth i fell apart and suffered from debilitating depression which my midwives and health visitors seemed to refuse to recognise. I finally changed GP's when my daughter was 15 months old and only then got treatment. I was hoping i would fully recover, my new GP was fantastic, my partner very supportive, and i finally started on antidepressants and stayed on them for around a year, and they really worked well for me. I gradually came off them and felt healthy for months. I honestly thought "that's it then, 100% recovered". But i am now finding that occasionally i have periods where the depression and feelings of despair return - admittedly not as bad as before, and for around 6 weeks at a time. I thought i would be free of it but it seems, as my daughter is now approaching 3, that i have to accept that i will have to accept i will suffer depression for the rest of my life. Is this right? Should this be? I feel like i have been defeated, i feel like it would be dangerous for me to even think of giving my daughter a sibling in case i suffered it again and even worse. My partner thinks that i have set my expectations to high and i am being too hard on myself but i don't want to have to spend the rest of my life with periods when i feel like a reduced version of myself. Should i see my GP again or just ride it out? HELP!!!

Anna.

[Wendy]

Hi Anna

I am so sorry to hear of your depressive feelings returning after being well for so long. That sounds really disappointing and upsetting for you. How would it be to check things out with your G.P. again? Riding it out might be tempting but could majorly disrupt your family life. Also I'm pretty perplexed about hormonal
involvement in P.N.D. but it seems any imbalance with them can sometimes send women into a major spin too. On the subject of having more children. I appreciate your concerns there because I have them too. I have heard of women who demand antideps during their pregnancy in order to avoid falling into the
"pit" again. Meantime take it easy on yourself if you can. I know that's often easier said than done. One step at a time and maybe once this passes you will come to a place where you feel confident about extending your family hey?

Thoughts with you.

Wendy