So fed up of this

[tabbysmum]

Hi ladies

I'm trying so hard to carry on as normal and ignore the thoughts but at the minute it's getting me down. I've spent weeks not talking to anyone about it, not asking for reassurance, not reading anything, not getting involved in the forum because I'm trying to distance myself from all these feelings but it's just not working. The thoughts go round and round constantly, sometimes I can handle them, sometimes I can't, the harm thoughts towards my daughter are as expected still the things I'm struggling with but the health worries are a very close second. Over the past couple of weeks I've been unbelievably forgetful, getting confused with names and having memory blanks etc. I'm trying to put this down to stress, anxiety and being stupidly tired but I'm convinced I've got Alzeimers, which then makes my anxiety worse and then makes the thoughts worse - it's just goes on and on. Don't know whether to go back to the doctors to be referred back for counselling but then I don't feel I want to keep dredging things up, just feel very down at the minute and at my wits end, still convinced it's psychosis and started to feel very tearful and depressed about things. Sorry to ramble on, have been bottling this up for weeks and need to get it off my chest.

With love

TM x

[monica]

hi

so sorry you r having hard time - has anything triggered this blip? Perhaps something has happened even something minor and this has set off this chain reaction so to speak.

Sounds as if it might be worth taking to your dr - something a bit of reassurance can help hugely and put your worries into perspective. Also the anxiety of havin gthese worries can bring on memory loss and the other symptoms you are describing. Given your age it's highly unlikely to be alzeihmers. re: psychosis, if you were you would not worrying about it and probably not realise you were psychotic, but I do know how hard it is to rationalise with health anxiety as that's my 'thing' too.

I found relaxation techniques quite good, as well as saying 'no' aloud when feeling a thought coming on to try and stop it. Also exercise helped hugely too.As well as buring off a bit of nervous energy the endorphins made me feel better..

How ar eyou this evening?

Monica

[cheshire]

Hi TM,

Just on my way to work...this is for you x



Hopefulxx

[winegirl]

Hey TM

Not sure if its what you want to hear but... yes go back to your GP. I understand you wouldnt want it all dragging up again, but then it is there now and upsetting you so lets deal with it...

Most of us have some major blips that we need help with in recovery - it doesnt mean you are going backwards though i promise.

I am glad you have come back to talk about it, and the fact that you have proves to me that you shoudl go and ask your go for help again for a bit until you feel back on top of it.

I am thinking of you. We are always here for you TM xxxx

Love

WG x

[cokey]

Hey Lydia

Oh no I can't believe I missed your post, I only look in the diary section. Are you ok? I have been thinking about you recently because we were always at the same stage with this illness. If it helps, I am still blipping. You have to look back to how we were though and whilst it feels bad still, it isn't half as bad as it was. Winegirl is right, it doesnt mean we are going backwards but you know all this.

I said to beckah, last time I had PNI it was 20 months before I knew I was better, so I still have a way to go yet and it is just time but come back and talk to us.

At the end of the day we are all in the same boat and we are slowly getting better. I think all the time about getting more counselling, go back and ask for it and then decide.

Also text me if you ever need to talk xx

Candice

[winegirl]

Yeah good point Cokey, havent heard from you since your post hun, just wondering if you are ok???

WG xx

[tabbysmum]

Hi both

Thanks so much for replying. I'm doing ok thanks. One of my blips which I'm reasonably good at handling now but sometimes just gets the better of me. I've calmed down again now and am back on a more even keel. I'm going to update my diary within the next few days - I have to plan these things at the minute as I'm just so busy (but nothing compared to you WG!) I'll catch up with you both later.

Hang in there Cokey

With love

L x

[winegirl]

Love;y to hear from you mate x No stress about keeping in touch if you are busy - just glad you are ok x

Always here for you mate xx

Much Love

WG xx

[monica]

Hi

So glad you are feeling better. I had this illness for just over 2 years even though most of the time things were fine but during that period had many blips. In time even the blips won't be that bad but the occasional intense one can behard to handle. You are doing brilliantly

Monica

[tabbysmum]

Thanks both

It really does help when you know you're not alone - even more so when you know you're following a very predictable pattern.

thanks so much for being there.

Love TM x