Post by yoyo on Feb 17, 2008 21:04:20 GMT
Peter Kay One Liners
• When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
• I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
• I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
• I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
• I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
• I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
• Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before
Peter Kay Universal Truths
• Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
• Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
• You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
• Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
• The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
• It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
• Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
• Old ladies can eat more than you think.
• You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
• You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
• When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
• I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
• I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
• I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
• I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
• I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
• Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before
Peter Kay Universal Truths
• Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
• Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
• You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
• Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
• The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
• It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
• Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
• Old ladies can eat more than you think.
• You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
• You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
