ups and downs again

[Scarlet]

I just seem to be constantly yoyoing, it's so emotionally exhausting. Sometimes I feel like I'm going nutty with all this. I know it's meant to get better and the ups will probably get more and more (hopefully), but at the moment I can't see the woods for the trees. I have odd good days, but generally I'm having days where I get 5 mins here and there of normal moments, sometimes maybe an hour but then I start doubting myself and the negative thoughts come back . How do you cope with the constant yoyoing?

Also does anyone here smoke. I didn't smoke for many years but I find myself having about 5 a day now on the balcony whilst bub is asleep. Obviously hubby doesn't know else he would kill me, he's totally anti-smoking amongst other things.

[helenr]

Hey hun,

the yoyoing is blooming awful isn't it? It will get better hun, it just takes time. The only way I found I could cope was to take 1 hour at a time. If that was too long, then 1/2 hour, rather than days. It somehow doesn't seem so scary then. If you've had a bad hour, try to wipe the slate clean and concentrate on the next hour, but no further.
As you get better you can increase the times.
As for the smoking - guilty as charged!
I hadn't smoked for 11 yrs, but desperately needed them during my worst moments. It was either that, or take to the drink. I also only did it when I wasn't looking after the kids, would have a wash, change my clothes etc. I have now stopped again, although, during recent health scare, I will admit to one or two. Don't beat yourself up about it just now, concentrate on getting better, and everything else will fall into place.
love and hugs x.

[Scarlet]

Thanks Helen for that I will try that when I'm having a down time

[cinders]

Hiya Scarlet,

yes, the yoyoing is so draining isnt it?I remember them well and the feeling of complete exhaustion from them.

You are getting some good days though, which is great.

When I started getting good days I was always in a hurry for the bad days to completely disappear and felt I was running before I could walk, which didnt help.

Try and take things slowly. Enjoy the good moments and ride out the bad and then (if you can) try and forget them.

You'll find that the good days become more frequent, but it does take time. You'll get there.

Thinking of you. Love n hugs Cinders xx

[Scarlet]

Thanks Cinders, I do get good times (sometimes days, sometimes hours) trouble is I'm always anticipating the bad times will come (and they do, and it's soooo draining). I'm so impatient, one of my downfalls... oh and I overanalyse too much (another downfall).