update bout my wife di

[juicyd]

hi evry1 again, sorry for not being on but i've been havin a few problems. di escaped from our house this tuesday while i was sleepin in bed and took the car and her credit card with her. she left the baby with me and drove around all day til she was eventually found by my sister in law. i had called the police and they contacted the newspapers and radio to put out a call for di to come back. there was an article in the lancashire telegraph paper on wednesday, and broadcast on granada news on tuesday and wednesday as well!! did anyone c it? she was found safe and well and is back in hospital again!! they are tryin her on a drug called Lithium now,as well as her other meds so i hope it does the trick. anyway i gotta go get the shoppin put away. thought id give ye's a little bit of an update. hope u are all doin a bit better and look after yourselves. thanx for all your support up til now. i really appreciate it.

[marion]

Hi there
Good to hear Di is safe and well. I really hope the new drugs help her - finding the rights drugs can be so hit and miss but once she finds the one for her I'm sure things will really improve.
Let her know I'm thinking of her and I'm here anytime you or her need a talk.
Love
Marion.

[cheshire]

Hi there

I too am glad she's safe. Hope the new drugs work.

Yes, as Marion says, plse. let her know we are thinking of her.

If you need to talk, as this must be very stressful for you too, feel free

Hopeful

[yoyo]

Thinking of you both x x x

[Hopefuls husband]

Hi Donald,
I thought I had had a hard time but I'm relieved to say that I never had to call out a search party for her. You must be wondering what next. Don't despair, she'll get better but it will take time, patience and stamina! I just hope you have family and friends around you to help. I didn't tell anyone about Hopeful's illness to begin with because I didn't understand it and felt it would be disloyal but it has been a turning point since we agreed to do so. She needed to see that there was an explanation that didn't make it her fault before she could.
Best of luck,
Hopeful's husband.

[juicyd]

thats just it!! i don't have anybody!! her family don't call round to c me unless di is here and they never phone unless something has happened to di. not being funni, but u lot are all i have. my family deserted me and moved bak over to N.Ireland 8 years ago and i haven't heard from any of them since. so they can't help!! the only person in my wife's family that bothers is her mum, but she can't do much to help cos she is lookin after her dad who has dementia, as well as tryin to cope with all of this, never mind listenin to me. i can say that if it wasn't possible to talk to u lot on here, i don't know where i'd b at rite now. our social worker is tryin to get me some councelling at the mo, but i feel like i could do with it now, and not a few weeks down the line. i had to go into work today to take my sick note in, and i broke down in front of the personnel manager wen i was talkin bout di and how my ten year old son has been a great help to me.that just is not me. i suppose if it wasnt the fact that i have to look after him as well, i think i'd have given in by now. me social worker keeps suggestin that i go to the doctors and get some pills, but i don't wanna b stuck on them again, and i can't even be bothered to go c them myself. i feel like i'm losin control of everyday things, things that i can normally do no problem, like washin up, washing clothes, vacuuming, even the bills. i can't be arsed wiv any of them to be honest. the only thing im interseted in at the mo, is my pc, and me playstation portable. they are the only things that help me escape facin everything. i know it sounds horrible, but everytime i think of di, and that i could have lost her for good the other day, the more i cant be arsed wiv anything, does that seem normal???

[marion]

I know I forget about how hard it is fo rmy husband to cope with me. I am very self absorbed and forget that I have put him under a lot of stress. In a way I felt better when I was in hospital because I knew I was less of a burdon.
Are you looking after your little one or does Di in hosptial (dont know if she's ona mother and baby unit). Mark, my hubby had to take a mth off work to look after Chloe my little girl whilst I was in hosptil.
HAve to go now, but talk soon
Marion

[juicyd]

yeah di is on a mother an baby unit in wythenshawe hospital, manchester. she has got the baby with her, but i do have to look after her wen she is home with me, cos di doesn't seem to be interested some of the time. i too have been of work now for about 7 wks, and it has been a long haul. like i said though, its a struggle to get through everything as well as being worried about your wife as well.so are you recovering or a recovered sufferer?? just thought id ask as im not too sure?

[Marion not logged on]

Hi
I'm still trying to recover - have been bad since last dec when I first went into hosp. It's taken me a while and I've had some really down patches but I've had my meds upped again in the last month which does seem to have made a difference. They're also talking bout starting me on something else fo rmy thoughts which apparuntly arent what they should be. I dont know - all confuses me!

Just wanted to add to what I'd put. I used to really worry about Mark - he hasnt really slept properly since I was bad - he has troucble getting off to sleep. Origianlly that was because he'd worry bout what I'd do in the night and then it went through a phase of feeling anxious and his mind racing. I know he's kept a lot of how he's been feeling from me but it's been very hard on him.

Iknow that tablets do seem very extreme to some poeple but if you dont feel you're coping they may just give you that little bit extra that you need to get you through this patch- it doesnt have to be for ever. I know Mark has considered it.
And as for escaping on your computor - I dont blame you. It's the same for me - it's the only way I can relax. I do online gaming which helps improve my concentration but it also takes you out your own head. Everyone says rest when the baby rests but I could never do that - my mind was too full of tings to do and I thnk computors occupy your mind so you dont think of youself so much.

It doesnt matter if the housework doesnt get done at the moment. Dont worry about it - I know Mark didnt vacuum for getting on for a month when I wasnt around - he was too busy trying cope in other ways! Do what you need to do to get through each day.

Come on here and post as much as you feel like - they'll always be someone here to talk of you need and you can always pm me any time.
Love
Marion.

[yoyo]

Can't really add anything to what Marion has said but we're here for you too x And DI but at the moment Di is getting the treatment she needs and you are in need of support. I hope things get sorted for a councillor for you x x In the meantime use this forum as much as you need to let off steam, worry, get frsutrated etc etc and try not to worry about the housework etc - it's always there and when you're on a better day it's easy enough to tackle x You are doin so well you know x

[Veritee]

Hi Donald

I do not think I have written to you before but I founded this site and am the admin for it.

I was interested when you said your wife was in a mother and baby unit at 'wythenshawe hospital, Manchester' I try to keep up with who provides what service for mums with PNI but I did not actually know about this one!

I did not know they had a specialized mother and baby unit .

Is it a specialized perinatal unit or is it a small unit off a main psychiatric section? How many mothers and babies does it take? Who is the consultant in charge? And

What do you think of it ?Do you feel the treatment and support you have received has been good? - you do not have to answer this but if you wanted to comment it would be interesting to hear how what was offered is perceived form a partners point of view - for instance do they provide you with support ? I would have thought that it would be useful for you to have someone you could offload to or discuss issues with at this difficult time - as you say you do have to basically care for both your wife and your child when they are home from the hospital so I was interested as to how much support you are getting to help you do this?

You are of course welcome to continue to use this site if it is helpful to you and I only hope we can help. I wish we had more men who were regular participants on here but if a man is not available we will always try to listen and understand.

When your wife is out of hospital perhaps we can offer support to her as well?

I like to hold this information about mother and baby unit and other services for women on this forum - I have just found their web site here : www.mhsc.nhs.uk/page.aspx?p=64

It seems very comprehensive - a lot more is offered than in many areas. Here in Cornwall where I live we have no Mother and Baby Unit at all and indeed no facility to specifically treat PNI!!

So I would be interested in yours and your wifes experiences.

I also wanted to say that I am very sorry that you are going through this horrible time - but be assured your wife will get better - PNI is not for ever.

My husband used to say 'one day I will get my Veritee back' and he did

For now I would let the hospital do what they can and I hope that we can continue to be supportive to you in your situation and perhaps your wife once she is out of hospital.

But right now it is you that needs support - I think everything you said was perfectly reasonable under the circumstances ( I too take refuge in my PC at times of stress although I am not much of a gamer so I do not use our Play station - but I can asure understand what you are saying)

I relay think that some sort of support should be provided as a matter of course for partners and relatives and even older children when a mother is hospitalized ( you did say you have a 10 year old didn't you? I would have thought that your 10 years old is feeling some effects of this? Has any extra input been offered for your 10 year old?)

All the best

Veritee

[cheshire]

Hi Donald

We have been thinking of you and Di.

How are things now?

Love to Di

Hopefulxx