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Post by cokey on Aug 12, 2008 19:04:22 GMT
Hi Claire
Glad you are feeling better. Its very scary to have blips because we don't want to feel like we did but they are just that and they pass. We get through them each and every time.
Cokey xxx
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Post by justme31 on Aug 21, 2008 9:52:31 GMT
just came on to update my diary...feels like I havent been on for ages!! I have been feelin relatively well over the last week or so......came on last week and although I am having a bit of a blip at the moment it is nothin compared to what I was going through a few months ago. The last few days I have had a few thoughts and am soooooo bad tempered but am keepin myself busy and I feel like I can cope with how I feel. Hopefully the worse of the illness is now over! I hope that everyone else is ok Cokey, WG , TM and Elspeth....Hope u r all doing well. Take care Claire xxx
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Post by winegirl on Aug 21, 2008 9:55:02 GMT
Hi Claire
Yipee! Thats great news hun - onwards and upwards is the way for you to go now xx
I am soo pleased for you, knowing how hard things were for you a few months ago you are almost transformed! Well done on not being beaten!!
Look after yourself
WG xx
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Post by cokey on Aug 21, 2008 10:11:53 GMT
Hi Claire
I am so pleased you are feeling better. I think you hsve hit the nail on the head with the fact we may have off days/blips but nothing like a few months ago.
Speak soon.
Cokey xxx
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Post by justme31 on Sept 3, 2008 7:13:25 GMT
Just popped in to update my diary.....I have been so much better the last few weeks.....been getting on with things and not really thinkin about PNI(a sure sign that things r better cos when I am bad it plays on my mind 24/7. Am a bit blippy at the moment a few irrational thoughts but am just tryna ignore them but am getting peed off with it.......it like u start to think yeah and deffo getting better then it hits u again! The kids went back to school yesterday(daughters 1st day at high school sob!!)...anyways dunno if this has made me go into a bit of a blip as have really had a good holiday with them and I miss them so much when they at school........how sad am i?!! I hope u r all doing ok..... How r u Cokey,TM and WG?
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Post by winegirl on Sept 3, 2008 7:24:26 GMT
Hi JM
Great to hear from you and so pleased you have been doing so much better!
Yeah, if you ar efeeling a bit down about missing the kids then it probably has caused a bit of a blip, but you know that it will pass, and you are clearly doing really well at ignoring the thoughts!
It is lovely to hear from you and to keep us updated - look after yourself!!
WG xx
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Post by tabbysmum on Sept 3, 2008 16:43:39 GMT
Hi JM
Was only thinking earlier you hadn't been on for ages, I'm blipping at the minute too, and Cokey - don't you just love it!
Take Care
TM x
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Post by cokey on Sept 4, 2008 8:13:38 GMT
BLIP BLIP BLIP! Its contagious! lol
Sorry you ain't so good Claire but it will be because your kids are back at school. I think mine may be to do with Michael starting school on Monday.
Keep up the good work though because blips are better than what we had before and they soon pass.
Cokey xxx
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Post by justme31 on Sept 8, 2008 8:21:54 GMT
Hi all Well am still having a Major blip which is pissing me right off. I feel like I can deal with the feelin down being depressed anxious etc but am still having a hard time dealin with the thoughts. Have managed to convince myself over thelast week that am suffering from some kinda pyschotic illness and that what I really have ths time and had last time is pyschosis rather then OCD! I have terrible obssessive thoughts that am gunna start hearin things/seein things...it at the point where am creating things in my mind and tryna convince myself that I really have lost it now. Also have started gettin the harmin thoughts and that blowing my brain because this is the 1st time I have had then this bad this time around........I had them bad with the PNI before and I forgotten how awful they are. Am scared to be alone at the moment with the kids and even with our pets just in case I go mad and hurt them.....My OH isnt that busy at work at the moment so thats helping because am not on my own that much. Will this illness ever bloody end...its like 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. Am Due on this week so am puttin the fact that this has all came back so bad down to that....am hopin so. Anyways nuff of my ramblings lol Hope u r all ok Cokey,WG and TM Claire xx
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Post by tabbysmum on Sept 8, 2008 8:31:12 GMT
Hi JM
So sorry you're feeling so shitty, you have my sympathies, the harm thoughts are just awful. I too have had the thoughts about my cat which I know to other people might sound funny but it's horrible. When I went through this before I had a dog and 3 cats and I couldn't be alone with any of them. I also know what you mean about trying to convince yourself you're hearing things etc. I couldn't even watch Only Fools & Horses the other day because of the references to Damian being the Omen, it's just ridiculous, I know it's ridiculous, you know it's ridiculous, it's OCD. I was talking to a counsellor the other day and he said OCD is like you're constantly daring and teasing and taunting yourself and that's what it is, we're are doing this to ourselves - now that is madness! You'll get through it, we always do, you'll start feeling bored with it at some point, I'm so bored with mine - although it's not stopped them!
Take care hun
L x
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Post by cokey on Sept 8, 2008 8:44:42 GMT
Gosh Ladies, if ever we needed evidence that this is PNI with PCD it lies in the fact we all share the same thoughts and fears.
I have been okay with my cats with PNI but in my early 20s I had a really bad fear I would strangle my littlest cat. I didnt realise it was OCD at the time, so it was very scary. Actually I imagine 80% of people have had that thought but most people don't worry they had it and carry on regardless.
The harm one is by far the worst in my mind. Its your worst fear. However, it is the most common.
I would also have struggled watching that only fools and horses episode.
I also have the fear I am psychotic really or this will lead to psychosis - again another really common OCD.
Stupidly the fact we have OCD means we are the least likely (impossibly even) to get psychosis and there is zero chance we would ever act on our thoughts. So ina sense we are lucky.
It will be your time of the month causing the thoughts JM, hang on in there, it will soon pass.
Cokey xxx
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Post by winegirl on Sept 8, 2008 9:36:02 GMT
Hi Claire
Definately time of the months blip. Hang in there and it will pass. You know the drill. You are not mad just hormones going nuts and messing with you head babes.
You know we are here for you hun. You have been doing so well and the blips always make it feel like square one again, but it isnt. Its just the ups and downs.
Hang in there mate...
Sending you hugs (())
WG xx
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Post by justme31 on Sept 9, 2008 9:53:30 GMT
Hi all Totally know what u mean about being bored of the thoughts TM.....I am like that....I think sometimes I wish i could just go mad then my worse fear is over and done with. Am glad am not the only one with the harmin pets thought Cokey...its awful i was scared to let the rabbits out yesterday cos keep thinkin i was gunna bang them on the head with something. The thoughts r awful and even though i know i aint the only one with them i always think does anyone else get the same mad thoughts that I do!! Yesterday was a terrible day for me.......am gunna give u an example of how mad my thoughts r lol....I went t Tescos last night....I waited in the car whilst my OH went in cos i felt like shit....anyways am sitting in the car and I start panicking cos am gettin thoughts and worrying that am gunna get outa the car and hit someone or that am guna walk into the main road beside tescos and kill myself. I was in such a state i was in the car praying for my OH to come out cos I didnt feel safe....is that not mad or does anyone else get all these mad thoughts?! hope yous are all ok today Cokey,TM and WG Claire xx
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Post by cokey on Sept 9, 2008 16:07:22 GMT
Hi Claire
Can you remember my crazy thoughts when I went to the Lakes? Just like your road one, I could see a motorway about a mile from our lodge and I had an awful weekend freaking out, had the runs, just felt desperate because I thought I was going to walk over a stream, barbed wire fences, into a cow field and onto the motorway! Now I think, how ridiculous.
I guess its just the brain throwing up every option for harm coming to us or the things we love all the time but its shit.
Dont' worry, my thoughts have been well weird at times.
Cokey xxx
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Post by justme31 on Sept 11, 2008 7:17:06 GMT
Glad I aint the only one Cokey!!! Have had some proper strange obssessive thoughts. Am still in the midst of some kinda blip....I started my time of the month 2 days ago so guess that explains why am feeling so shit at the moment. The obssessive thoughts seem to have calmed down a bit but at the moment I just keep crying and thinkin about ending it all. The only thing that is keeping me going at the moment is the fact that I have kids and also that I know that in a few days time I will feel better. Changing the subject......I really need to rant about my OH....am coming to the conclusion that he might b half my problem and am seriously thinkin about giving up on the relationship. Even when I am well and not having a blip, I feel like he is one of these people that always feels the need to bring other people down........hes not happy unless he moaning about something. I have been ok for weeks now apart from what going on at the moment..... I had an off day yesterday and spent most of it crying and tellin him that when am like this I just need to feel like he is supportin me and gives a shit...... his reaction was to shout in my face that I am a bitch, that I am selfish and that he is fed up with this shit!! nice eh. He says am like this every couple of weeks...maybe I am but i need some support...instead he tells me Go get some fking help cos he fed up with it and hes fed up with me always crying.....1st time i have cried in weeks was yesterday!! Anyways am startin to feel like I hate him and that I would be better off alone. Rant over lol Hope u r all ok xxxx
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