Post by husband on Jul 9, 2004 18:14:10 GMT
Our beautiful daughter was born last november and for the next three months our lives were much the same as most new parents (learning, coping etc). Then at the end of January this year we wend for a 3 day break to Cornwall.
Those first 24hrs of our trip to Cornwall have proven to be the catalyst that started my wife's illness. The evening before we went we watched a film on Sky called The Hunted, a standard thriller film with Tommy Lee Jones tracking down a killer with a big knife. The following day my wife was washing up at the cottage we were renting in Cornwall and came across a knife similar to the one in the film. She had a physical reaction and felt sick - but could not understand her emotions and tried to put it aside in her mind and carried on. That evening we were watching the news and an article came up about a mother who had stabbed her baby to death in its pushchair in a shopping mall.
As we were to later discover, this sequence of events had raised the PND to the surface and from that day to this our lives have been turned upside down.
My wife was consumed by thoughts that she too could hurt our baby in the same way - The thoughts spiralled out of control " Why am I thinking these things - I must be a terrible mother - If I can think these things then I must be capable of these things - If I'm capable of these things I must be mad - If I'm mad then I probably will do it....etc etc etc.
These thoughts literally broke my wife down to a shadow of her former self. She was an emotional wreck, physically exhausted, and on a constant emotional rollercoaster.
The local health visitor referred her to our GP. The GP diagnosed PND and pescribed Fluoxetine (Prozac). The Prozac unfortunately caused increased anxiety and nervousness and my wife stopped taking it after a week, and we started seeing a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist instead. This helped and for the next four months she "got by".
Unfortunatley she had a relapse about a month with a resurgance in the bad thoughts and she finally decided that she needed the medication. Unfortunately the Prozac caused the same nervous and anxious symptoms to the point that the GP pescribed Diazepam (Valium) to allow her to function. A further setback occured last week as the effects of the Valium started making the bad thoughts not seem so bad. This in effect was actually worse - It's one thing to have bad thoughts but at least you know they are bad. But when your emotions are taken away and those same thoughts now don't provoke the revulsion you expect, my wife found it too much to bear. I took the Valium away and my wife was referred to the local community mental health clinic. She has been advised to stop the Prozac for five days to see if the anxiety and nervousness stop. If it does then she has beed advised to change to Sertraline which apparently does not have the same side effects.
We are on day one without Prozac and we all have our fingers crossed for a reduction in the anxiety and a hope that the Sertraline will do the job better.
Although to date this is a pretty negative story, I DO believe that we will get over this. My wife WILL recover and through forums like this, others who are affected by this evil condition can gain hope, reassurance and help.
Those first 24hrs of our trip to Cornwall have proven to be the catalyst that started my wife's illness. The evening before we went we watched a film on Sky called The Hunted, a standard thriller film with Tommy Lee Jones tracking down a killer with a big knife. The following day my wife was washing up at the cottage we were renting in Cornwall and came across a knife similar to the one in the film. She had a physical reaction and felt sick - but could not understand her emotions and tried to put it aside in her mind and carried on. That evening we were watching the news and an article came up about a mother who had stabbed her baby to death in its pushchair in a shopping mall.
As we were to later discover, this sequence of events had raised the PND to the surface and from that day to this our lives have been turned upside down.
My wife was consumed by thoughts that she too could hurt our baby in the same way - The thoughts spiralled out of control " Why am I thinking these things - I must be a terrible mother - If I can think these things then I must be capable of these things - If I'm capable of these things I must be mad - If I'm mad then I probably will do it....etc etc etc.
These thoughts literally broke my wife down to a shadow of her former self. She was an emotional wreck, physically exhausted, and on a constant emotional rollercoaster.
The local health visitor referred her to our GP. The GP diagnosed PND and pescribed Fluoxetine (Prozac). The Prozac unfortunately caused increased anxiety and nervousness and my wife stopped taking it after a week, and we started seeing a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist instead. This helped and for the next four months she "got by".
Unfortunatley she had a relapse about a month with a resurgance in the bad thoughts and she finally decided that she needed the medication. Unfortunately the Prozac caused the same nervous and anxious symptoms to the point that the GP pescribed Diazepam (Valium) to allow her to function. A further setback occured last week as the effects of the Valium started making the bad thoughts not seem so bad. This in effect was actually worse - It's one thing to have bad thoughts but at least you know they are bad. But when your emotions are taken away and those same thoughts now don't provoke the revulsion you expect, my wife found it too much to bear. I took the Valium away and my wife was referred to the local community mental health clinic. She has been advised to stop the Prozac for five days to see if the anxiety and nervousness stop. If it does then she has beed advised to change to Sertraline which apparently does not have the same side effects.
We are on day one without Prozac and we all have our fingers crossed for a reduction in the anxiety and a hope that the Sertraline will do the job better.
Although to date this is a pretty negative story, I DO believe that we will get over this. My wife WILL recover and through forums like this, others who are affected by this evil condition can gain hope, reassurance and help.
