How much do your kids see thier grandparents?

[nicola1712]

We are very fortunate to have both sets of grandparents living close to us which I shouldn't complain about really but have come across a problem.

My mum and MIL are both retired and so unless I am seeing friends my mum often comes over for the afternoon to see me and LO. My inlaws often walk our dog in the afternoons so they get to see LO when they stop for a cuppa afterwards.

Since my mum retired DH has commented on how much my mum is here and how little I do around the house when she is here cos I am just sit and chat with her (!) He says that the balance is unfair and LO sees her more than his parents.

I am trying desperately to find a job at the moment and if I ever get one then LO would be with them equally as our childcare option.

In the meantime however I think I need to set up a day a week each for them to have her, and just her. If I go to my mum's I don't count that as her having LO cos I am there, yet DH does. It would be good for LO for when I do start working cos she will be used to going to them. But just hard for me cos I think if I am not working then she should be with me all the time.

It would however give me a couple of days a week to job hunt and do some housework.

It is all very complicated but I just wondered if your kids all see both sides equally or more one than the other?

When I was a kid we rarely saw my dad's parents so I guess I thought it was normal for my LO not see my in laws as much...

xxx

[winegirl]

Hi Nicola

Makes sense to me...

My Husbands father is dead and his mother hates me so she has never met our daughter...

My parents are fab and are the only people I have EVER let look after my LO. They have her occasionaly in the kids holidays on a thursday as my OH normally has her but in the school holidays travels on his day off to see his kids so my mum has LO then.

I would like to set more time up for them to have her, but a) they live 30 miles away. b) when i am not at work I wont her all to myself!

I think a day a week is a great idea, and your LO will love it too...

WG x

[monica]

Hi

My kids see my family in the school hols as they live quite far away, however, my mil and family are in Northern Ireland so it's rare (once a year). I think it's a fab idea to let your parents see you lo on their own so she can get used to being with them. Everyone is different but don't feel guilty about it! Enjoy the time to yourself and as you said it's hard to fill in applictions with a lo about.

Re: oh, it isn't a competition about whose parents see lo the most! Both sets sound fab to me and TBH if both our families lived round the corner I would gravitate more to mine as I am naturally closer to my family.

Good luck.

Monica

[nicola1712]

Thank you! I have managed to talk to my mum about her having LO without me being there without it sounding like I don't want to see her as well (!) I think my mum is secretly pleased she get s LO to herself really anyway so god knows what I was worrying about!

We are starting it all next week but LO only going to in laws for half a day cos they have other commitments that week. Trouble is LO is going to my mum on Wednesday and then again on Friday for her monthly 'stay over' so I will feel like I haven't seen her all week! Won't be like that every week though I know.

xx

[sianyc]

G's dad died without ever having met the grandchildren - he was an alcoholic and no-one wanted him around the kids if he'd been drinking. His eldest sister told him he could visit if he hadn't had a drink for a week but he never managed it.

G is from Glasgow so we try to see his family about 3 times a year and his mum is mostly fab and will have our eldest to stay over when we visit (we always stay with his older sister).

If we all lived closer, my two would probably see G's family more as his sisters are sahm's and his mum is retired. I'm obviously a lot closer to my mum though and if I had the choice, I'd visit there more. That's normal though isn't it even if you really like your in-laws?

My kids choose my stepdad over my Dad which can be a bit embarrassing - then again if he made more of an effort it wouldn't be like that

[nicola1712]

My LO would choose my step dad over my dad if they were in the same room at the same time, even though we all get on fine. It is just that she sees my step dad a lot more than my dad so would struggle to remember who he was.

Keep being told that it is natural to see your own parents more than your in laws if they are around/near too, so yes you are right sianyc.

xx

[caterina]

My husband is from the isles so my mum used to see LO's every week where his mum only saw them every 6 weeks or so. We recently moved though and are currently staying with his mum til our house is ready and my mum hasn't seen the LO's in 6 weeks! It's all dependant on your personal circumstances I guess xx