Dreading

[mum2leahnjosh]

I am dreading having sex again. I had my little man just over 2 weeks ago and im not planning of rushing in to it.

I already have big problems with sex and now I am worried I wont please Mark the same its just not helping matters.

I really dont want or mean to offend anyone here but I have caught him a few times watching, you know, pornand he has been hiding mags to. I understand he needs to release but its making me more anxous. How do I compete with those girls, Im flabby and strech marky, there perfect. It just makes me not want to have sex even more.

At the min I have an infection in my womb so its a good excuse not have sex. Im getting better now and he is going to want to have sex soon. Im really worried. Did anyone else feel this worried after having a baby

[winegirl]

Well in 2007 my OH and I had sex twice. I am not joking. Pre pregnancy it used to be every night but something strange happened to me with PNI and now I just cant face it! However, we have been keeping things active with doing `other things' if you know what I mean, and that seems to work for us for the time being.

As it happens you should not really have sex for the first 6 weeks after giving birth, and quite frankly who the hell wants sex after 2 weeks?!!

Take your time, take it easy and see how it goes. I know your OH has needs and if you can assist him in other ways in the mean time perhaps that might help?

WG x

[tabbysmum]

Hi mum2leahnjosh, I felt the same as you, must admit never caught my oh looking at porn but I was aware that I had to do the business at some point and really didn't want to. I waited 4 months and just got it over with - no pleasure at all for me but I did feel relieved that I'd got it out of the way with. Thankfully we are back on track now since we had a night away in a hotel without the lo. I did speak to my husband about it though and made him aware how I was feeling and he was very gentle. I can honestly say that it doesn't feel any different to either of us than it did before I had Tabitha - and my husband is always brutally honest (never a good thing!) Can you speak to your oh about it?

[Jay]

Hiya

Don't entertain the thought of trying until you feel ready.
You are going to be sore and tender for a while, and if you try too soon, it will put you right off and could cause more problems later.

It amazed me in the hospital a couple of days after giving birth that someone was asking me had I thought about what contraception I was going to be using now.
I thought bl**dy hell, I can hardly sit down let alone think about sex!!!!!

Having a baby is quite an ordeal, and you need to get over it. It might all seem easy to some people. But if we had an operation or something we would not be expected to 'perform' until we were well again.
Somehow being a Mum means having the ordeal of the birth, then going home and getting straight on with things, plus the extra work of the new baby.

Don't entertain actual sex until you feel ready.
You are not well enough yet, even without your infection [which must be making you feel like crap, sorry you had to have that as well].
Explain to him that if he had an operation and did not feel well, he would not expect or want you keep pestering for sex.

I had lots of problems with sex after a trauma following the birth of my daughter, and my OH had to learn to put up with things. At the moment I can't bear to be touched at all.

We won't ever look like the girls in the porn films or mags, these are not girls who our men fall in love with.
They fall in love with us for ourselves, and our friendship,
our inner self and the love we freely give in return.

Take it easy, and take time to get well, then if you still feel the same, go and talk to a sensitive gp, so that you do not keep worrying on your own about it all. The worry alone will put you off .

Talk again about this if you want, we understand.
Take care
Jay xx

[mum2leahnjosh]

Thanks ladies

The midwife took a swab the other day she didnt use anyhing apart from the swab and I cant believe how much something so small hurt. It made my eyes water. Maybe its something to do with the infection. If I stay this sore I will never have sex again.