Why dont people understand?

[Kimmy]

I am 19 and mother to a beautiful 8month old daughter. I was diagnosed with PND at my 6week check and after thinking i could cope alone i got help and am now on anti-depressants. I have just been able to deal with what i'm going through and have started to feel confident in telling people my situation. Most are ok but i recently told an old work collegue who also has a young baby and the response was very unwelcoming. I was called an unfit mother and a schizophrenic and she has told everyone at work that i am not coping and just want attention. I wish people understand that PND is both a serious and very common illness and it takes alot of guts to attmit you need help. I took the step by telling people and this is the response i got. Does everyone think i'm a nut case?

[cheshire]

Dear Kimmy

You are not going mad. It's just that some people like to pass comment on PNI/ D before they even know what it is!!Look at Tom Cruise for example - what is he on about??!!

Like you, I plucked up the courage to tell those in contact or close to me what was wrong - as my symptoms were almost impossible to hide. I know that things that have been said to my husband since tell me that they think 'I'm just not coping' and 'isn't it a shame' and 'difficult with 2 isn't it' .

You are definitely not alone, don't worry. In fact, at the moment, I just think s*d them!!

Lots of love.

[collette]

hi there

welcome to the forum and i am sorry to hear that you had such an ignorant response to sharing this personal information about having pni.

I am pretty much recovered now and only recently started telling all and sundry what went on and on the whole the responses have been positive. However, there will always be people who don't understand and treat you like some kind of freak. it is awful and ridiculous that nowadays people still don't know the full facts about pni.

but by talking to people about it we do raise awareness and to be honest people can think what they like about me and stuff them because i can think rationally about it all now and know it was not my fault.

all my love
collette xxxx

[yoyo]

Kimmy

That's a question that all of us would love to be able to answer isn't it?! I guess it's all down to people just NOT being able to understnad what it really feels like to have PNI - all they see is a baby and a semi-healthy looking mother - it's not the true picture at all is it!! If only they could have our lives for just one day - but then we wouldn't wish this on anybody would we!

I know it very hard to do - especially on bad days as we are all prone to being too sensitive then - but try to ignore it. You know you are doing your very best in less than ideal circumstances and others would feel just the same in your situation - there are many women on here too who are going through/have been through just that sort of thing so don't let them get you down.

I don't know about you but I found it irritating and upsetting (esp on my really bad days) that people would say "ooo won't it be nice when your hormones settle down" or "it's hard work being a parent isn't it?" "How are you coping now?" "are you getting there?" "Are you getting into your routine now?" - even these were meant nicely sometimes but I just felt like screaming at them "YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE HAVE YOU!!! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS FOR ME EVEN TO GET UP IN A MORNING!!!"" but it would be of no use - how could anyone understand unless they had been there - I think even our partners and family don't really understand what we're going on about when we tell them how we feel etc.

That's where this forum comes in - there are people who DO understand, better than we think sometimes!!

You'll be just fine, don't let things get to you - you need your energy !!

[boomer2]

hi kimmy
u surely r not nuts, mad, loony or any other ridiculous name that people put on PND. i have a 20 month old son, he is the most important thing in my life, i was diagnosed with pnd when he was 2 weeks old and eventually put on medication and went for councelling. this week i took my last tablet but i am still going to councelling, believe me it really helps.
I have told family members and friends what i went thru and i have got the same response from some people as u got, but there are a lot of people out there who do care.

dont spend any enregy that u need worrying what other people say, u need all that energy for u and only u. i now understand that if i dont listen to what my body wants i am no good to anyone let alone me, so remember TAKE CARE OF U.

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF xx

[tj]

Hi Kimmy,

Your not nuts....you have guts.....

I think you should shy away from this girl at work, obviously she is ignorant to pnd. I hope she doesn't develop pnd if she has any children.

You should be really proud of yourself, you've coped extremely well, 19 years old with pnd and gone back to work...pat on the back.

You are not going nuts, unfortunately people are ignorant to pnd, although with time things are improving...

I'm 35 years old mum, two children, severe pnd with my first......I've come through it, you will do with time, your made of stronger stuff to have this silly women knock you down....

I'm proud of you

god bless
tj