Post by foofoo on Jul 4, 2005 11:53:54 GMT
Hello,
This is my first time using a chat room so I'm not sure what I'm doing at all. So bear with me.... I am finding it incredibly hard to speak to anyone and all the advice tells me to go and talk to my GP or fellow mums but the thought of doing this fills me with absolute dread of being told a number of cliches which will tell me that everything will be okay, my problems are minor and there are a lot of people in a worse state than I am and I should just get over it and get on.
On the outside I appear to be a successful happy mum of two (aged 14 months and 2 and a half). I have a good job, lovely husband, have just run the London Marathon this year and people always say how well I'm doing. Inside I feel isolated, useless, unfulfilled and switched off by everything and everyone. I put on a performance for everyone else but I think that this is starting to wane. My husband and I barely talk and I just go through the motions every day. I fear that I am getting worse and have started drinking but it is getting harder to keep my act going.
At work, where I used to be successful I feel like I am useless. I changed jobs when I had the children and am more in an environment of criticism. I feel as though I am becoming paranoid as I have been criticised quite openly on a few occasions. Although my boss stood up for me as these comments were unfounded, since then I have felt tremendously vulnerable and unable to deal with situations rationally. I have gone from a successful socialiser to a paranoid person who dislikes work, but it is the only way that I get real satisfaction.
I love spending time with my children, but feel that they would be better with others as they end up being bored with me.
Basically, I'm at a loss. All the things I used to get enjoyment out of I'm now bored with and can't be bothered. I'm switched off and don't know what to do. I can't even properly describe how I feel. I feel such a failure.
This is my first time using a chat room so I'm not sure what I'm doing at all. So bear with me.... I am finding it incredibly hard to speak to anyone and all the advice tells me to go and talk to my GP or fellow mums but the thought of doing this fills me with absolute dread of being told a number of cliches which will tell me that everything will be okay, my problems are minor and there are a lot of people in a worse state than I am and I should just get over it and get on.
On the outside I appear to be a successful happy mum of two (aged 14 months and 2 and a half). I have a good job, lovely husband, have just run the London Marathon this year and people always say how well I'm doing. Inside I feel isolated, useless, unfulfilled and switched off by everything and everyone. I put on a performance for everyone else but I think that this is starting to wane. My husband and I barely talk and I just go through the motions every day. I fear that I am getting worse and have started drinking but it is getting harder to keep my act going.
At work, where I used to be successful I feel like I am useless. I changed jobs when I had the children and am more in an environment of criticism. I feel as though I am becoming paranoid as I have been criticised quite openly on a few occasions. Although my boss stood up for me as these comments were unfounded, since then I have felt tremendously vulnerable and unable to deal with situations rationally. I have gone from a successful socialiser to a paranoid person who dislikes work, but it is the only way that I get real satisfaction.
I love spending time with my children, but feel that they would be better with others as they end up being bored with me.
Basically, I'm at a loss. All the things I used to get enjoyment out of I'm now bored with and can't be bothered. I'm switched off and don't know what to do. I can't even properly describe how I feel. I feel such a failure.