Post by katiekins on Oct 24, 2007 11:57:12 GMT
My Ds was 1 just over a week ago. I have a traumatic delivery (CS under general anaesthetic) and I feel that this lead to bonding problems with my son. At the first Edinburgh Score the HV told me she was concerned about PND. I wasn't going out... the thought of doing so made me panic. I did nothing but cry and just didn't feel like I was functioning as a human being. Following this she arranged the session with the midwife counsellor and I had a birth debrief. It was great to understand what happened. She promised to call me back with answers to a few questions I had regarding whether there was a reason I could not try for a normal delivery in future and also whether there was a reason why the 6 epidural attempts failed.
Anyway, I felt much better the HV came back and was happy enough to discharge me.
I never had the response to my questions. I brought forward my return to work date to when he was 4 months old (in hindsight probably because I was so afraid of being alone with my son).
So here I am now 8 months on from that and feeling like I did in the early months. Work is stressful. We've recently moved house, been on holiday and had DS birthday (and family party).
In reality I think its been bubbling along under there all along. I love to spend time with my son - hes a joy to be with, but I panic when I'm alone with him. I cry all the time and I panic over everything. In general I just don't feel right, and I feel like a very different person to the one in the early stages of pregnancy (signed off work with stress in late stages of pregnancy).
Anyway, if I try to get help will they make me give up work?? Its a difficult subject because when I was signed off in pregnancy I was told I could not go back part time (as I wanted to, just to ease the burden) - I had to either go on sick or rip up the sick note. After 2 days off I did the latter.
My job is stressful but I love it. Right now I'm not functioning properly at it (but I don't think anyone knows), I just don't have the motivation. But to make me go home and sit alone would be a real mistake. I'd be so lonely. Equally I'd hate to take my son out of nursery and in any case having him at home would stress me out too.
HELP!!!
Anyway, I felt much better the HV came back and was happy enough to discharge me.
I never had the response to my questions. I brought forward my return to work date to when he was 4 months old (in hindsight probably because I was so afraid of being alone with my son).
So here I am now 8 months on from that and feeling like I did in the early months. Work is stressful. We've recently moved house, been on holiday and had DS birthday (and family party).
In reality I think its been bubbling along under there all along. I love to spend time with my son - hes a joy to be with, but I panic when I'm alone with him. I cry all the time and I panic over everything. In general I just don't feel right, and I feel like a very different person to the one in the early stages of pregnancy (signed off work with stress in late stages of pregnancy).
Anyway, if I try to get help will they make me give up work?? Its a difficult subject because when I was signed off in pregnancy I was told I could not go back part time (as I wanted to, just to ease the burden) - I had to either go on sick or rip up the sick note. After 2 days off I did the latter.
My job is stressful but I love it. Right now I'm not functioning properly at it (but I don't think anyone knows), I just don't have the motivation. But to make me go home and sit alone would be a real mistake. I'd be so lonely. Equally I'd hate to take my son out of nursery and in any case having him at home would stress me out too.
HELP!!!
(
