Terrible 3's!!

[stevensmummy]

My eldest son, is 3 1/2 and causing me a nightmare. I spend my day screaming at him and am looking for any advice as to how to help. Anything is welcome as I'm gettin desperate!

Background: Has a younger bro, 18m, hes a bit of a handful, into everything. Constant tantrums and attention seeking. I'm preg, about half way and have epilepsy, which has now been controlled for over a year, ie seizure free so he hasnt seen anyting like that in a long time.

My main issues with him are his attitude and temper. He has an attitude like a teenager. I can ask him something and he screams back, no, get away etc. I think at times he plays up for attention. His bro is a handful and gets attention as a resuly of being bad so I do wonder if he sees this as a way of getting attention too. The youngest goes to bed b4 him so he gets time with us, also during the other ones nap time. He is looking forward to the baby, he doesnt want another stuart (his bro)! We spend time rubbing my tummy and talking to the baby, he talks to it and rubs in cream asking if he can feel it etc. As the two of us we spend time cuddling, although I say more just now than perviously, he seems to always want to bosie as he calls it. he is also at Playgroup 4x weekly and has anpther group on the 5th morning.

We have a reward chart, which i just started yest afternoon. i'm making it easy to get stars so he sees his progress quickly and gets the rewards. I have also just started removing toys from him when he misbehaves. This worked previously, but this time its much worse. I'm starting with the smaller ones hotwheels and monster trucks etc and will move on to the larger if need be.

Any other advice?
What am I doing wrong or could i change something?
Is it attention?

Am going to talk to HV today as clinic is on in same place as toddlers which I take younger one to today.

Sarah x

[winegirl]

Hi Sarah

Sounds to me like everything you have started doing is absolutely right, will prob take a couple of weeks to take full effect...

My LO is in terrible 2's and she gets tantrums aggresion shouting at me etc.. Was hoping it would be better when she was 3... guess not! LOL x

[cazfletcher]

cavans the same, but hes always worse when hes had any sugar. hes very physically aggresive but its nearly always coz some idiot (mainly nanny on his daddys side) or other has given him sugary stuff! hang in there, it will click with him eventually, and when the baby comes you can really make the use of a big brother

[Sarah not logged in]

Cheers guys. I'm not alone then! Its nice to hear it.

I really dont know what else to do, hes a nightmare. I should maybe try cutting his sugar. he doest get additives etc as I notice the diff with them.

Thanks again, the support is much appreciated

Sarah x

[sianyc]

This is a bit late but anyway, C is 5 now and still has tantrums - grrrr

I have the naughty step and when she's had to go on there, she also loses a sticker. Getting stickers is fairly easy - it has to be or we'd be in minus stickers some days! She gets them for sitting nicely to eat her meals, putting her dirty pj's and clothes in the washing basket, tidying her toys, sharing with her sister. There are bonus stickers for having been well behaved when we're out, helping in Tesco etc. The youngest (3) gets them for simpler things as well like using her cutlery, brushing her teeth rather than eating the toothpaste and so on. It takes them a whole week normally to reach 10 for a treat. Sometimes they're big treats like the cinema and other times, it's hairclips in asda

We have been known to lose 3 just on the way home from school (10 minutes slow walk)

Obviously sometimes I just lose it, especially when she shouts at me or is rude to me and I end up putting her on her step while shouting like a loony