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Post by winegirl on Apr 18, 2008 20:52:17 GMT
Hi Anne Marie
Sorry you have been suffering today hun. Hope it is just a blip for you x
Enjoy the next few days with your sister babes - make the most of it xx
Take Care
WG x
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Post by sianyc on Apr 19, 2008 15:56:24 GMT
I found it hardest to tell the people I was closest to. Strangers fine but my family no way. Gary had to do it for me.
My youngest sister (I have 2) didn't know how bad I was until her and her boyf came to stay for 5 days and after 2 days I freaked about the state of the house. I went right off on one with her, really having a go about how lazy she was and how little she was doing to help me etc. Bizarrely, after I'd calmed down (about 3 hours later!) she was much better at understanding what was going on in my head than I thought. She also organised it so my dad and stepmum started popping in more often and were offering to have the kids overnight. I'd always been the big sister, ever capable, never unable to cope, fit for anyone etc. I hadn't wanted to let on I wasn't this person anymore - I still wanted to be the big sister I suppose. That little girl who would sort the bullies out if they picked on her little sisters!
Don't be scared of talking to her about how you really are. She may be the best support you could have x
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Post by littlelotty on Apr 20, 2008 12:23:31 GMT
Hi Ann-marie
I can totally understand what you are thinking and feeling. I too go mad on cleaning and it is like someone has taken over my body and I just can't stop. Trouble is I get really tired after a day like that.
I am glad your health visitor is supportive - it is good to hear that. Mine too is nice and supportive.
I seem to have similar triggers to you. My big one is my menstrual cycle and that seems to throw me back a bit. I have started to dread it but I am learning what I can and can't do now. I don't like new people coming around or going out to new environments or back to past friends etc. My family too is a big mess and one that my counselling is trying to sort out.
It sounds like you are doing well though and we are all here for you. I would be lost without this site now!
I hope you have had a good day yesterday and today.
Take Care
LittleLotty xx
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annmarie
New Member
mum to a little boy 20 months and a little girl 5 1/2 months
Posts: 14
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Post by annmarie on Apr 26, 2008 20:38:57 GMT
Had a few bad days, have been feeling quite edgy recently, I think it's because I saw my mum on monday when she came to pick my sister up, when she was here I had to go to the GP and pick up my prescription for my AD's . She asked why I was going to the DRs and I just said womens things, she thought I was pregnant again because I wouldn't tell her what it was all about, my sister has told me that she has asked why I went but she told her she didn't know. I don't want her know, especially when she is one of the triggers. She thinks we are close but we're not we never have been. I am dissapointed with myself because I have been taking a diazipam when I have felt the need, my head just feels like a total mess sometimes! I have been having a lot of headaches recently, and been feeling extremely tired. to make things worse my AD's make me sweat loads. I am hoping that all headaches ect are down to my menstrual cycle, yes I am dealing with that trigger too!!! Good thing is I have been making alot of friends recently, which I think will help boost my confidence so I can go out and about more often. I find that I am fine going out if I am with someone else but the idea of going out just by myself makes me panic. I have been playing with my babies alot more recently, in all honesty the feelings I was having torwards them before I started my AD's have completely gone, I feel so much more relaxed with them both. Maybe thats why I am getting so many headaches. I feel like I am talking nonsense half the time, I just want to get all thats crammed in my head out! I hate having ups then downs then ups then downs again I just want to be at a constant okay, if you know what I mean?!
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Post by winegirl on Apr 27, 2008 9:24:44 GMT
Hi Annemarie
I suffer with the sweats from the drugs too, mainly at night time. I can be absolutely frozen but still wake up drenched (not pleasant).
Great that you have been making more friends. Getting out and about does get easier. I never thought I would be able to go out without thinking about it but I do now!
Hang in there babes, you are definately on the road hun xx
WG x
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Post by bam02 on Apr 29, 2008 21:22:25 GMT
Hi name is Anne-Marie,
I have older children 5 and 13, but I understand the pressure and depression.. You need early help and you deserve it... I have OCD I check so much... But we move on... Please take the time to find your help.....HV mine was good, but because of my previous depression she left me...
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annmarie
New Member
mum to a little boy 20 months and a little girl 5 1/2 months
Posts: 14
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Post by annmarie on Apr 29, 2008 21:28:03 GMT
Had a really good day today, went to meet 4 other mums at a soft play area, they were all really nice, I am so glad I didn't cancel like I thought I would have done, I was so nervous before I went, couldn't stop shaking, but I did it! I am so proud of myself. We are going to be meeting up the same time every week so it looks like I could have made some friends in this area. I was a bit paranoid afterwards but I got over it quick enough, I need to stop thinking that people dislike me before I have even given them the chance to get to know me. I enjoyed myself, I need to stay positive. Meeting another girl tomorrow, look at me, mrs sociable! then I am off to another soft play area with my brother in laws girlfriend. I feel like I am getting somewhere... at last... I know I am gonna have a low point again at some point but for the moment I am going to try and stay positive and enjoy these new friendships that I am making. Last night was odd though felt really ill, nauseous and dizzy, I know it was because I was nervous about meeting the girls today but just couldnt get over it, feel a bit sick tonight but not as bad. I know this is all part of the process of my recovery so I am just going to have to get over it. My OCD seems like it is getting better and then all of a sudden when I open a door or turn off a light I have to touch it so many times squeeze my fists tight to feel safe and make my babies safe. I know i'm improving with it, because I have stopped doing certain other things, I just want to be able to tell myself that the children are going to be fine if I don't touch this like that and mean it.
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Post by winegirl on Apr 30, 2008 7:54:46 GMT
Hi Anne Marie
I am so please things are picking up for you! You did really well to get out and about like that - when i was in the depths of PNI I would have definately cancelled! But by pushing yourself like this you really will help beat it quicker!
I would also feel quite ill and sick before going out, but would normally feel not bad when I got there! I would be nauseas and dizzy right up to the point of getting there but then half an hour in would probably be ok.
I hope you have a nice time today with your freind hun, keep going you are doing brilliantly xx
Take Care
WG xx
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annmarie
New Member
mum to a little boy 20 months and a little girl 5 1/2 months
Posts: 14
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Post by annmarie on Apr 30, 2008 20:29:16 GMT
thanks WG your little one is v cute by the wayX Really can't wait till I can start styling my little girls hair x Today was another brilliant day, met another mum this morning and she was great, we really clicked, I can't believe how easy it actually is to make new friends, I didn't think it would be like this. I don't think I have smiled this much in ages. Sounds bad because I should really be smiling every day because of my children. I know why I am smiling though, and it's bacause I am finally doing something for myself and by myself. It was me that made the decision to go out and make new friends and it was me that forced myself to get over my paronoia and walk out my front door. Today has been a great success, if it's sunny tomorrow I think I might take the babies to the local petting zoo. x
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Post by winegirl on May 1, 2008 7:38:59 GMT
Have a lovely time hun xxx
WG x
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