So far so good

[flobob]

Hello
I almost can't believe I'm saying this, but I really think I'm better.

I have asked on here before how you know. How you know that there won't be another blip in a week or a month. And I never really got an answer. So I thought I'd try to explain why I think I'm better and how I know.

I know because I can now remember my thoughts from before and recognise that they were irrational.

I'm now 14 weeks pregnant. Having had ante-natal depression with my first pregnancy from very early on - probably around 8 weeks - I can see that this time I'm not having the same thoughts and I can also see that the thoughts I was having were completely irrational. For me that is how I know - recognising that thoughts were skewed because whilst I was thinking them they just felt so definite. And I didn't tell anyone because I thought what can they say, they'll just agree with me and confirm these thoughts. Like a thought I had was that my Nan would die and it would be my fault because I was bringing a baby into the world and that meant someone had to die to make room for my baby.

One worry I do have now is that I'm only better because I'm pregnant because the blips were occuring around the time of my periods, so of course no periods = no blips and maybe it will all come back. But I'm avoiding thinking of that time and know that actually the PNI kicked in way before periods returned after giving birth so that is kind of irrational too.

And I am hopeful because I didn't think I could have a pregnancy without ante-natal depression. So the fact that I am means that maybe I'll have a early mum-time without PNI too. Fingers crossed, legs crossed, eyes crossed

I hope this waffle helps someone because I really wanted someone to tell me how they knew.

Flobob x

[Scarlet]

Hi Flobob,

I am so glad to hear this. Best news hun, even if it means you won't be visiting here often (if at all).

I know what you mean when you say that those thoughts were irrational and that you no longer worry about having a blip, that it's still hanging over your shoulder. When I think of those fears that I had before, I no longer get that anxious feeling, they are just thoughts that I give no weight to at all, and like you I see them as irrational and that part of my life is long behind me now.

Wow 14 weeks pregnant, it's gone sooo fast. I'm sure you'll sail through it and I'll keep everything crossed for you but I think everythings going to be fine, so go live your life as it's meant to be Flo

A huge hug

xxxxxx

[cheshire]

Great news

[winegirl]

Thats fab hun x

[littlelotty]

Hi Flobob

It is really nice to hear when people recover and it gives me hope that I will one day. Good luck with the pregnancy and hope everything goes well.

Take Care

LittleLotty
xx

[carol]

The best of luck Flobob. Carol xoxoxo

[anita123]

Thats wonderful news, good luck with the pregnancy xxx

[flobob]

Hello
My baby girl is now 3 & a half months old. I wanted to come back and tell you how I am, and found this old thread of mine called "So far so good". It seems just the right thing to say now too, so just adding here.

I am just amazed at myself that I don't have PNI again. Really happy to be saying that. Had a few hard times early on after the birth, but was able to rationalise my thoughts when they threatened to go in the wrong direction. Very proud of myself for being able to do that and know it is down to the CBT sessions I had a year ago.

I didn't take any anti-d meds and learnt to understand my thoughts and head them off before they spiralled out of control. Other things I learnt: to ask for help and to accept it, to let go of things that really don't matter (what time we're all finally washed and dressed! how mad my husband makes me when he has a lie in, because I'm jealous that I can't do the same, etc.), to just talk to other mums (wow, I now know that I am a normal person).

I really wanted to reassure anyone who is nervous of having another baby that actually it isn't necessary that it will happen - it hasn't for me so that is a little proof!

Best wishes everyone
FloBob x

[sarajay28]

Hi Flobob,

Congratulations on having your baby daughter, you must be so proud. What an inspiring story, so many women worry about the pni returning/the feelings of guilt about wanting another child etc etc so its lovely to read that this isn;t always the case. Well done and congratulations again.

Sarah.xxx

[winegirl]

Hey Flobob

Thanks for posying this x As someone who would love to have another baby in the furture but is frightened at the prospect of PNI returning, it really is lovely to see that it can be managed and kept at bay!!

Wishing you and your family loads of happiness - you guys deserve it x

WG x

[cheshire]

Hi Flobob,

Thanks so much for posting this - glad all is well

xx