Leaving him at nursery

[stevensmummy]

My eldest is due to start anti-pre nursery after the summer. I had never worried about it before now but recently, since moving house he has become very much attached to me.

He panics if I'm not there. I cant even go to the toilet alone when we are at toddler etc. He wont go to his grandma and granda foe a sleepover now, he used to look forward to that and loved it very much. He isnt even too keen oin staying with my OH, but he settles after the initial leaving. He used to ask for him and daddy to go places. But not now.

My problem being, I dont want them peeling him off me and having him really distressed. I would like to start now and encourage him being without me etc to make it a little less stressful for us both.

Any advice on what to do?

cheers
Sarah xx

[littlelotty]

Hi Sarah,

How old is your eldest? When my LO went to nursery she was only little and they did introductions where I stayed with her and then I left her for a couple of hours and built it up. She has gone through phases and even though she loves it there are times when she is clinging to me and that is really hard.

When she cries when I leave I am able to wait out of sight but can hear her stop crying so it is only the initial separation thing. I also phone if I am worried during the day and ask how she has been.

The bit they need to learn is that you are coming back and in time they will but they will go through phases of being more clingy than others. A psychotherapists told me that her crying when I leave is a sign of a healthy normal attachment so just remember that.

Anyway not sure if that will help but you could start leaving him at family for a couple of hours and come back so you can build it up and he knows you are coming back.

Hope it goes well.

Littlelotty xx

[stevensmummy]

Hi little lotty, thanks for the reply.

Its so hard thinking of them screaming thier heads off isnt it?

Thanks re the normal attachment. It makes me feel a little better that i've not been too hard on him at times when I was bad with pni and now he feels like hes needing all my love for what he didnt get. Sounds silly I know, but at times I do think, wow maybe he remembers me hating him.

Think I might try the gradual approch like you say. Might also speak to the HV

Thanks xx

[winegirl]

Hi Sarah

Sorry I must have missed this thread!

My LO is VERY clingy, always has been. Cant go for a pee, get a cuppa anything without her hanging on to my legs. She is worse if I take her anywhere, wont go near anyone else!

But she has been at nursey for over a year and LOVES it! She screamed for the first 2 weeks shw was there, but after that was fine. Apparently she isnt shy all day and loves playing with the other children. It is only when i go to pick her up at night that she starts clinging to me again!

Thought sharing that might help x

WG x

[Scarlet]

Hi Sarah hun,

My problem being, I dont want them peeling him off me and having him really distressed. I would like to start now and encourage him being without me etc to make it a little less stressful for us both.

I know you don't want this stress hun, but I want you to know that it happens a lot this way. My son went to school kindergarten at 2.5 and he didn't bat an eyelid being away from me, but there were mums who had sobbing/screaming toddlers and in the end the mums had to leave them. But... as soon as the mum had been gone for 5 mins it was a different story.

Your LO will be fine after the first week and he'll love it hun...best thing you can do for himto get him in nursery/kindergarten, even if he does cry, it'll be short-lived.

Huggies

xxxxx

[cazfletcher]

yeah cavan used to play me too. as soon as the door was shut he would stop crying and run off to play, i even listened one morning to reassure myself. anyway a good nursery will always soothe your child and you will be supported too