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Post by sunflower2007 on Oct 15, 2007 10:17:09 GMT
Have been brooding over MIL. She is a taxi driver and only comes when she has a hire out our way. Which is what happened yesterday.That is not good enough for me. I need more defined boundaries and set times. I want visiting my son to be her top prioroty and not making money on the way to see him. I haven't put that into words very well but my feelings about it are complicated. I just know it feels wrong to me for her to say and do that. If she is coming to see Hubby and baby then they must come first, not some hire. It also would give us more control over when she came instead of "leaving it to the gods" if a hire takes her out this way.
There must be a reasonable way to put it to her and hubby without getting their backs up. I could suggest a specific time for her to come out or something. She has always done this and hubby accepts it. Which is fair enough for him but not for my baby. If she is as enamoured of baby as she moans about then she will make more effort.
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Post by winegirl on Oct 15, 2007 17:43:05 GMT
I would just tell her that you would like to set some structure and routine in your baby's life, therefore it would be really helpful to set up a regular schedule of when she comes to visit? Might work?
Winegirl x
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Post by sunflower2007 on Oct 16, 2007 20:43:56 GMT
Woke up knackered and with a headache. Hubby slept on the couch cos he got in about 0230am. It was a real huge effort to drag myself out of bed and do all the necessary this morning. I was actually dozing off on the couch as I gave baby his morning bottle. Couldn't get properly started today at all.
Left work early so I got home and cleaned my outside windows. A job that I should have done two weeks ago when we moved in. All the yukky cobwebs and cocoon things in the corners of the doors were quite disgusting! WIndows are a bit streaky but at least it is my streaks and not the previous owners!
Joined the library, got a few book and DVDs. Phoned about a local book club, the girl sounded quite nice. We should meet up for coffee.
There was a note on the baby's sheet today from the nursery staff saying that all the babies had had runny nappies today and it could be the start of a tummy bug. Will keep my beady eye on him and see how things are in the morning.
Felt a wee bit weepy today too. Could be fatigue and I am due my period. I have been guzzling chocolate for the past couple of days, I can smell chocolate through the biscuit tin!
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Post by cheshire on Oct 17, 2007 10:25:41 GMT
Hi Sunflower
How's things today?
Hope baby is ok - & not got the tummy bug.
Hopefulxx
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Post by monica on Oct 17, 2007 17:50:38 GMT
Hi
Hope the little man is ok. How are you today?
Monica
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Post by chica on Oct 18, 2007 9:06:57 GMT
Hi Sunflower, Hope you dont mind me popping in your diary. I just wanted to thank you for making me smile and laugh out loud, reading how you can smell chocolate through the biscuit tin ;D Have to admit to always hitting the chocolate bars too, around that time of the month. Strange isn't it.
Hope little one managed to avoid the tummy bug.
Sending love and hugs Chica
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Post by sunflower2007 on Oct 18, 2007 12:18:45 GMT
Tired today, really busy day yesterday at work and then baby got sent home from the nursery being sick, runny nappies and increased temperature. He is still gurny today not his usual happy smiley self. He has a wee pathetic cry when he is unwell and unhappy.
But I am coping looking after him. Phoned my work this morning and said he was ill and phoned the nursery saying he wouldn't be in today. He just needs a wee rest and some TLC from me.
Oh, that's him woken up again. Will finish this later.
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Post by winegirl on Oct 18, 2007 19:06:26 GMT
Hi Sunflower
Hope baby gets over his bug soon! I always panic about taking mine out of nursery as my work arent very sympathetic, but you are so right, sometimes they really need TLC from their mum x
Hope you manage to get a bit of rest in today?
Winegirl x
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Post by sunflower2007 on Oct 19, 2007 13:20:42 GMT
Need to offload but havn't had a minute to myself to log in to this site for the past couple of days.
Have to go again
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Post by winegirl on Oct 19, 2007 17:33:23 GMT
Always here listening when you get the time hun!
Winegirl x
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Post by sunflower2007 on Oct 20, 2007 16:17:16 GMT
Baby still not well. he's developed a rash over his head and body and is fine one minute then weakly crying the next. Still being sick, won't keep anything down, only a little bit if water. Phoned NHS direct this morning and after speaking to the nurse she booked us in to the out of hours service. So I raced up to the hospital, and the doc had a look a the wee man. Thinks its a viral thing even the facial rash. Prescribed antibiotics for the cough he has had for the past two weeks. Baby sleeping now. I have just cleaned up the bombsite of a house and made the dinner. Took nearly two hours. I feel really tired. I think its the come down of the adrenalin of the worry and the whole hospital thing.
What I am upset about is those friends from the wedding were on their way over and I had to cancel because I was taking the baby to hospital. They will think I am a total neurotic, either that or I was putting them off. Hopefully they will be able to come next saturday before I go firewalking.
Maybe I am not making rational decisions cos I have been getting up to the baby three times a night for the past 5 days. Had a good cry in the car on the way to and from the hospital. It must be fatigue and lack of food, I've only been eating snickers, twix and cups of tea mainly the past few days. I'll have to stop that.
Counselling tomorrow. Not sure how it will go. Hubby said was I ready for what he was going to say. He got a victim support letter from the police yesterday offering support after I hit him. As the perpetrator I didn't get a letter. Things still quite up and down with us. One minute we are fine, the next we are arguing. Everything hinges on his mood. He can talk to me however he likes and yet I can't answer back because I am mentally ill. If I do lose the rag it will be used against me. Well that's how it feels to me anyway.
Haven't spoken to or texted Mum for 11 days. Haven't really spoken to my sister or brother either. I'm too tired to make it right.
Better go, my clothes are still covered in baby sick from this morning and I haven't had time to change. I must have looked a sight at the hospital and in Sainsbury's pharmacy. I was only thinking about the baby and getting him help.
That's him woken up again. Lets see if these antibiotics work.
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Post by winegirl on Oct 20, 2007 20:10:53 GMT
Hi Sunflower
I really hope baby gets better soon hun x Poor thing x
Good look with the counselling mate, i am sure it will be fine and you will be glad to have gone. It must be really wierd for you for your hubby to have had that letter like that. Did he say much about it?
If you you dont mind me asking, what is firewalking? Am i just being dense not knowing?
Winegirl x
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Post by monica on Oct 21, 2007 13:31:25 GMT
Hi
Hope baby makes a quick recovery. You sound exhausted! Is it back to work tomorrow? I hoep you get a good night's sleep.
All the best with the counselling. I take it's for both of you? I think I mentioned before that often the presence of a third party really helps - you can both open up honestly. Hope it goes well. It does sounds to me as if you're having to walk on egg shells at the moment so hopefully things will improve re: that.
What is firewalking by the way? I'm quite curious. It sounds exciting.
All hte best
Monica
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Post by sunflower2007 on Oct 21, 2007 18:41:32 GMT
Had to go to the counselling by myself. OH got called out to work and so couldn't come. They weren't too keen for me to bring the baby but as it was my first appointment they gave me a bit more leeway.But for subsequent appointments I'll have to organise childcare. Where from I don't know. The counselling was ok. I got a lot off my chest and it was nice to have a sympathetic person sat there listening. I explained about going to alcohol counselling before with OH and that the reason why we were going today was because of my violent outbursts against him and his family. I explained that when I attacked him I lost control because he had sworn at me in his drunken stupor saying "F*** off touching my back or I'll boot you out of bed you bitch"
We talked about lots of things. Mainly his job and how trapped I felt by it and that everytime I tried to plan something he'll say in a negative tone of voice "I'm oncall" and that'll be it. He's not involved or responsible.There is nothing he can do about his job. I talked about how he speaks to me and calls me names and how he has always done that but I never noticed it so much before until the baby was born. Even tonight at the petrol station when I couldn't wind the window down on my car he called me a t**t. I told her what my mum had said about my marriage and my situation and how my family hates how he talks to me and puts me down. We talked about how I don't have my own
He has just come in and said "Christ that's not a diary, its a novel!" I've just said "it helps me" and so he replied "It doesn't help me"and has walked out the door. What can I do?
Now I've forgotten what I was saying. Ach, upshot is it felt ok to talk to the counsellor but I think I would prefer just to keep talking to my friends at work and make new friends in this new area.
Firewalking is when you walk across hot coals and release and let go of things that have been holding you back or upsetting you. Or that's what the woman told me when I booked on the night after the african drumming. It takes place next Saturday. There will be about 40 people taking part. We are all to dress up warm and wear trousers that can roll up. Tea and coffee are included. The woman who leads the session will take us through some meditation and relaxation exercises to help us get into the right frame of mind before we walk over the fire. We don't have to walk on the fire if we don't want to, we can just watch. And that's about all I know. Oh and its supposed to be a full moon!There is a guy videoing it for a fiver so I think I'll pay for that too. I'll tell you all about it after the event!!
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Post by winegirl on Oct 21, 2007 18:45:51 GMT
Hi Sunflower
Glad the counselling went well x Hope you manage to sort out childcare for your subsequent sessions x
Yes let us know how the firewalking goes. It sounds really interesting! How do you find out about something like that? Sounds fab!
Hope the rest of your week goes ok, will be in and out and will be checking in on yuo x
Winegirl x
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