Post by cazfletcher on Apr 1, 2008 10:03:27 GMT
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love
me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as
husband and wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever
the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER Carla and I are moving away
to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
@@@@@@@@@
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I
didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years
ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I hit the lot to for ten million dollars, I quit my job
and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were
gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was
born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love
me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as
husband and wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever
the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER Carla and I are moving away
to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
@@@@@@@@@
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I
didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years
ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I hit the lot to for ten million dollars, I quit my job
and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were
gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was
born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
