twinkles diary

[twinkle]

ok ive had PNI for about 3 weeks now my relationship is suffering,our kids are suffering because mummy cant give them 100%.
i have tried these past 2 days to ignore the panicky feeling in my chest every morning when i wake,i dont want to get my eldest ready for school but i have been. ive been checking my partners emails convinced he is cheating on me when rationally i know he isnt! hes getting so fed up with me checkinghis phone and emails il lose him soon if i dont stop,i just keep reading things over and over and over trying to comprehend what im reading, I WISH I COULD STOP! 2 days i never checked and today i have as im feeling all lost and confused again i just want to curl up and go to sleep till this passes i feel like just upping and leaving the kids but my partner is away working so i cant do that! i feel so angry for getting PNI again i feel so vulnerable,scared.yesterday i was doing my cleaning thinking and feeling myself but today totally different!
im so glad i found this site,as i wont go to a group!
i feel the need to check my partners emails again! its a vicious circle i check, find something i dont like,go off on 1 when all i was looking for was reassurence!
i feel like ive got OCD WHEN I FEEL INSECURE!

[winegirl]

Hi Twinkle

Hope you don't mind me writing in your diary?

I think PNI makes us very insecure, hence you feel the need to contantly chech up on OH. But that will pass as you start to recover. I know what it is like to wake up with the panic in yor chest every morning, and i have found the best way to deal with it is just to get on and do stuff. Its hard work, but it seems to pass quicker.

I hope today has got better for you?

Winegirl x