kym
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Posts: 28
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Post by kym on Sept 8, 2007 19:07:41 GMT
Hey, thanks Monica. I was overreacting, totally! Which kind of sums up me at the moment anyway! He came back, and we ended up having a lovely day together. I just seem to jump at the slightest thing lately and cause an upset. F has gone to sleep well this evening after J gave him a bath, so overall a better day x
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Post by cheshire on Sept 9, 2007 14:14:37 GMT
Hi Kym Hope today was ok for you x Glad you had a lovely day yesterday Hx
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kym
New Member
Posts: 28
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Post by kym on Sept 11, 2007 8:42:19 GMT
Thank you hopeful Things are starting to look up, although J and I had a small argument- which with the way I have been feeling lately would have normally blown out of proportion-it was resolved reasonably quickly. I think I have caught this in time, I have been getting used to the meds, they are still giving me side effects, and when I first take them they make me feel a bit dizzy and mood is up and down, but it is no way near as mad as the first time I took them. Have been experiencing awful nightmares, about Jesus(I'm not religious) and poltergeists moving things in the house. Also have been getting 'hot spots' on my feet and arms which is something I have never experienced before. HV came round yday and said I seemed to be in higher spirits, and I have the counselors coming round to talk about a baby massage course. I am going to lunch today with a friend of mine who has kids exactly the same sex and age as my three, it's great to watch them all play together, and I'm actually looking forward to going out. J has decided to leave his job, he's been having problems there for a while and it's finally come to a head. This is going to put a finical strain on us, but it'll be good to have him around the house for a while. I have been looking at jobs on the internet for him, he's a carpenter so it shouldn't be too hard to find him something. Have doctor's tomorrow, see what she says about the side effects and things.
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Post by winegirl on Sept 11, 2007 11:08:06 GMT
Hi Kym
Just wanted to say I hope you have a nice time with your friend today, and hope all goes well at the gp's tomorrow. Side effects of meds stink, buthopefully they will wear off in the next few days for you.
Good luck with job hunting for J too!
Winegirl x
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kym
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Posts: 28
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Post by kym on Sept 12, 2007 12:17:12 GMT
Well, turned up at dr surgery this morning, even arranged for someone to pick up my daughter from nursery as the times clashed. When I got there, they couldn't find me on the computer today, it turns out I'm booked in for tomorrow.... Oh wheres my head?
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Post by winegirl on Sept 12, 2007 12:32:48 GMT
Hi Kym
I had to ring twice this week to check my gp appt as I kep forgetting! Theres jsut so much to think about all the time isn't there? I hope the appt goes well tomorrow, let us know how you get on x
Winegirl x
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kym
New Member
Posts: 28
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Post by kym on Sept 13, 2007 16:37:44 GMT
Spoke to doc about all the side effects, she had a look through my old notes(I lived in a different town when I was on the meds before, different doc) and decided to change the meds to Citalpram which she said she would have started me off on first, but as I mentioned the Venlafaxine, she did them first. So I am not taking anything for 2 days then I'm to start the Citalopram. I have to go back to her in 2 weeks, see how it is. Went out for lunch the other day which was really nice, laughed liked I haven't done for ages. Was supposed to go out again today to a mum and baby group but cancelled coz it was really hot and I knew walking there in that heat would have stressed me out so I avoided the situation altogether.
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Post by winegirl on Sept 13, 2007 18:52:50 GMT
Hi Kym
I hope the Citalopram works for you hun! Glad you had a nice lunch out the other day, I think doind things that makes us feel a bit more human again really helps recovery x
Let us know how you get on with the new meds - will be thinking of you x
Winegirl x
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kym
New Member
Posts: 28
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Post by kym on Sept 14, 2007 13:07:09 GMT
So didn't take any meds last night because like I said in the last post I am supposed to wait 2 days. And I felt awful, really down again, I hadn't realised they were doing such a good job before! So of course, I was feeling crap and J and I argued, I ended up sitting up crying in bed. for no apparant reason. Doc has only given me 14 tabs enough for 2 weeks and they came in a different box with no leaflet so I have just googled it and it says it can take 2-4 weeks to start working. God I feel awful today, horrible anxiety worrying about everything. The eldest 2 are going to their dads tonight and J is going to watch football tomorrow and I'm feeling nervous about being on my own with the baby all day. J has been hinting about going to the pub before watching football and we had a few problems in the past with his drinking and his temper, since then he hasn't gone out to the pub and I don't think I could handle the anxiety of him being there wondering what is going to happen when he gets home. I know if I told him this he would respect my wishes and not go but I don't want him to feel he is being trapped by me. Awful awful day
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Post by winegirl on Sept 14, 2007 13:09:34 GMT
Hi Kym
Sorry you are having a crap day hun. Have you got anyone who can come over and spend some time with you tomorrow? Or you could try breaking your day up into segments, thats what I do when I am on my own all day with baby.
Will be around on and off if you need some support tomorrow x
Winegirl x
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kym
New Member
Posts: 28
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Post by kym on Sept 25, 2007 15:14:18 GMT
Well haven't been online for a while and have certainly had a few ups and downs in the last week. But overall starting to feel better. The meds took a while to work, and last night J said it was good to have me back, although I don't feel I'm my old self again yet. Still extremly insecure, especially about my body, although I am slim, I still have a jelly belly and my boobs have gone to pot. This sort of thing wouldn't normally bother me but it becoming almost an obsession. Talking to J is also really hard, a couple of times I have tried to talk to him about things, twice he fell asleep on me ok we were in bed but this is the only time theres no kids, no t.v no nothing. And other times when I have tried to talk about my insecurities he has dismissed them. Not willingly I suppose, but it's made me reluctant to talk to him. Also, the post natal councellor doesn't have a time slot that is convienient for me, it's only at tea time, I have to do dinner, she has put me on the waiting list and my HV has referred me to the practice councellor. The PN councellor came to visit and talk to me about baby massage(which i went to today) and within 5 mins she had me talking about everything so I think I probably need it. Went out to dinner with my friend who is also suffering bad from pnd but her partner isn't as helpful as J and I'm worried I have upset her with talking about how great he can be..not meaning to hurt her but talking about my experiences and days. Probably worrying too much. Have the doc again on thursday so may ask her to up the meds slightly because although I am getting there it's not MUCH better.
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Post by monica on Sept 25, 2007 17:48:24 GMT
Glad things are getting a bit better for you - your oh seems to think so , too. Chekc out the meds situation as I was initially on a low dose of citalopram and it got to a point where it wasnt' working . I found out later that that dose is rarely effective, so perhaps it could be the same for you.
RE: body, try not to worry too much - it does take a while for most women to get back to their original figure. Why not try some sit ups or soemthing simialr to tone up - even a few regularly can make a difference. I know it can be a symptoms of PNI to get quite obsessed about certain things. Hopefully, the better you get the less these type of things will bother you if you see what I mean.
Your PN counsellor sounds quite good. i wish I'd had it when I needed it (had to wait 2 years!).
Take care
Monica
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kym
New Member
Posts: 28
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Post by kym on Oct 1, 2007 15:55:09 GMT
Dr has upped my dose to 20mg and they are making me feel quite sleepy, and have had a few ups and downs this week. Had a big arguement with J yesterday..about something small that got massily out of hand and I was packing my bags ready to walk out on everyone..but before all that when I just wasn't getting anywhere with him when trying to sort things out, I was really angry and hurting and I went downstairs and cut my arm. Gutted that I gave into those feelings of self harm again. Eventually we sorted things out and went round the shops to get some bits and in the car on the way home I was looking at bridges and wondering what it would be like to jump off, straight into a moving car. Not to say that I would do this as I don't think I would but these thoughts are disturbing me..if I told J he would be disturbed too!! F was sleeping through the night at one point but he has been waking a lot again, he's getting teeth, although he is only 3 months old..so hes groggy. J says he feels hes walking on egg shells again..so gone backwards this week
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Post by winegirl on Oct 2, 2007 9:50:32 GMT
Hi Kym
Hopefully this is just a blip hun and the increased dosage will sort you out. Perhaps you should talk to your GP/HV about how you have been feeling again to see if they can offer you any further support?
In the meantime we are here for you hun so keep talking x
Winegirl x
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kym
New Member
Posts: 28
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Post by kym on Oct 18, 2007 10:34:29 GMT
Saw the counsellor for the first time yday, she was lovely..it was kind of an assessment session and at the end she said to me 'my sessions are normally for 6 weeks, so we will do 6 weeks initially, but I think overall you need long term counselling' J is really worried by that but I explained to him it's probably because I have quite a long history..things in my past, childhood that needs to be delt with too. I was given an assessment sheet to fill in before my next session, with random questions on. J picked it up and was reading through them He said 'this sheet of paper could get you sectioned, some of the questions in here are wrong..this one..have you thought of harming yourself..if you were doing that you should be locked in a padded cell' I didn't know what to say 'would you leave me if I had done that?' he said 'yeh, you've definatly lost it if you start doing that..you haven't have you?' Of course I couldn't say yes.. But other than that I have been generally better, it's only when something triggers me off..I get to this horrible place where I can't seem to get out. Going out tomorrow night with J so looking forward to that.
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