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Post by winegirl on Aug 28, 2008 19:17:03 GMT
Hi Bean
Sorry you have been back in the hospital hun. The Doc makes a very good point about having to do this for yourself. It is really hard, but if you can do this then you will feel so amazing for having fought it!
Hope you have a nice evening tonight hun and get yourself well fed before seeing your mum again! I am on and off all night x
WG xx
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Post by bean on Aug 29, 2008 13:07:43 GMT
I feel really really bad, side killing me,had stitches out from last week but still needed steri stripping and covering. Had to take dan to get school shoes and cake for dads birthday party and starting having panic in middle of asda. Rang roy for support but he couldnt hear me, when I got home he not looking too pleased, but not changed martha or done pots or moved. Ifeel right on the edge ive just come off phone with cpn, mum and dad and nephews coming round soon to see us and pick up their budgie. I WANT TO SCREAM AND TEAR MY HAIR OUT, BANG MY HEAD ON THE WALL, rake my arms and legs with razor blades, punch something (usually wall). im losing the plot i know i am. I have to go im hoping so much that someone is around later cause roy at work from 3pm til 3pm tomorrow, the way im feeling at mo not good to be alone with thoughts, they too traumatidc.
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Post by bean on Aug 29, 2008 13:09:33 GMT
R did say before he went to bed an hour ago that he is ready to leave home and i know it is all my fault.
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Post by winegirl on Aug 29, 2008 21:14:21 GMT
Bean
How you doing tonight babes?? Have you seen our new self harm diary section? What do you think to it??
Just wondering how you are...
WG x
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Post by bean on Aug 29, 2008 21:17:18 GMT
Very sore tonight feeling lonely and unloved. S/H section is great idea, just a coward hiding behind my diary.
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Post by winegirl on Aug 29, 2008 21:20:28 GMT
You are not being a coward at all! We have just put it there so that no one who is a bit fragile about self harm can just stumble across it and upset themselves by reading about it. I thought it was also a good idea so that anyone with any particular history or knowledge of self harm could go straight to it to offer their support too...
Where is your OH tonight? Are you home alone??
WG xx
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Post by bam02 on Aug 31, 2008 20:59:43 GMT
Hi Bean
Yes I think You and Shell can help one another!
Its so hard alone sometimes!!!
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Post by bam02 on Aug 31, 2008 21:11:34 GMT
Whats today like?
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Post by bean on Sept 1, 2008 19:43:42 GMT
Sorry didnt mean to sound unfeeling, and i understand about me and Shell, we do understand each other I think. I feel pretty low and dont feel like talking much tonight feeling fragile after last night, basically got all five boxes of 28 tablets, all sleeping tablets and razor blades and said goodbye to my kids, left to go i dont know where and took book to write some letters. As you probably gather i didnt go through with it cause i thought about them and thought surely i cant be total evil bitch cause I KNOW they love me and i love them no matter what else i am (advantage taking, piss taking piece of shit apparently) Im not a shit mother but he got me believing everythig else he said. Ill write tomorrow what happened but need to try to shut off tonight cause didnt sleep last night and its first day back at school tomorrow and i have my meeting at 3.30pm.
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Post by bam02 on Sept 1, 2008 19:48:39 GMT
My kids back tomorrow...
Like to get back into that routine. But means getting up early a lot!!!
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Post by winegirl on Sept 1, 2008 21:41:01 GMT
Hi bean
Sorry you had such an awful time last night x If you come back on tonight and wanna chat in teh chatroom just gove us a yell, if not will be here for you tomorrow.
Take Care
WG xx
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