Fed up!!!

[tj]

Hi all,

I'm not a new member, wasn't sure where to post this thread....anyway

Well I've recently been in hospital for a laproscophy (hope ive spelt it right), I've been experiencing bad pain in lower abdomen for sometime also bleeding, sex too painful, the consultant told me that because of c sections (two), one caused major scaring and because of this part of my uterus and bowel have fuzed, hence the pain, the only way round this is for a hysterectomy...i'm only 35...abit of a shock

I think it was the first c section was probably the one, as it was truly horrific hence partly the reason for my post natal depression, I feel as though although it's been about five years since I recovered from pnd, it still can raise it's ugly head and all those very painful memories are flooding back making me feel extremely vunerable, a place I never want to go back to.....

Men don't get it, I feel I'm the only one who is so upset at the prospect of having a hyst..., we probably wouldn't have had another child, but my choice will be taking away and part of my feminity with it..... Am I being over the top??

regards

tj

[banana]

hi tj,

i dont think you are being over the top at all. That is a huge thing to have to deal with and my heart goes out to you.

It however does not make you any less of a woman and remember that you have been blessed with 2 children. I know its hard because it's such a definate thing and that its irreversible but please dont beat yourself up over it, sometimes these things happen.

You have 2 children to enjoy, dont let what may have been ( although you say you probably wouldnt have had another ) effect your future happiness with them.

sorry if i havnt spoken very tactfully.

much love to you

lana x

[kimbers1]

I dont think you are being over the top - I would feel the same and would probably make everyone pay for it too! (not my kids - I mean my husband!)
Thinking of you

[cheshire]

Hi

You're not being over the top - you've been through a lot already and I bet you just feel like it's someone else's turn (like your husband as Kimbers says above). I got like that about PNI with my hubby, but of course they can't do their share of that one.

Hopefully we can support you on here if you start feeling really anxious again.

Take care,
Hopefulx

[Veritee]

I agree totally with what everyone else has said.

You are no way over the top.

I have not had this but at my age 53 I have supported many friends who have .

And it is devastating for a while - physically as it takes at least a month to get over but many I have to say it has taken over 6 months - but it is also a HUGE thing to cope with for so many complex reasons.

And you are as you say - very young to have to go through this. I do not think anyone does not suffer but at least if you are over 45 you can console yourself that you would have reached menopause within the next 10 years which has the same physical effect..

But you are very young to have a hysterectomy.

and it must make you at least a little angry that it is caused by your Cesarean? I mean I was angry enough that I had to have an emergency Cesarean as I think with more care it could have been avoided and it was this experience that I feel also contributed greatly to my having PNI-

but at least it did no lasting damage!

I know it does not feel any compensation just at the moment - but at least you felt you probably had completed you family.

But I agree that it is the CHOICE to decide that is the biggy here.

I can not relate to a hysterectomy but I did experience a too early menopause which essentially had the same effect of taking away the choice as to have more children and I did not feel I have with only one, completed my family.

So I do understand the pain of this and it is not to be underestimated.

However you do have to weigh this all up with the health benefits.
Although my friends who have had a hysterectomy have had many emotional issues to deal with - all of them haver felt 100% better after the op.

Some it is true do not feel 'right' unless they take HRT ( and this really depends on whether you keep your ovaries or not)

but all of them, after that had had time to recover , would not go back to how they were feeling pre hysterectomy!!

They all said that until they had th operation they did not realize how badly the problem was affecting their lives.

I know this is not much help - and I know you will have much to deal with in the coming months

But if it will help please come on here to talk to us as we would be happy to listen

All the best

Veritee

[tj]

Thanks for your messages..meant alot!!!.

Unfortunately Ive had infection due to op. since my last posting, felt pretty awful, anyway I've not made a desicion yet!!, Im seeing the consultant later in September, so I will leave it on the back burner till then.

Thank you again

tj