Post by juicyd on Apr 14, 2006 1:14:06 GMT
hi evry1. my name is donald, and im from burnley in lancashire. great to meet ye all. well, where do i start! i have been with my wife for 9 years now, and ever since i met her she has been a sufferer of post natal illnesses. my wife had given birth to her second son 10 months before i started dating her and she was in a terrible state. i can recall the health visitors and doctors saying that she had the most severe form of PNI, and had to have quite a few shock treatments as well as loads of anti depressants etc. still it took her 2 years to get over it, not entirely, but near enough. she had also had PNI with her first child, but it was less severe and only lasted a few months.
everything was fine up until a year ago wen we decided to have a baby(after much talking and planning during those 9 years being together), my wife fell pregnant and i had my first, and, probably my last child. i am very proud of my wife, as she was frightened to death of gettin ill again and yet she still went ahead with everything just for me.Anyway, we had a beautiful baby girl(Amy), and evrything seemed to be goin fine. We had been promised by my wife's doctor that as soon as she got pregnant they would start her on medication, but that never happened, so my wife started slippin back into the illness again, 2 weeks after Amy was born. at first it didnt seem too bad, she had a good spell for about a week, but during the second week she deteriorated within a few days, and was admtted to Blackburn's Queens Park hospital. it got worse in the week that she was there so she was then transferred to Manchesters Wythenshawe Hospital mother and baby unit, and has been receiving treatment there under the section 3 act, for the past 5 weeks. last week though, she had been seen to be improving enough to be let home by the doctor for a weekend trial. she came home on the friday afternoon, but by saturday morning, she had gotten up an hour before me, and took an overdose of all her medication . she was then taken back to the mother and baby unit on the sunday and, and i was asked to attend a meeting the following morning. to my surprise the meeting wasn't about my wife's suicide attempt, (even though it was mentioned briefly),but the fact that they wanted to send her home again for a WHOLE WEEK. i was terrified at the thought so i tried to persuade them to keep her at the hospital, just in case she tried to do it again, my wife tried to explain how she was feeling as well, but it didn't alter their decision to send her home. to say that i have been on eggshells all week, and scared half to death of anything goin wrong, i have managed to see her through til today.
my wife has had some crisis managemant team members calling out to the house this week and every day she would tell them the same thing, that she felt suicidal,but they still kept her with me at home. the only thing was that these thoughts were only mentioned when the crisis team came, and the whole time i was lookin after her at home i never heard her mention one thing about ending it all. in fact she had promised me that she would never try it again because it scared her. she would smile, laugh and do everyday chores with me as if nothing was wrong, but would often say that she still felt confused, couldn't make any decisions, was a huge burden on me, ( even though i kept tellin her she wasnt, u know, in sikness and in health) and was swamped with millions of thoughts goin round in her head about anything that she had done that day.
the thing is that when my wife went out with the crisis managemant lady today for a walk, they came back and the crisis lady told me everything was fine, but when my wife and i went shopping( it was part of the plan to get her back into a daily routine), the crisis team manager rang me up, told me that my wife had said to the crisis support lady that she was going to jump off a bridge and kill herself, and that they were takin her back to the mother and baby unit within the hour. well you could imagine how surprised i was , as i had been told by the crisis lady that everything was fine(apart from my wife's re-occuring thoughts), earlier that morning.
when i got home my wife's health co-ordinator rang and said that she was comin to pick my wife up, and take her back. while we were waiting , i asked my wife if she had said wat they said she had said, and she denied it point blank. she even told her health co-ordinator that she never said it, still it didnt change the fact that she had to go back to the hospital. the only thing is, is that it got me soooooooooo upset and frustrated at the fact that i had been given the sole responsibility to look after my wife that week, with the exception of the crisis team support, even after she had actually attempted suicide and allowed home the next day for a whole week, that, as soon as one of their team mentioned the fact that my wife was supposed to have said something that she is still denying saying, as well as the fact she had been telling them the same thing all week and they didnt do anything, they can just take her off like that without even askin me how she has been that week or taken into consideration how me, my wife, my step son, and my baby would be affected by it. so now i am sat here proper gutted, and feel like a failure, and that they think that i am not responsible enough to look after my wife, even though i removed every single sharp items in the house and threw out every single bit of medication that was not my wife's, and not sleeping a wink for three nights, and watching her every move. i am finding it realy hard to cope with on my own and am lookin for someone to listen
everything was fine up until a year ago wen we decided to have a baby(after much talking and planning during those 9 years being together), my wife fell pregnant and i had my first, and, probably my last child. i am very proud of my wife, as she was frightened to death of gettin ill again and yet she still went ahead with everything just for me.Anyway, we had a beautiful baby girl(Amy), and evrything seemed to be goin fine. We had been promised by my wife's doctor that as soon as she got pregnant they would start her on medication, but that never happened, so my wife started slippin back into the illness again, 2 weeks after Amy was born. at first it didnt seem too bad, she had a good spell for about a week, but during the second week she deteriorated within a few days, and was admtted to Blackburn's Queens Park hospital. it got worse in the week that she was there so she was then transferred to Manchesters Wythenshawe Hospital mother and baby unit, and has been receiving treatment there under the section 3 act, for the past 5 weeks. last week though, she had been seen to be improving enough to be let home by the doctor for a weekend trial. she came home on the friday afternoon, but by saturday morning, she had gotten up an hour before me, and took an overdose of all her medication . she was then taken back to the mother and baby unit on the sunday and, and i was asked to attend a meeting the following morning. to my surprise the meeting wasn't about my wife's suicide attempt, (even though it was mentioned briefly),but the fact that they wanted to send her home again for a WHOLE WEEK. i was terrified at the thought so i tried to persuade them to keep her at the hospital, just in case she tried to do it again, my wife tried to explain how she was feeling as well, but it didn't alter their decision to send her home. to say that i have been on eggshells all week, and scared half to death of anything goin wrong, i have managed to see her through til today.
my wife has had some crisis managemant team members calling out to the house this week and every day she would tell them the same thing, that she felt suicidal,but they still kept her with me at home. the only thing was that these thoughts were only mentioned when the crisis team came, and the whole time i was lookin after her at home i never heard her mention one thing about ending it all. in fact she had promised me that she would never try it again because it scared her. she would smile, laugh and do everyday chores with me as if nothing was wrong, but would often say that she still felt confused, couldn't make any decisions, was a huge burden on me, ( even though i kept tellin her she wasnt, u know, in sikness and in health) and was swamped with millions of thoughts goin round in her head about anything that she had done that day.
the thing is that when my wife went out with the crisis managemant lady today for a walk, they came back and the crisis lady told me everything was fine, but when my wife and i went shopping( it was part of the plan to get her back into a daily routine), the crisis team manager rang me up, told me that my wife had said to the crisis support lady that she was going to jump off a bridge and kill herself, and that they were takin her back to the mother and baby unit within the hour. well you could imagine how surprised i was , as i had been told by the crisis lady that everything was fine(apart from my wife's re-occuring thoughts), earlier that morning.
when i got home my wife's health co-ordinator rang and said that she was comin to pick my wife up, and take her back. while we were waiting , i asked my wife if she had said wat they said she had said, and she denied it point blank. she even told her health co-ordinator that she never said it, still it didnt change the fact that she had to go back to the hospital. the only thing is, is that it got me soooooooooo upset and frustrated at the fact that i had been given the sole responsibility to look after my wife that week, with the exception of the crisis team support, even after she had actually attempted suicide and allowed home the next day for a whole week, that, as soon as one of their team mentioned the fact that my wife was supposed to have said something that she is still denying saying, as well as the fact she had been telling them the same thing all week and they didnt do anything, they can just take her off like that without even askin me how she has been that week or taken into consideration how me, my wife, my step son, and my baby would be affected by it. so now i am sat here proper gutted, and feel like a failure, and that they think that i am not responsible enough to look after my wife, even though i removed every single sharp items in the house and threw out every single bit of medication that was not my wife's, and not sleeping a wink for three nights, and watching her every move. i am finding it realy hard to cope with on my own and am lookin for someone to listen