he cant understand

[laura87]

i have no sex drive and he's saying its cause i'm not attracted to him and that he doesnt feel like i'm his girlfriend. he cant handle it and wont believe its cause of pnd. did any1 else go through this and how can i make him understand?

[monica not logged on]

Hi

Loosing your sex drive is VERY common with PNI. Unfortunately many men take it personally and see it as evidence that you no longer find them attractive, so yo're definately not alone there.

Would he read any of the posts on here. There's quite a few about sex and lack of interest in it. Maybe if he read some of these it might help him understand. Do you still want couldles and that sort of closeness? If so, maybe tell him that for the moment that's what you'd prefer.

My health visitor also gave me a booklet on PND and in it there's abit about not wanting sex.

When I was really low with PNI, I definately went off sex as I felt so shit. This got even worse with antids, but slowly ti is returning, so you will get there.

Hope this helps

Monica

[nishka]

I have to say.. if he is being so unreasonable he needs a good kick up the backside.
Seriously, being bullied like this is not acceptable. Period.

My ex was like this and in the end this was one of the things that drove me to leave him - having one kid is exhausting enough - let alone having tw0 (husband / partner included).
You don't need this right now.
Try and get him to see a doctor with u or view these boards. What you are feeling is very normal
With love xxx

[winegirl]

Just wanted to say that I have also had no sex drive since the birth of my daughter a year ago. I think this may have been magnified by a difficult birth with forceps and lots of stitches, but mainly, the whole idea of sex is repulsive to me right now.

My OH has said that he understands, but constantly makes sexual comments and hints to me and asks if I still fancy him etc..

I can understand why a man may think we have gone off them, or even that we have got what we want from them (i.e baby), and no longer require sex. I agree that showing some of these posts to your fella may be a good idea, I will definately be doing that with my OH I think.

Take Care

Winegirl x

[caterina]

Hiya
After childbirth it's a miracle we ever have sex again! PNI kills your sex drive as do antids (well I've found that anyway and its mentioned in the info leaflet). Your OH just needs to realise that it's nothing to do with fancying him, I'm guessing that if you're like me then there's days you barely catch your breath running around after a wee one let alone be a sex goddess! It does come back, after 9 months on antids, mine is slowly but surely returning! Show your OH this post and reassure him that this too will pass xx

[amandar]

Hiya,

I have all but recovered from my pni after 3 years and my sex drive went completely, this was a combination of the antid's and the contraceptive injection. I am now off both as my OH did the decent thing and had his 'bits' done lol. We are still not swinging from the light fittings though, It takes time for the sex drive to come back. Just remember that before kids you have all the time in the world and not many stresses but when kids come along (even without the pni) things are never the same, but it does not mean that the relationship is in trouble. I thought I was abnormal until I spoke to friends with children and even they said they were lucky to have intimate moments once a week. So if you hear people bragging about their love lives and they have young children, they are probably fibbing lol

[monica]

Wow, once a week....we're lucky if it's once a month!!!!

[gizmoracer]

Other than the PNI getting in the way, hubby and I are certain there is a couple of alarms that go off when we get close. One in the kids room prompting them to decide they want to sleep in our bed and just incase they don't hear it there is one at my Mums prompting her to phone us about something trivia (Usually 'I.m getting in the bath so don't ring me').

Anyone else got this problem?

[emmievic]

my moods seem to swing from not wanting to be touched because i hate myself and my body so wouldnt want to inflict it on my hubby - to needing him close just to know he still loves me. is this normal? my hubby doesnt understand and thinks its all in my mind so i feel i have to keep him happy because i cause his so much stress with my condition.

[winegirl]

Hi Emmievic

I have spent my whole PNI experience not wnting to be touched, and have had so many discussions with my partner who thinks I just don't love him or fancy him anymore. This is not the case, and I have tried to explain to him that it is just this illess making me feel this way. I understand that this must be so difficult for him to understand and accept, but I am positive that this will pass for all of us suffering with it as PNI diminshes.

Winegirl x