Post by doodles on Nov 2, 2007 18:48:58 GMT
After reading some of the posts on here i am feeling really lucky. I have been through peaks and lows in my sex drive since having PNI but (although it has been difficult for my him) my partner has been really supportive and we have found ways to overcome difficulties and carry on having a good sex life without either of us feeling any pressure.
Some of the things we have done are things like trying to have some time to cuddle naked a few times a week. We set ground rules which said that there is no pressure to have sex and we are not to try to turn each other on deliberately. It does however often lead to us having sex, but it is much more natural and less forced than before.
We also have a book which we keep in our bedside draw, we write in it if we think of things that we would like to try out or if we just feel appreciative of each other in a sexual way and then we leave it out for the other to read, this means that there is no pressure as we can read it in our own time.
We also have a tv free night once a week where we just chat or read or play games once our son is in bed. We will sometimes use it as sexual time to try out new things or just to be close, we found that the problems of not having sex were as much about lacking any closeness as they were about a need to have sex, although it doesn't eliminate desire, if we feel we have been close my partner doesn't feel so unwanted and unloved if i feel down and don't want a sexual closeness.
I don't know if this will help anyone else but it may be worth a try, it has worked for us.
Doodles
x
Some of the things we have done are things like trying to have some time to cuddle naked a few times a week. We set ground rules which said that there is no pressure to have sex and we are not to try to turn each other on deliberately. It does however often lead to us having sex, but it is much more natural and less forced than before.
We also have a book which we keep in our bedside draw, we write in it if we think of things that we would like to try out or if we just feel appreciative of each other in a sexual way and then we leave it out for the other to read, this means that there is no pressure as we can read it in our own time.
We also have a tv free night once a week where we just chat or read or play games once our son is in bed. We will sometimes use it as sexual time to try out new things or just to be close, we found that the problems of not having sex were as much about lacking any closeness as they were about a need to have sex, although it doesn't eliminate desire, if we feel we have been close my partner doesn't feel so unwanted and unloved if i feel down and don't want a sexual closeness.
I don't know if this will help anyone else but it may be worth a try, it has worked for us.
Doodles
x
