PNI thoughts

[owensmum75]

When I was feeling at my worst I wanted someone to take Owen away. It was very difficult to admit this in counselling but when she assured me everything was completely confidential I was able to open up to her. I had worried that if I admitted how I really felt then she may tell Social Services and really take him away. Obviously this isn't the case. Although at first I did feel somewhat ashamed of my feelings.

[sadmum39]

I cant even admit most of my feelings!
SM

[yoyo]

Tis so true!

I too felt like that and didn't tell anyone!

[yoyo]

I would wish my son was dead or that I'd miscarried when at my worst - then this shifted and I was the one wanting out!

[Jay]

My counsellor last year made it very clear at my visits that I was not allowed to talk about suicidal thoughts, or anything like that.

she told me she would contact my gp if I did. And as she taped all our sessions, I always had to watch what I said.

So when things got really bad, I could only say I was frightened, when I really meant I was suicidal. Or afterwards when I felt a bit better I could then say about how I had thought I wanted out.

If she had given me a chance to talk about some of these things I think it would have helped me.

She also one day told me I was irritating, when I queried this, she said it was becuse I was lazy. This I found out was because sometimes she would ask me something which I felt uncomfortable about, and I would answer her question by saying 'I don't know'. She never use to try to coax anything out of me, I would probably have answered if she had tried to ask differently.