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Post by Jim on Aug 3, 2007 0:07:49 GMT
Hi,
I know that what I am going to say here is way beyond the remit of this forum, and this site. However, I have drawn great strength from you all, and I reckon that I should tell you what has happened. Last Monday, my brother, godfather to my son, took his own life. It was the day of my son's birthday. The day after we buried him, I buried my 9 month old cousin. Later that day, my uncle died. My wife has stood by me 100%, I guess that some good has come of a horrendous situation. I mentioned previously that my wife suggested counselling, well as a priority I will be seeking bereavement counselling, so that I do not go to the same dark place that I went to for 2 or 3 years after my mother died. No words can express the sense of loss, bewilderment, rage, anger and frustration that I am going through. However I take comfort from the fact that the huge shock of the last 7 days seems to have overcome the animosity that exists between my wife and I. I can only hope that it continues. God bless you all.
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Post by yoyo on Aug 3, 2007 7:15:48 GMT
Jim - my heart goes out to you and your wife I am so sorry that you've had to go through this x x x x
Words fail me at this time x x x Thinking o fyou allx
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Post by helenr on Aug 4, 2007 21:01:07 GMT
Oh Jim,
my heart breaks for you swetheart. No-one should have so much pain in their lives, let alone all at once.
It is definately not out of the remit of this site to talk about what has happened and your feelings. Please use your thread for anything you wish.
I'm so glad you've already decided to seek bereavement counselling, and hope you find some comfort from it.
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers,
love and hugs as always x
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Post by Jay on Aug 7, 2007 6:31:16 GMT
Hi Jim I have been following your thread, and have seen what problems you still have, and have been through.
There are no words at the moment which will help you while you take in all the things and the hurt of the past week. Be very very kind to yourself, and take things a step at a time.
I send my love to you all, Jay xx
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Post by gizmoracer on Aug 7, 2007 11:58:10 GMT
Oh Jim, I have just read your last post, what can I say. I don't honestly know how on earth I would cope with a situation like that. Its great your wife is being supportive and lets hope you can see a counseller before it all gets on top of you. I had to re-read alot of this thread to remember your situation and would just like to say that you're right men suffer from PNI too. This illness and infact any form of depression affects the whole family. The 2 of you need to work as a team in overcoming all of this. I speak from experience when I say once you have both felt the suffering you can support one another so much better and get through it together.
Don't feel that because you may have nothing to say about PNI that you don't need to be on here. We are all friends and help each other through all sorts of situations, please stay intouch and let us know how you are doing.
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Post by Jim on Aug 20, 2007 2:52:08 GMT
Thanks guys
I don't have much to say right now, in time it will come I suppose, but, it is enough for me to know that there are total strangers who care enough to share a little love.
Jim
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Post by sianyc on Aug 20, 2007 14:37:14 GMT
I just caught up with your thread.
I'm so sorry for your awful loss and hope that counselling can help you.
Take care x
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Post by helenr on Aug 21, 2007 19:57:09 GMT
Hi again Jim,
we are all sending you and yours love and support.
xx.
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Post by Jim on Sept 29, 2007 21:02:40 GMT
Hi All I'm sorry to say that in the last week, myself and my wife have seperated. As a last throw of the dice I showed her this thread, and she laughed at me and told me to get help. I have tried and tried, but have now lost my family, I would like to say thanks to everyone who gave me advice and love, I literally can do no more. I don't think I will be posting again, I have to leave the family home very soon, so will have no internet access, to say I am gutted is a real understatement, my wife has pushed me so far away, and for so long, there really is no way back. The last 2 months have been a whirlwind, I lost my brother through suicide, my cousin and uncle both died, and now I have lost my own family. Its very hard to see the way forward. I wonder sometimes wether its worth goin on. Thanks again for all your support. Jim xxx
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Post by winegirl on Sept 30, 2007 7:42:43 GMT
Hi Jim
I am so sorry that it has come to this for you. There is a way forward, you will find it, and we will be here to support you when you need it.
I know you say there is no way back, but do you think that maybe in the future you could reconsider this?
If you do manage to get internet access again, please come back and talk to us, we will all be thinkin g of you x
Winegirl x
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Post by Jay on Sept 30, 2007 14:46:46 GMT
Oh Jim I am so sorry about you and your wife. You have worked so hard to keep the family together.
You have had a really bad time the past few months. When you have had time to think and settle, you must move on. It is worth going on.
You are a good man, and a kind man. You deserve to be happy again.
If you need a chat then you know where we are. I send you my love and loads of best wishes, take care Jay xx
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Post by helenr on Nov 24, 2007 22:31:53 GMT
Oh Jim, have been away from the site for so long, and am very sorry to come back and find your last post.
Just wanted to post incase you do come back, take care and try to look after yourself,
love and hugs x
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Post by Mandrake on Nov 27, 2007 2:21:51 GMT
It's a terrifying business and Jim I feel so sorry and sympathetic to your situation. Reading the thread and the curve-and-swing of your partners behaviour towards you is like reliving the past years... I hope you are doing ok and getting things sorted. Courage sir!
My own situation trying to support my partner through pregnancy, childbirth and the first year and a half of our daughters life also ended in separation recently and I am attempting to get our lives re-constructed as best I can. But it has been so tough and every day presents a new impossible mountain to climb.
But I know how to climb mountains. One step at a time. A few ropes and travelling companions make a big difference too though.
I think I'm going to share my story now... but on a less-public part of the site.
Much love, S
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Post by helenr on Dec 1, 2007 21:05:32 GMT
Hi mandrake,
just wanted to welcome you to the site
love and hugs x
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