How do you bond with your child?

[pitchounette]

To make things short, I had PND after the birth of my first son. I wasn't diagnosed as such and muddled throught it as well as I could. I then got pregnat again just before his 1st birthday and really had a hard time during the second pregnancy - because I was tired, because I hadn't fully recovered from the PND and because I was with a demanding toddler who was asking what I couldn't give him : patience, time and energy. When my second son was born, it was a bliss. For the frst time in 2 years, I didn't feel exhausted, I enjoyed spending my time with him, loved the closeness, well just loved my son as most mothers do. But still found my first son very very difficult. During this last year, I have tried to create a bond between us but finding it very difficult. I feel guilty of not loving him as much as I love my second son and also feel hurt because I think he is actually struggling to trust me again and to put his barriers down.
Do you have any suggestions to improve our relationship? I would like SO much to be able to love him the same way I love his brother!

[cheshire]

Hi Pitchounette,

Welcome to the site.

I have found this forum a great source of support and help through this illness - I hope you find it helpful tooxx

Love
Hopefulxxx

[sifreynir]

From my own experience I think you need to heal yourself before you can build your relationship with your son.

Its taken nearly 8 years and a positive life and birth experience to teach me that.

My relationship with my oldest is only NOW (in less than 2 weeks since his brother was born) starting to mean something. Now i have finally laid to rest a number of pains and scars I still carried with me since his birth I seem more able to bond with him.

Look at any problems that arose from his birth, everything that had a negative effect on your pregnancy, birth experience and life afterwards. Resolve any issues from those, accept them, heal, learn from them and find a way to move on.

Once you get through that it will make bonding with your son a breeze!

Good luck
*hugs*

[newwie]

Hi

I would appreciate some help on this...
Bonding seems to be hard i cant explain it i love my daughter but dont get the feelings i have ben told that i am detached from the whole world anyway because of this illness but how do you mend it make it better?