Post by Proud Dad on Oct 29, 2007 13:57:13 GMT
I find myself posting here with some trepidation. As the name suggests im the proud dad of a 3week old son. He's eating like a little monster, he sleeps pretty much solidly in 3hr blocks and he rarely cries unless he's hungry. All in all he's about the best baby you could ever want (alright im biased )
My wife has never been a baby person but many years ago we agreed that if we were going to be married that I wanted kids at some point in the future. Ive never put direct pressure on her but im sure that discussion has always been there in her mind especially when we agreed to try last year. Shes very active and independent and has never been comfortable just sitting around at home, I think that coupled with the fact she is somewhat prone to what i call "negative thinking" has led to the current state of affairs. We were told it would take a year for her to get pregnant due to the contraceptives, however just 3 months later she was and she burst into tears. The physical side of the pregnancy wasn't a problem but emotionally she resented having to give up all her hobbies for 9 months.
Its not as bad as some stories ive read on here and my heart really does go out to you people. So far we've had the anxiety attacks, the uncontrollable crying, the worry about not knowing how to play with our baby or that she doesn't really enjoy cuddling him. 3 weeks in and shes now talking about going back to work and putting him into nursery which I partly feel is just her trying to run away from the issue.
My family lives close by and therefore the support has been fantastic and despite running my own company im doing as much as I can to help out around the house and support her. Her mum is also making an effort to come up as much as possible despite living 200miles away. The doctor put her on beta blockers and anti depressants however over the weekend she informed me she had thrown them away as she was more worried about taking them than anything else, the problem is the pills have gone but shes still struggling.
My main concern is that since moving up to live here she's made one proper friend in 6 years and as a result has no life outside of the hobbies we have together, ive managed to get her going to post natal groups and mums coffee mornings etc and shes gradually starting to get to know people which is helping but she doesn't seem to be wanting to make the effort.
The somewhat selfish bit is despite my sometimes seemingly endless positivity is that im starting to find it hard coping with the lack of sleep, the change to my own life and then having my wife feeling like she does on top of all that, im doing my absolute best to keep calm and continue supporting her but i really do feel like shouting "snap out of it, you've got a great life, great family, gorgeous baby, money to do things and the time to do it" Part of the reason of the frustration is id love to have the time to be at home looking after him and going out and about but as the main earner and being the boss ive got to be at work.
Any advice, thoughts greatly appreciated but I think even just writing it out and also knowing you aren't alone out there has helped. As always i will continue thinking the postive thoughts and im sure we will come through it ok in the end.
My wife has never been a baby person but many years ago we agreed that if we were going to be married that I wanted kids at some point in the future. Ive never put direct pressure on her but im sure that discussion has always been there in her mind especially when we agreed to try last year. Shes very active and independent and has never been comfortable just sitting around at home, I think that coupled with the fact she is somewhat prone to what i call "negative thinking" has led to the current state of affairs. We were told it would take a year for her to get pregnant due to the contraceptives, however just 3 months later she was and she burst into tears. The physical side of the pregnancy wasn't a problem but emotionally she resented having to give up all her hobbies for 9 months.
Its not as bad as some stories ive read on here and my heart really does go out to you people. So far we've had the anxiety attacks, the uncontrollable crying, the worry about not knowing how to play with our baby or that she doesn't really enjoy cuddling him. 3 weeks in and shes now talking about going back to work and putting him into nursery which I partly feel is just her trying to run away from the issue.
My family lives close by and therefore the support has been fantastic and despite running my own company im doing as much as I can to help out around the house and support her. Her mum is also making an effort to come up as much as possible despite living 200miles away. The doctor put her on beta blockers and anti depressants however over the weekend she informed me she had thrown them away as she was more worried about taking them than anything else, the problem is the pills have gone but shes still struggling.
My main concern is that since moving up to live here she's made one proper friend in 6 years and as a result has no life outside of the hobbies we have together, ive managed to get her going to post natal groups and mums coffee mornings etc and shes gradually starting to get to know people which is helping but she doesn't seem to be wanting to make the effort.
The somewhat selfish bit is despite my sometimes seemingly endless positivity is that im starting to find it hard coping with the lack of sleep, the change to my own life and then having my wife feeling like she does on top of all that, im doing my absolute best to keep calm and continue supporting her but i really do feel like shouting "snap out of it, you've got a great life, great family, gorgeous baby, money to do things and the time to do it" Part of the reason of the frustration is id love to have the time to be at home looking after him and going out and about but as the main earner and being the boss ive got to be at work.
Any advice, thoughts greatly appreciated but I think even just writing it out and also knowing you aren't alone out there has helped. As always i will continue thinking the postive thoughts and im sure we will come through it ok in the end.
