not sure ??

[wendy mac]

Not sure if i have pnd or just first time mum nerves.
\i m not a very confided person at the best of times but since having my daughter 20 wks ago, i feel so nervous all the time.
Sometimes don't even know why i feel this way.
Not as bad as i was in the beginning i used to cry all the time couldn't eat or sleep and couldn't keep still. i thought it had almost gone, but this week my husband is away on a course and i feel scared b
being on my own since he left this morning i just want to cry.
As soon as she goes down to sleep at night right away i starte to worry about what ill do if she wakes up and if i ll managed to get a shower in the morning i know its silly and i will cope but cant stop this constant worrying its like i ve got a nervous tummy all the time.
some days i feel happy and some i think oh my god what have i done , dont get me wrong i love my wee girl to bits but some times think i shouldn't have become a mother that surely after 5months i should be coping.
Is this normal or do i have PND ??

[wendabell not loged in]

hello and welcome a fellow wendy.
Noone tells you about how you will feel in becoming a mum.No books,no magazines no hv or midwives you just get handed this little bundle and hey your expected to know everything.
Before i became ill,i was lucky i had my mum around lots(first granchild) and to be honest i am a carer of disabled teens in a college so caring cleaning and feeding i already knew what to do but on a bigger scale.But that still didnt make it easy or stop me from constant worrying,fretting and a whole heap of emotions that came flooding in.
I was 28 before my biological clock started to tick andbefore that had little to no interest in children let alone having one.But it does change you.
You ask if you are not sure if you have pni. Have you spoken to your hv or gp about how you are feeling.It might not just be first mum nerves but then again it could.You really need to get it diagnosd.It will help you as well as you will then know what corse of action to take to recover.
Just realised this proberbly doesnt sound very helpful.But what i am trying to say is please feel free to read others posts on here.Can you relate to any of them is what you need to ask yourself.please feel free to ask and to post questions on here too.But please go to the docs first and tell them how you are feeling.They might give you a small test of a few questions to diagnose if you have pni or not.
But mostly whatever it is you are welcome here.We have experienced and new mums on here who can help you too and we even have a babies and kids section.
please post back
wendabell
x.x.x

[lou]

Hi Wendabell

How you feeling have you spoke to anyone professional about how you feel i agree with what veritee has said that yes you are expected to know what to do when you have a new baby and it is so had i though it was going to be so magical but it was just the complete opposite.
You'l have to let me know how your getting on


Take care

[Veritee]

Hi Wendy lou and wendybell

It was wendybell ( a great moderator on here)
who replied above not me!!

Wendybell was not logged on so I think the confusion is that she is called Wendy too!!

But I am not the only one who works hard on here and Wendybell has a lot of experience to offer too - she has had more children and has more experience of caring than me as well - and I would hate to take credit for any of her responses or other moderators responses!

I do agree with everything Wendybell says - no one gives you really much help to learn how to care for a baby and suddenly you are all on your own.

But while I cannot say if you have PNI - on of the things that made me realize that I had it was the feeling of fear and dread that I had when my husband went away to work for the first time leaving me alone to look after my child.

I was nto young - late 30s - and had cared for many children through my job but I felt as you describe and more - I was really terrified to the point I could nto sleep eat etc and even vomitted.

It is natural to be nervous about something you have little experience of ie caring for a very small baby on your own - but if you are feeling more than this ie a feeling of real fear and dread and perhaps fear that your baby will suffer harm for any reason - then you could have PNI and it might be wise to see your GP.

Perhaps you can read some of the stories on this site and see if you relate to what is said?

all the best

veritee

[rach]

hello and welcome wendy

i think that one of the worst feeling for me was feeling as if i had failed as a mum
it is true what the girls have said ( they always are ) i was a nursery nurse but when i had ethan i was terified i feared for his health and everyone elses incl mine, i thought everyone was watching me and thinking i was doing it wrong.
i do think that this is norm for some mums however this def does not mean that yiou do not have pni as most mums i have spoken to advise that feeling goes after a couple of mponths when your confidence grows, however i think it is important for you to speak with your hv as if it is pni you could be getting help i feel that from the message you wrote you do believe you have this illness and therefore you need help and support, so please dont think that we are not taking your worries serious as if we can help im sure all the girls will.

take care big hugs rach