How to cope with a bully?

[chica]

Hi girls,
I am just appealing to anyone out there with older children, any advice on this situation would be appreciated.
As you may or may not know I have twins who are 6 years old, and they have loved every minute of school, (bearing in mind they start at 3 over here) that is until very recently. A new family arrived in town with 4 children 3 of which go to my childrens school. They are of Irish descent so therefore any advice on talking with the parents can be done because there is no language barrier.
It would seem that all 3 of the children can be what I can only describe as volatile, the ages are 10, 7, and 5. It is the 7 year old that seems to be the most destructive, he has already thrown a rock at my little girls head and split it open! an now this morning my little boy was refusing to go to school because of this little boy, apparently he tried strangling him yesterday in the classroom.
The father of the little boy occasionally does some work for my husband, and he has disclosed that they are aware that the children have some behavioural problems especially the little boy, who they are trying to find some councilling for (bearing in mind that we live in a foreign country, so this may not be so easy because of the language barrier).
Can anyone out there give me any advice on what to say to my children. I do not want them to be afraid. We have spoken to the head teacher who has said that she is aware of the problem, but to be honest I am not sure if she knows what to do with the family either.
Any advice would be most appreciated.
Love
Chica

[winegirl]

Hi Chica

I don't really know what to say. Perhaps you can talk to the parents some more? I suggest that you be honest with your children and explain that the children have a lot going on and just to stay polite with them. Having said that, if it were me I would be going up the wall making sure these children stayed away from mine. But from an objective point of view if these children have issues then they have to be handled with care.

Hopefully somebody else on the forum can offer you some good advice and you can get this matter sorted! Sorry wasn't much help.

Let us know how things go.

Winegirl x

[chica]

Thanks Winegirl,
I agree with you it really is difficult, I feel sorry for the children in question, but in reality I need to protect mine. We have tried to say to try and keep away from them, and to ignore them, but unfortunately they all go to a tiny school so it is very difficult to avoid them. Also unfortunately because this new family are new comers, they have not got a full grasp of the language yet (unlike my two), so they tend to look mine up because they can talk to them, but as I say the only trouble is they are all rather volatile...hubby says that if they lay one more finger on ours he will go demented. He basically will only be happy if they are not allowed to continue at this school, but I cannot see how that can happen.
Anyway thanks again for your support, I will keep you posted on the situation.
Love and hugs
Chica

[cinders]

Hiya Chica,

I know how you feel about kids being bullied. My eldest son went through this and it is a terrible time for all concerned.

My son always loved school, but when he started secondary school he was picked on, called names, kicked, his things broken etc etc....makes me want to cry just thinking about it! It got so bad he didnt want to go to school and was really withdrawn. All I can recommend is to keep going to the school about it until things get changed. Sometimes you have to really bug them to get them to listen.

Something else you could try is asking if the mum and kids want to go somewhere for the day with you and your kiddies and then see how the kids behave. If they kick off, maybe she will open up to you about her sons behaviour or at least you could then bring up the subject of the violent behaviour?

Its a tricky one, but at the end of the day we have to protect our own kids.

Good luck flower. Love n hugs Cinders xxx

[chica]

My little man seemed to stand up for himself today, he came out of school a little bit wet and muddy (we had rain last night) but the other little boy in question was a lot wetter and muddier and he complained to me that my little lad had pushed him over into a big muddy puddle ;D Really not quite sure how I should feel over this, proud on one hand that my little man stood up for himself, but a bit sad that he has had to resort to this. I am probably over reacting and that this is just a part of growing up, but still not to happy about it.
My hubby is making investigations into enrolling my two into Tai Kwan Doh (probably have not spelt it right) to try and give them more confidence to be able to look after themselves, again I am not sure how I feel about it. Will keep you all posted.
Love
Chica

[cazfletcher]

i was bullied my entire school life, and my mum recently told me how guilty she felt about allowing the school to brush her off. she said that she wishes she had kicked up merry hell. ok so these kids have a difficult background-this should not, however, be used to completely excuse their terrible behaviour, although it is a factor. just keep on at the school, give em all you got girl

investing in some self defence sounds like a good idea, as long as your children understand how to use it properly. maybe this is something you could look in to as a family?

[cazfletcher]

just wondered how things are going?