|
Post by justme31 on Jul 18, 2008 8:29:18 GMT
Hi Cokey, Elspeth,MD and all else.. LOL at us gripeing about our men!!! We should start a thread entitled the dumb things men say and do...............My entry for the day would be as follows: My OHs saying for the week is oh is it that time of the month..... yesterday I asked him to take a cup to the kitchen ...his reply is it that time of the month lol yeah it is but i still wana the cup taken out!!! And another thing he says to me yesterday is that once a month I tell him to leave.....My Reply why the fk u still here then?!!!! In all seriousness though girls I sometimes wonder if life and dealing with the PNI would b easier if i was single..anyone else feel like that?
|
|
|
Post by cokey on Jul 18, 2008 8:56:58 GMT
hell yeah!!!! Melinda Messenger said she blamed a lot on her husband but subsequently thouht it was he PNI and not him - she has since split wih him lol - guess it was partly him after all.
Its little things for me like when i have been literally terrified to be alone, he has gone to the pub or to football regardless. I would never have left him (and know from experience).
They are shits. LOL
Cokey xxx
|
|
elspeth
Full member
Mum of 4, aged 15,10,3 and 6mths
Posts: 90
|
Post by elspeth on Jul 18, 2008 10:39:44 GMT
The last time my hubby left me alone when I was having an attack , I ended up driving around for 3 hours trying to find him with 2 kids in the car and when I found him i ran off and left him with the car and kids. He was so freaked by it, mind you so was I - it was that particular episode that made me go and tell the HV how I felt.
As for being single - I got PNI with my second when I was a single mum, the only advantage was there was no man to wind me up! But it also meant I really was the only one to look after the kids. And cos I was single I not only plotted how to kill myself but the kdis too as there was noone to care for them, thats when I got help. A part of me knew it wasnt right.
xx
|
|
|
Post by justme31 on Jul 18, 2008 11:31:52 GMT
yeah I know what u mean Cokey...its like they just piss off out and leave u to it and u terrified to b alone.......thats just bought back memories actually.....remember when I 1st found this site back in February and was scared to b alone and to go out.....makes u think though dont it that we are improving, just sometimes its hard to c it. Anyways back to what I was sayin about men leaving us alone and going out....My oh always asks when am panickin/dont wana b alone etc what u scared of? erm I dunno I just think if u go out and gunna die or go mad or something lol its mental innit!? Elspeth u sound like u r suffering very bad with the PNI at the moment.....u look like u have ya hands full too with kids! Has your HV refered u to a doctor or got u any support? I hope so because there is help out then hun its just sometimes u have to fight to get it. In regards to being single I can so relate to what u said about being single....I was in a similar situation when i had the PNI last time(my partner left me when my daughter was 6 months old and I was very ill with the PNI), My fear was always who was guna look after the kids when I went mad....I thought I was insane(still do)! Anyways everything snowballed for a year after he left and I ended up in hospital.....I didnt care cos I was so ill I just wanted to die but was so scared for my kids and who was gunna look after them etc. Its good not to b single now for that reason as I know that if anything did happen my OH would look after the kids(he useful for something lol). I did get better though Elspeth and u will too...its just takes a while and I know that sometimes it doesnt feel like u ever will but thats all part of the illness. Everyone on here is brilliant with supporin each other so keep talkin to us we will support u all the way. Take care xx Claire
|
|
elspeth
Full member
Mum of 4, aged 15,10,3 and 6mths
Posts: 90
|
Post by elspeth on Jul 18, 2008 12:11:00 GMT
HI Claire; that particular episode was last saturday :S I it was the week before that I had a similar one that made me goto the HV - I get confused at the mo. She referred me to a social worker who is actually a councellor - I saw her for the first time on Wed, I see her again a week on thurs and this thurs I start going to a PND group.
I know what you mean about insane - I am still convinced I am its too hard to explain, im off to bed now - I will write my diary in the morning take care
E xx
|
|
|
Post by mummydonna on Jul 18, 2008 21:20:49 GMT
bloody men!!!!!!!
mind u you have to laught at their stupidity don't we JM?...one of the funnist things mine ever said was wen i was 30 odd weeks pregnant and we were about to have sex..... "i'm gonna prop you up like Jabba the Hut!"
needless to say, we didn't have sex after that corker!!!!!!
plums, wonder how they'd survive without us!
oh the other show stopper was: "isn't it funny about womens tits...one is always bigger than the other"
love MD
|
|
|
Post by justme31 on Jul 22, 2008 8:10:57 GMT
Lol MD I know it aint funny but sometimes I have to laugh at mens stupidity. Another of my OH favourite sayin is are u going out dressed like that...erm yes I am unless I just got dressed to sit round the house!!!! Am just updating my diary as I havent done it for a few days. Well girls I come on over the weekend...a few panics and thoughts over the last few days but nothing major and have gotta say am feelin pretty well at the moment which surprised me cos I was thinkin time of the month means major blip normally. Am thinkin that the reason I am feelin quite well is because this month is the 1st month that I have taken my antids properly.....normally I miss about 3 days on them a week!! Anyways just wanted to say hang on in there girls cos there is a light at the end of the long PNI tunnel and am thinkin that am finally starting to c it. Hope u all r ok Claire xx
|
|
|
Post by cokey on Jul 22, 2008 8:32:42 GMT
Hi Claire
Thats good you are okay this month - me too - seeing as we are PNi twins its no surprise. I think the PMT just readjusts to normal levels eventually which is good because usually it leaves us shaken up for a while.
Cokey xxx
|
|
|
Post by justme31 on Jul 25, 2008 9:11:06 GMT
Have just read what I wrote on here a couple of days ago and god how things have changed! Am having some kind of major blip at the moment....am spaced out cant think straight and am so irritable and the obssessive thoughts are almost constant at the moment. I dunno what happened I was feelin so well then yesterday bang this had hit me again and I feel like I am back to square one. I dont think the people around me eg OH and mates r helpin at the moment they just seem to b adding to the way I feel. Spent the whole day yesterday arguin with OH....he makes me feel like shit and when I tell him how I feel he calls me paranoid and says am mad...helpful eh?! What happened yesterday was this and feel free to tell me if am a nut nut or if u guys can see where I am coming from....Since having the PNI and being on the antids I have put on 3 stone.....probably due to doing less and eatin crap!! Anyways in the last few months I feel like my OH doesnt wana take me with him when he goes to c his mates/family etc...he goes out all the time and when his mates r there I never get invited and they never get bought round the house.....I bought this upto him yesterday because I feel like the issue is that I have gained weight and he is embarrassed for his mates to c me now! Anyways He says I am paranoid and mad and now am questionin if I am....this never used to b an issue B4 he would always invite people here and invite me to go with him so I dont think am being paranoid. Also I tried talkin to my mate yesterday about the PNI and because I was feeling shit.....her advice "u need to get out more its not doing u no good being in the house and that I never used to b like this"...that made me feel even more shit sometimes I dont wana go to the pub etc with her and she makes me feel like because of this I am so different to the way I used to b which I feel hurt about. Yesterday I was just sittin in the bedroom crying and thinkin up ways I could do away with myself cos I dunno how long I can carry on with feelin like this, then i get scared cos i think what about if i just lose control and kill myself ....I know things have been a lot better but now when a blip hits me its like I can see no way outta feeelin how bad I feel at the moment. Anyways that my rant over!! hope u all r ok xxxxx
|
|
elspeth
Full member
Mum of 4, aged 15,10,3 and 6mths
Posts: 90
|
Post by elspeth on Jul 25, 2008 9:42:19 GMT
*virtual hugs*
Sometimes people just dont get how we feel eh! One reason why I havn't told many people is I know they will have no idea what I am talking about with regards to how I am feeling. Its crap really, at least you know we can hear what you are on about xx
|
|
|
Post by cokey on Jul 25, 2008 16:55:39 GMT
Hi JM
Gosh it is so hard for us to go out and do the stuff we used to love. People don't have the first clue. On one hand its hard for them to understand and on the other it doesnt bloody help us.
The good thing is your thoughts about ending it are classic OCD. That was my main obsession, as soon as I felt low and thought popped in my head (it happens to everyone not just ladies with PNI) we then freak out and thing what if I lose control etc etc. That means you never would. Its entirely different to someone who plans and does. So you are safe.
The way you are feeling (by the way most people put loads of weight on with meds, its them not your eating) is normal also for the time of the month remember. I am sure your OH is not embarrassed of your weight at all (men don't see us that way, its women who worry) but more likely he feels it would be strain on both of you to socialise as much because of your mood. I for one am not as jolly, easygoing etc right now and he may feel its easier until you are better not to push you.
Having said all that, men are all shits anyway lol
Your blip is hormone related, hang on in there, its nearly over for another month.
Cokey xxx
|
|
|
Post by justme31 on Jul 29, 2008 10:39:16 GMT
just come on here for a vent.........I feel like screaming...am thinkin is this illlness ever gunna piss off! The last few days have been hell and this blip dont seem to b going away. Feel like my brain is not workin properly am confused, cant think straight and feel really spaced out and the obssessive thoughts are constant at the moment. I know I am bad at the moment cos am googlin like crazy all kinds of mental illnesses and convincing myself I have them!! Am back to obssessing about having schizophenia and thinkin nah this aint depression/anxiety am schizo and no one had realised. Have even managed to convince myself today that I have voices in my head(rationally i know this is stupid and one of my obssessive thoughts and that am creating things in my head myself cos have had this b4 and it only happens when i think about it) lol u guys must think that I am right off my head! I just want this all to go away.
|
|
elspeth
Full member
Mum of 4, aged 15,10,3 and 6mths
Posts: 90
|
Post by elspeth on Jul 29, 2008 12:01:35 GMT
I was thinking something very similar earlier about this bloody illness I am so sick of it all, but like you said before its just a blip.
And I dont think your off yer head (ive not heard that phrase for years btw) E xx
|
|
|
Post by cokey on Jul 29, 2008 12:17:30 GMT
JM - u considered going to GP and asking him to change your meds? Littlelotty had hers changed after a long time and it made such a big difference to her.
Just a thought.
Sorry you are having a blip. It will all come right but its just time. You have been through so much, just keep at it and your day will come.
You know where I am.
Cokey xxx
|
|
|
Post by justme31 on Jul 29, 2008 17:35:04 GMT
We all say off ya head round here Elspeth must b a commoner thing lol!!!! Am hoping this is just a blip cos am really really struggling at the moment. I dont wana go to the GP Cokey...well dont mind the gp or the shrink its just the meds I dont want! It was so hard for me to take the meds in the 1st place....my anxiety was through the roof so I dont wana start on another lot....just thinkin about changing them makes me panic. I think what about if new ones make me worse or I come off the ones I am on now and I go completely insane or something!! I dunno what to do.....I try to convince myself that this is or gunna go away but is it? am I ever gunna b me again? At the moment am thinkin this is it now this is how i gunna feel forever.... Am fed up with it all.
|
|