HELP!?! TERRIBLE TWOS EARLY??

[joannem]

Hi ladies
any tips here would be fab!!
J is 19 months now - going on 19 I think
He is def going through the terrible twos, TANTRUMS, HITTING, BITING - he bit my niece yesterday and had her in tears and if he cant do something or something gets taken off him well then woe is me, all of which I know is normal, not sure about the biting though.
He has loads of toys some which he will entertain but only for a short while, he just wants to be into adult things and not the toy version!!
He has a little garden set - a watering can and little trolley thing but that wasnt good he wanted our rake instead!!
Im forever saying "NO" or"PUT THAT DOWN"
Are ther any others out there like this and what the hell do you do???
he seems to get bored easy, my patience is on its knees and my nerves are frazzled.
He is good round other children and goes to nursery x2 a week ( cant afford any more) and there is no way he is getting a brother or sister!!!
Any ideas tips or anything?
Someone tell me this is a normal stage and will pass
xxxJO xxxxxx

[Scarlet]

It's a normal stage and it will pass (when he's about 18 lololol). ;D

My 10 year old was like this, but he was a saint compared to my 11 months old, who I fear is going to be a right terror (he is now).

He did go through a stage of biting, which sadly lasted until he was about 5, but I'd say the tantrum period lasted for around a year and when he started school at two and half (kindergarten), he became less boisterous, and understodd the word 'no' better, unfortunately you can't really reason with them until they get to around 4, but time passes really quickly Jo and he'll soon be playing his nintendo and locking himself in his room and won't come out. God help us

[Scarlet]

oops I forgot tips, does he have one of those little tricycle things, my son loved his trike, also kids of this age love water, what about one of those little paddling pools in the garden (when it's not raining). You could always get him a toy rake if he's aafter yours all the time. I remember getting my son at age 2 one of those little machines which shouted out the alphabet etc, oh and lego (larger ones), he played for hours with lego (it could have been minutes actually, but it gave me a break to be able to put the kettle on).

It will pass Jo hun, and the biting will stop. The way I got my son to stop biting, was I made him wash the girls arm (that he bit) and apply a plaster and apologise and after giving him a pep talk about why he shouldn't defend himself by biting he never bit again, he was 5.

[winegirl]

Just wanted to say my little girl is coming up to 15months and I have also been thinking she is facing the terrible twos early! Tantrums, screaming hitting etc... Apparently she is as good as gold at nursery but such a nightmare at home. I am hoping it is a phase she will get over (fingers crossed).

My tip is I have learned to walk away from her when she is going off on one, as I think at that age any attention good or bad is good to them, so if I ignore her she might stop doing it!

Love#

Winegirl x

[joannem]

Thanks girls that has really helped and like you say hunnybeanz just to know you are not going through it alone!!
J also does the head banging thing! -
Winegirl - and like you said apparently an angel at nursery!!
H - you dont sound like a monster mum at all, it sounds quite a sensible thing to do with the playpen (bet he screams blue murder though? I know J would)
Thanks for the tips though girls xx
Love n hugs xx

[wkm]

Jo - with the thing with wanting your stuff.....what we did was have a cupboard in the kitchen that was full of things William could play with. Pots, pans, tupperware etc. (low down obviously). This meant that whenever he started getting into our stuff we just gently moved him over to that cupboard. It also meant that he could play with our stuff without getting told 'No' all the time (which meant that when he did hear 'No' it was more effective.....most of the time!).

As for tantrums - we were lucky and didn't start getting them until a few months ago (he's 3 now) and they're still fairly few and far between. We just ignore him (providing he's safe) and do something else. No eye contact. No talking. I only intervene if I think he's gone beyond the point that he can calm himself down. But having said that, I don't know if it's different dealing with a younger child who's having a tantrum.

Rach xx

[sianyc]

OOhh tantrums. I feel like I could write a book - or at least a little pamphlet

Caitlin (almost 4) has been having then since she was about 18 months and Rhianna started then a couple of months ago too (she's almost 2)

From 18 months until about 2 and 1/2 (younger if they understand) it's sitting them down away from their toys, on their own and telling them NO. After that I used the naughty step and from about 3, Caitlin had Disney DVD's taken off her and had to get smiley face stickers to get them back. She gets stickers for eating her food on her own, not screaming and shouting, sharing her toys etc

Failing that, there's always the losing the plot and screaming like a woman possessed

Rhianna has recently started throwing herself on the floor and sobbing when she is told NO. Funny in the house and kind of mortifying in Asda

[southerngirl]

Now I am getting to know my way around on here I thought I would pop in here.
Nice to hear that I am not the only one with screaming children lol.
Easiest way to get through a tantrum is to ignore it in my experience. As long as the child isnt in any danger then leave them to it.
My 3 year old threw a right strop when his dad went to work yesterday and stood and screamed at me for 10 minutes. I ended up screaming back at him to annoy him even more. Sounds cruel but it worked as he ended up laughing at me.
Little ones tantrums are hard to cope with. My youngest is 14 months and is just starting to throw a paddy when he doesnt get his own way. With a 2 year old who does nothing but scream when she doesnt get her own way there isnt usually much peace in my house at the moment.
It sounds like everyone has some great ideas on here which even an old hand like me could use.
As for the naughty step, it works well by the time they are about 2 1/2.
Liz
x

[winegirl]

Liz - any tips with what to do with tantrms when they are only 17 months! She is too young for the naughty step, and i usually resort to distraction, but doesnt always work!

[southerngirl]

make sure they are not going to hurt themself then ignore it. A travel cot works wonders as a place to put them for safe time out.
If you ignore them and then start doing something they like eg my 1 year old loves the tubs that you make a tower with. I start building them up and the tantrum stops as he would rather knock these down than scream at me.
Do not react to them or they learn to do it for attention.
Liz
x

[winegirl]

Fab, thanks Liz! I think i need to be tougher as i normally cave and go and pich her up which makes her worse. Will def give this a go! I WILL GET THE HANG OF PARENTING - Lol!!

[cheshire]

I must admit, planned ignoring works a treat (hard tho)
Hx

[carol]

I agree - Ignore if possible. Reminds me of the time my eldest son was about 5 years old and if he didn't want to get into the car he would make a star shape by hooking his feet under the car and hang on to the door frame. The only way I could get him in was to karate chop the back of his knees so they would buckle and quickly push him in LOL Carol xoxoxox

[cheshire]

OOOoo Carol, I can just picture it!! Had to laugh at the karate chop