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Post by winegirl on Jun 9, 2008 20:59:15 GMT
Hi Mummydonna
Yeah, my hubby waits till I am really stressed and tired too before deciding to have a really deep conversation. Then when I tell him I dont want to talk about it this second i get the old `oh its all about you isnt it..' Men.
I have you to blame for craving cheese with my wine all night! I didnt cave but I did do the olives as I figured they would be good ish for my diet!
Hope you have a lovely time with your friend tonight and you are making the most of it x
Take Care
WG xx
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Post by cokey on Jun 10, 2008 6:59:44 GMT
Hi Mummydonna
Yeah can join in too with the man rant. My husband works really long hours and I have a very casual work from home job, so basically I am expected to do EVERYTHING. He does nothing at all, even when we go away. Like TM, if I have to go out, I have to arrange it way in advance, even going to see my therapist. All-in-all that got me down and unlike your husband, mine won't talk about anything and certainly not about how I feel.
Men don't help this process.
Don't be hard on yourself MD about having a blip, after what ha happened to your sis, your anxiety levels would be up anyway even without PNI.
Hope you are okay today xxxx
Cokey
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Post by mummydonna on Jun 10, 2008 18:43:28 GMT
i started a man rant!!! well done with the diet WG sorry to be a cheese temptress! Howz the running - i really want to start - but it's 1 having the energy and 2 i feel bit self conscious running outside. Excuses i know! Got through today but it's been hard with a hangover and i started my period this morning so feel pretty tearful and sore. Had fab evening tho' really made the most of it...needed to let my hair down. Didn't indend to get so drunk, but on my way home from going out with my best friend i bumped into a couple of friends who (forced me a gun point!) got me drunk...but it was really funny, and i needed to have a laugh. Obviously, suffering for it today but i can't complain as it's my own fault. problem with having a drink though ,it doesn't help pni much. I didn't think i was due my period but having started it - it does explain why i've been feeling periody and pni - like this week. Of course, my sisters problems go a long way to explaining my recent depression/anxiety also. She phoned today to let me know the funeral arrangments...it disturbed me a bit when she wanted to show me photos of the baby - i politely declined couldn't think of anything worse to burn into my memory and resurface as anxiety. On a positive note - she sounded sober so that's good. I shall end on a man rant...(bless him)...this morning he shouted at me at 7am to get up with the baby even tho it was his turn and i was clearly still wasted! I had none of it and stayed (quite rightfully) in bed until 10am - ha! Toad! he did apologise, but i'm getting a bit sick of him apologising then being an arse again...as if sorry makes eveerything all better and he can do it whenever he likes! RAAAA! Aw..he just phoned me from work..i told him i was thinking bout him, and he asked what about...i told him i was thinking i love him and that he has been up early with baby and has to work til late...he said...so you weren't thinking I'm a twit!...i said well, yeah i was actually but thought it would be nicer to say i loved him!!!! <hugs> to all MD
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Post by winegirl on Jun 10, 2008 20:17:10 GMT
Hi MD! Awww, he can be a sweetie really! LOL x Reminds me of my hen night. My Hubby took ill the day before so I had to settle LO to bed at 19.30 and head off out with the girls while hubby layed dying in bed (he claims he couldnt get out, but I wasnt concerned as LO sleeps for 12 hours and never wakes up). So i rolled in legless at about 3 in the morning and then was woken up by LO shouting `Mummy! Daddy! at 6am. I turned to Hubby who just said he was to ill to get out of bed so I attempted to spend the whole day looking after LO off my brain on booze having had 3 hours sleep! Certainly was a challenge... You are right about the booze and PNI I think though. I often feel worse with the anxiety etc.. when the alcohol is weaning out of my system after a heavy night. Doesnt stop me though! Sorry about the period babes My only advice is chocolate and more wine. Thats my answer to everything! You are doing really well and should be really proud of yourself hun. Keep battling!! Take Care WG x
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Post by mummydonna on Jun 11, 2008 19:09:37 GMT
Had an ok day...felt bit shitty and bit anxious...took some valium before i went out for the afternoon. Still periody..headache and back is killing me. But enjoyed an afternoon tea, cake and shopping outing with a fellow mum-friend. My other friend visited in the early evening and i moaned about my partner to her and she in turn had a moan about hers!
My partner not long phoned from work and said how he wants to run away from "everything" and that he doesn't know me as i'm always in mum-role and wants it back to the way we used to be before the baby. I said how often do u feel like that..he said he thinks about it all the time! I cried. obviously.
I don't really want to think about it too much as i'm on my own now until he gets back from work at 11pm and i don't want to get myself in a state. I know that as he's down he exaggerates it as we were really close a few weeks ago..think ever since i had my blip its gone shitty.
We've got a holiday for a week next wednesday so i'm hoping we can have some relaxed family time and quality us time...plus the LO will have his own room so we won't have to get up at 4.30am...which quite frankly is taking it's toll!
thanks WG for words of encouragement..you should write a book "Wine and chocolate for the soul"... this coincidentally is my weight loss diet...(the "i don't care one")
hugs to all MD
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Post by cokey on Jun 11, 2008 19:24:59 GMT
Hey MD
Try not to worry about your OH. My husband has been very depressed recently and it was triggered again recently by my PNI. Last time he got weird after I had PNI too. It has been awful at my house but at least your OH is open and honest about it and thats means he wants to sort it.
It will all be okay once your PNI settles, like it never happened.
I am sure he will be sorry for saying it when he gets in but it doesnt make you feel any better eh?
My husband was just the same.
Cokey xxx
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Post by mummydonna on Jun 11, 2008 19:32:25 GMT
thanks Cokey xxx
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Post by winegirl on Jun 11, 2008 19:45:35 GMT
Hey MD
My Husband and I often have these sorts of conversations. He can get wuite upset about the fact that I am different these days. And yet a couple of nights of him having my full attention and suddenly it is all forgotten. It is good you guys can talk about these things.
I hope your evening goes ok babes x
WG x
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Post by Scarlet on Jun 12, 2008 9:11:19 GMT
Wine and chocolate for the soul,, now I would definitely buy that one....
How are you feeling today MD, hows your hubby? I have had my fair share of hubby problems I can tell you. I think a holiday will do you good, are you off anywhere nice?
xx
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Post by mummydonna on Jun 12, 2008 17:17:46 GMT
thanks gals for support....and making me feel like it's a bit naormal and easing my fear he's not gonna bugger off. Well, today was a bit strange...he had a day off and didn't want to do anything, although he did do some housework!!! without me nagging - i should add ...lol. He had a nap in the afternoon and this evening i'm gonna cook a nice meal and have some quality "us" time when baby is asleep. I've been ok today...not suffering with any intrusive thoughts which makes a pleasant change these last few weeks although still worried about this funeral..thinking i might not go..i know it's selfish but i think it will really mess me up. Saying i've had a good day..was trying my hardest to chill out especially as OH saying i'm a nag and then nearly killed him when i found that he's eaten the whole packet of ham i bought yesterday!!! I had to apologise...lol ...bit periody still then??!! guess i'm bit worried about finances! MD
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Post by cokey on Jun 12, 2008 18:42:57 GMT
Hi MD
If you feel the funeral will set you back, in my opinion thats not being selfish. You have your immediate family, your OH and baby to consider and the sooner we all recover from this bloomin illness the better. We have to learn to avoid triggers even if that seems we are being selfish. Its hard I know but if everyone in the world suffered one day of what we go through, no-one would expect anything of us. Its just ignorance (understandable because its a hard illness to describe always) that makes people think we need to get a grip.
Do whats right for you.
I learnt last time in the end to do that. This time I have done it from the start and I am recovering quicker I think.
Cokey xxx
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Post by winegirl on Jun 12, 2008 19:54:07 GMT
LOL! If my Hubby had of done that I would have freaked too! Glad its not just me!
Hope you have a lovely evening together tonight! We are supposed to be having an evening together tonight too but I am on here and he is in teh shower so wont hold my breath!
Catch up tomorrow x
WG x
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Post by mummydonna on Jun 13, 2008 19:09:11 GMT
evening was ok we just chilled in front of tv. Today was a good day...went out with a friend..my OH still quite grumpy and moody and every optimistic word i utter is shot down in a fire of unrelenting pesimisum. oh well...have made arrangements to attend funeral on my own as don't think my LO should attend and my OH is the only one who can look after him on Monday..but i'm still keeping the option to bail open!
Hope ur evening went well WG?
It's an interesting idea, Cokey, if anyone went through a DAY of what we go through sometimes, how different would they treat us?? I shall keep that in mind.
love and hugs MD
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Post by winegirl on Jun 13, 2008 20:56:51 GMT
Hi MD
Oh my god, your PH sounds just like mine when you said:
every optimistic word i utter is shot down in a fire of unrelenting pesimisum.
Thats my Hubby too! It drives me nuts and after a while it really can drag you down. I have started to tell him now when he is being all negative just so he starts to realise how often he does it!
Will be thinking of you on Monday hun, I hope you have a fab weekend in the meantime xx
WG x
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Post by mummydonna on Jun 15, 2008 18:04:28 GMT
Yesterday was a good day...went shopping with my sis in the afternoon and out with the gals from the "mother and baby" group in the eve without the babies for the first time. naughty me hadn't eaten and got a bit pissed, but not too hungover today.
Not been a great day tho', had a lazy sunday with LO and OH (has just started his holiday) and got a bit wound up in the afternoon...better now glad to say. The LO got a battery that was laying on the floor...i moan at the OH about leaving them around. It scared the shit out of me when i saw baby chewing on it. Then it went a bit downhill as i was having thoughts that somthing bad would happen to the baby (worried about funeral tomo). felt panicy and had a cry...but OH suggested i distract myself so i had a go on the Nintendo Wii...a very good distraction!
Feel shit though and dredding tomo...looking forward to the afternoon when it will be over and we can start the holiday properly.
MD
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