Still Having Death Thoughts :(

[gemmag1987]

Hi all im still having the fear that im going to die its awful my doctor put me on amitriptyline last week and not feeling much different anyone else have these thoughts or am i alone xxxx

[Hopeful just logged off]

Hi Gemma,

I had those thoughts too and I did found it really distressing - my heart and support goes out to you.

I was even planning guradians for my children and talked alot about my own funeral.

I promise it will improve - I didn't think it would, but it does.

Here for you

Hopefulx

[gemmag1987]

I dnt do anything like that but im petrified tht if i get on a plane it will crash or if i go abroad i will become really ill and have to stay in a foreign hospital on my own with no family round me its awful i cnt live my life and its annoying me now xx

[cazfletcher]

im sorry you are feeling like this gemma, i just wanted to let you know you have some support here. as you have only been on the medication a week i would maybe leave it til after the weekend and see how you feel, if you still feel like this then go back to the doctor, as you say its affecting your day to day life so you need some support from them too.

also just found this:

www.drugs.com/amitriptyline.html

How should I take amitriptyline?
Take this medication exactly as it was prescribed for you. Do not take the medication in larger amounts, or take it for longer than recommended by your doctor. Follow the directions on your prescription label.

If you need to have any type of surgery, tell the surgeon ahead of time that you are taking amitriptyline. You may need to stop using the medicine for a short time.

Do not stop using amitriptyline without first talking to your doctor. You may need to use less and less before you stop the medication completely. Stopping this medication suddenly could cause you to have unpleasant side effects. It may take up to 4 weeks of using this medicine before your symptoms improve. For best results, keep using the medication as directed. Talk with your doctor if your symptoms do not improve after 4 weeks of treatment. Store amitriptyline at room temperature away from moisture and heat.

[cheshire]

Hi Gemma,

I know what you mean - in fact, I am going a plane this summer for the first time in 4 years (since I had my second)! I think I'm ok with it - but I was really worried about it before now - like you say, worried something bad would happen - I think it's called catastrophising. It does pass, but it's difficult to cope with.

Come back and talk any time xx

[gemmag1987]

i no i just wnt it to go away tho its awful and hard to deal with xx

[littlelotty]

Hi Gemma

I am so sorry you are still having the thoughts. It is really hard having them. I do think I used to worry alot about those things before PNI so it is hard for me to think is it the PNI or is it just me.

I know it is really hard though, try and give the meds a bit of time and if you dont feel any better go back to the doctors.

I know it isnt long until you get married - do you think the stress of this is putting more pressure on you??

We are here for you hun

LittleLotty
xx

[gemmag1987]

No im excited bout getting married and every thing is done for the wedding so i know its not that ... its like when i get headache i think ive got a brain tumor just things like tht its awful ive had this for 2 and a half years now xx

[cheshire]

Hi

Quite a few here have mentioned about headaches feeling like a brain tumour - I had that too and was really worried I was going to have a stroke or osmething like that . But it did pass - although it was one of the first symptoms I had. I read somehwere later that head and neck/ back ache - are related to extreme tension/ aniety.

I know this probably won't help - but just wanted to assure you that this can be a symptom of PNI. I did get mine checked out just for peace of mind, but it seemed it was that.

When's the wedding?

Hx

[gemmag1987]

16th August Cant Wait!!

[Hopeful logged off]

ooo - will defo. be raising a glass to you then - it's my birthday!!!

[littlelotty]

How are you today Gemma??

Just wanted to say I am like that with every illness - think the worse all the time. I hope it passes.

Let us know how you are doing

LittleLotty
xx

[cheshire]

How you doing today Gemma? x

[sixfootblonde]

I had this too, and in fact it has started to come back since having my baby a couple of weeks ago.

Have you had any counselling? I saw a great psychotherapist - who I am going back to see soon. I did not do meds though so cannot help there. The dying thing is so very bleak. I could not see a future beyond a few months at my worst and was convinced I was dying. For the last year I have not been so bad but it is always there in the background, niggling whenever I got ill, that it might be serious.

I have been having headaches since the baby has been born - stabbing in one place. Yesterday my tinnitus suddenly got much worse in my right ear. I saw two Dr's and both were not concerned about the headaches and there was no pressure behind my eyes. I did actually feel a little better after seeing second Dr but now my hearing is weird it is concerning me a bit.

When my last child was 18 months old I had to go to Germany. I was mostly feeling better mentally. But got really worked up that the plane was going to crash. The air hostesses took me to see the pilots as I was in tears. The pilot was SO SEXY!!!!!!!!! I was so embarrassed! We did get there safely. Once there I thought I would have a car accident. Didn't - thankfully. Then felt better when flying home. I can totally relate to what you are saying though. I feel like PNI has left me a hypochondriac amongst other things - but I guess that is because I never did get 100% cured.

Hope the meds bring you some peace.