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Post by angel on Jul 4, 2005 11:58:48 GMT
hi i guess i'm just trying to find somewhere that someone can understand how i'm feeling i have two children a 3 year old little boy and a 4 month little girl, and i'm so fed up with putting on a big act so that everyone thinks i'm coping really well. I cry half the time and shout at my little boy the other half. i never seem to have any time for me now i know that the kids are important but i don't thinkn i can remember who i actually am. i don't even know if i have post natal depression people have said that i had it with my first child because i did some stuff that i would never normally do. but this time it different i just feel down all the time i can't remember being really happy. is this depression?
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Post by yorkslass on Jul 4, 2005 12:14:39 GMT
First of all let me say welcome to the forum
You have found a good place to come and chat about how you are feeling, we do not judge poeple on here. We accept everyone for who they are.
It dose sound to me that you may have PND but as I am not expert just a women who has been and is still going through PND i think you should go see you GP or HV.
But do keep in touch with us and use the forum as much as you wish
Melx
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Post by angel on Jul 4, 2005 12:28:40 GMT
its really had to tell people about it i work as a nurse so i always feel that people will think i'm just being stupid as other people always seem to be fine with things what makes me so different. my GP is not the most understanding person and even my husband doesn't know how i really feel i can't tell him cause it would upset him and he wouldn't know how to deal with it. i guess i'm just frightened to tell anyone that i'm not coping as so many other people deal with things much worse than i have to.
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Post by Veritee on Jul 4, 2005 15:06:49 GMT
Dear Angel
I do so relate to what you say about having a professional role whereby people think that you must somehow know all the answers and be OK - even in your personal life.
I am not a nurse but a youth worker/teacher and worked all the time I had PNI in this role.
But this was my job - and I was good at it - but it does not mean that I did not experience personal difficulties and that I do not have PNI.
from what you said - my opinion as a survivor of this horrible illness is that you did have PNI with your first and where not fully recovered when you had your second just a few months ago.
As you will have read we think on this site, because of our experiences whereby some women who have had more than one child have had PNI for several years and even those like myself who only had one sometimes have PNI for many months and some years.
PNI lasts for some a lot longer than is often believed - I had it with one baby for about 5 years.
Many women have been in this position and when this happens you can feel much more down the next time round as in addition to not having fully recovered PNI you have had the hormone upheaval of pregnancy birth and lactation as well .
And now of course you have a small baby to look after ( and 4 months is stall very small- plus an older child.
Please do not be hard on yourself _ I think you have some to the right place.
But we are a self help group for mutual support so I have to ask you if you have been to the GP about this or your HV?
As we can be here and listen and support - but we can not diagnose what is wrong .
Many women hide the extent of their feelings even from their partners and husbands, I do not think I told mime the true extent of how I felt until I was recovered and I while after I bit I took a different course and shouted to the rooftops to anyone who would listen about my PNI . As by the time I had had it about a year and found out how taboo the true reality is about having PNI I felt I had to try and tell people as I was a youth worker and felt if I could not raise an issue I was experiencing myself - then I was not standing by the ethics I used in my work .
But until then for several months , probably over a year I hid it too.
If it is any help to you we have had several nurses on here a pediatric nurse , midwives, district nurses and CPNs . I know of one doctor and many others who were teachers, social workers, etc.
The thing abut PNI is it affects possibly as many as one in 7 women who give birth and it affects anyone whatever your profession or if you have no profession and any one in any income group, culture etc We all share one thing - we had a baby and we had or have PNI!!
So I hope you will keep posting on here and that the forum will help you to get through this awful illness
All the best
veritee
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