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Post by kimbers1 on Aug 27, 2005 19:07:38 GMT
Hi Veritee Thanks again for your lovely words. I like to read what you have put you are very reassuring indeed. SHopping was ok yes - I am always better if I am doing something - its the times when I stop that I get the real trouble - like watching tele or laying in bed.
My mum did not get PNI she says - funnily enough I did ask her today before I went out. I would love to ask my Grandmother (on dads side) is it genetic then? My sister has had two sons and never suffered - but then my sister and I are totally different people, she doesnt let anything worry her really - she will only worry if someone doesnt like her! I on the other hand worry if I have nothing to worry about, I will start to think "things are going too well - whats going to go wrong next!" My mum said today that she has always thought I needed more looking after mentally and psychologically than my bro and sis - as apparently when I was younger I was ignored by my dad alot - used to be pushed out and she says I was always very deep - thought to much and analysed too much (still do now!). But did have a nice chat with her and it was nice to be listened to and have someone worry about me. My husbad does but he said that he doesnt think I am that depressed . Its cos I dont lie in bed staring at the wall like his idea of depression.. I do think looking back that I have had a least 2 other bouts of depression in my life but not with physical symptoms like these - but then I am older now and have had a baby. I am 30 years old and I would love to have a daughter and up till recently was planning to try next year....I think I will definately hold off for a while.
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Post by Veritee on Aug 28, 2005 7:39:04 GMT
Hi Kimbers
In answer to your question ' is PNI hereditary'
The answer is - no one as yet knows.
It is true that many women, including myself, who had PNI had mothers or grandmothers who had it too.
But PNI actually affects such a high number of women after a birth - some say 1 in 10 some thing it is as high as 1 in 7 - that it could be that statically any woman who has PNI is likely to have had a female relative who had it too. But my mother had PNI, with me, not really any of her other children born after me!
She is now blind and confused and quite old and I often say I run this site in her honor - but at other times I feel I am doing it for a woman who I knew who did not survive PNI and for many other reasons -
but I wisher someone would do the research and find out if you have more chance of getting PNI if female relatives did?
What you said about not having another baby yet struck a cord with me.
This is a difficult one isn't it? In my personal opinion I do not think anyone should let this horrible illness dictate whether they have future children - and the pattern that I have seen on here for women who have further children when they are still suffering PNI is that while they are pregnant most get relief form PNI and feel totally well again ( although they will have the usual symptoms of pregnancy ie tiredness, sickness, worry about the baby etc - but they do not have PNI.
Then after the baby is born, from what I have seen from the small group of mothers who have used this forum and had another baby before they were quite well:
about half to 3/4 get PNI again after the birth or a few weeks or months later - for the rest they never get ill again!
So it is a bit of a gamble I suppose. At least for most people you get a break form PNI while pregnant and you have a chance of it not returning afterwords.
And personally I would say - what have you got to lose as you will only be in the same position as you were before the new baby and you will have a new baby which is for life - and PNI will not be for life as it will go.
And fore warned you can put more support in palce this time and make sure your GP, midwife, husband , relatives , friends are aware you may get PNI agian and be more geered up for this.
I say this because my own experience of waiting till I was over PNI to have another baby was unfortunate and distressing.
I decided to wait until I felt completely better before trying for another - but I so much wanted another baby.
But I was not a young mum, I was in my late 30s when I had PNI and because my PNI lasted 5 years I was over 40 by the time I was better.
But I then started to have an early menopause!
So I tried desperately to have another baby at about aged 43 on wards and of course it never happened! Something that often makes me very sad even now.
I am now 53 the time when most women start menopause - but I have not had a period at all for about 9 years so there never was any chance really.
So personally I would say - do not let PNI influence your life to the degree it dictates even your family.
I have met others who did not complete their family due to PNI ( there is a woman in my village who is now in her 60s and only had one baby for this reason - she is sad about it too)
If you are younger you have more time than I did, so you can plan another baby for a few years time
and of course you have to consider all the options and if another baby is not right for you - then this is fine
But remember PNI is temporary and a child is for life
All the best
Veritee
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Post by jenny1981 on Aug 28, 2005 9:25:45 GMT
Hold off having a baby until you are well. If not you stand a much higher chance of getting anti-natal depression (depression before the birth). PNI is hormonal so getting pregnant again will mean another drastic change in your hormones. Dont rush it. At 30 you still have many years. Be kind to your body. I speak from experience. Also the closer you have your children together the more likely pni is to return. Vertiee says 1/2-3/4 get pni again when they are not fully well, if you waited until you are fully well the odds would be more in your favour, about 25%, so dont risk it.
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Post by cheshire on Aug 28, 2005 12:53:32 GMT
Hi Kimbers
I only had PNI with one of my children and my mum only had it with me (she has four children). I would be inclined to agree with Jenny above from a hormone point of view. Having said that, my mum had 2 others quickly after me and didn't get it again with either. Strange! I think also what Veritee said is good advice - forewarned is forearmed - prepare for the worst just in case..part of my big problem with PNI was that I did not know what on earth was wrong with me at the beginning. I wonder if it's easier to cope with PNI the 2nd time around?
Anyway, Just some thoughts. Take care Hopefulx
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Post by kimbers1 on Aug 29, 2005 17:34:08 GMT
Hi Girls I agree with the forewarned bit now. I think I will recognise it earlier. I went 14 months thinking I was just "stressed out" and in the end I end up with the palpitations..I am going to learn to relax now. I have never been a realaxed person - I am known to everyone as being very highly strung...with one lot of friends certain tantrums were know as "having a Kimbers". Charming ay!! I do feel alot better today as I think those tablets have kicked in now - I cant be bothered to row with my husband so they must be doing some good! Thanks again
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