New Medication

[Chris]

Hi,

I have just been taken off Citralipram 40 mgs tablets as although i have been on them before i was getting very sleepy this time. I am now on Mirtazapam 30mg tablets and have been since Monday (6 days ago) but today i have been very irritable with my daughter, who is a very lively 3 nearly 4 year old who is going on 15! I am also very tired.

I know it takes time for the tablets to take effect but has anyone been through this sort of medication change and how did it effect you? I am beginning to think that i am the worst mother for being like this to my daughter, i am fine with my 15 month old son which makes me feel worse!

I am also having counselling and have had 4 sessions but i feel that my counsellor is drawing my sessions out, the next one is in 3 weeks , with a view to stopping at the 6th session as she is the GPs counsellor. But it was her who suggested maybe changing my medication at the last session due to how i was feeling. I will then be left to cope on my own, I dont have a lot of confidence in my HV as when i was feeling low in November I mentioned this to another HV who said that she would pass it on to her and i still have not heard from her. Due to my past history i would have thaught that she would have least of called me.

Chris

[Newwie not logged in]

Hi,
I have had medication changes several times and i find i get very tierd some dizzy spells cant sit still and different things with different tablets, its part of the course i think of changing and it can effect different people in different ways all i can say is they do pass and hopefully this medication will be better for you.
Newwie

[Chris]

Dear Newwie,

Thanks for the reply, after 8 days I am still feeling very low, tired, my tongue is very sore as you have to suck the tablet, I am very irritable especially with my daughter and just generally out of it.

I just hope that it will start to settle down soon!

The only people I do not shout at and feel their love towards me are my son and my 3 cats. I know that sounds odd as i know in my heart of hearts that my daughter and husband do love me but i find it hard to accept. My daughters behaviour has got worse towards me and i know that it is my depression affecting her, she is nearly 4 but she is sulky,does not listen to what i say and will sometimes not answer me talking in grunts or points which winds me up. I feel so guilty about it, she can be a lovely little girl, but she is starting to show the behaviour in front of my family if i am around. I am scared that she will start it in school then questions will be asked. I do love her but it is hard for me to show it at the moment. I am also scared that i am damaging her mentally, I have tried to explain i am ill to her but she is too young to understand.

Why am i like this? She was always the special one in our lives as she was born 7.5 weeks early and was in hospital for 4 weeks (hence the start of the PNI). I do love her but as i was ill for the first year of her life with PNI i felt that i missed out on her growing up even though i didn't. Anyway i must stop going on. Hopefully the tablets will start working soon!

Love

Chris x

[yorkslass]

HI Chris

I know how you feel as I am the same with my oldest daughter who will be six tommorow Well today i supose, and have started to be the same with my youngest who is nearly three, my oldest has bad behaviour toward me and i feel that it is my fault as most of her life i have suffered with PND and am worried that the effects has got to her and she seeing my behaviour and thinks it is right. But I am doing a 12 week course about getting the best out of your child to try and help me get a better relationship with them both but more towards my oldest.

Melx

[susie]

Hi Chris,

I too understand how you feel about your daughter, I have two children, my daughter is nearly 4 and my son is 9 months, I didnt have pni with my daughter but I have had it since my son was about 2 months old.

I feel that my daughter is so confused by my behaviour as I never used to scream and yell at her and I do worry about the effects on her mentally.

I also think though ( through talking to other mums with or without pni ) that a lot of the not listening and sulks etc is a developmental stage that they would probably go through anyway with or without you being ill, although I understand that you blame yourself, I have given myself a really hard time over this one but I try to tell myself ( with my counsellors help) that was has happened is in the past, it might not have been great but I did the best I could at the time and now I need to concentrate on the present and the future and learn to deal with my daughter better again, to enable her to feel more secure and confident.

Take care

Susie
xx

[Chris]

Hi,

Thanks for replying, I have now been on the tablets for 16 days and things are seeming to get a bit easier (I hope).

When i started on the new medication i also had a blood test to see if there is anything physically wrong with me, and i now have to go for a fasting blood glucose test on Wednesday. The possiblilty of diabetes makes sense as i have been getting shakey for a few weeks now and have been tired. In a way i hope it does show up as diabetes as i will then know it is not the pni beating me down again! It will also be something that can be controlled, i am a bit worried about giving up chocolate though as i am a complete addict!

Never mind!

Chris x