Your views: getting enjoyment back...

[naomi]

Dear all

I'd love to hear your views on a very important topic:

What did you do to find enjoyment for yourself & baby in the midst of PNI and recovery?

I'm asking because I am helping to write some self-help recovery info for an online treatment research project for postnatal depression. Here's our chance to help lots of other mums with practical tips!

[Bookwormprincess]

Wow, that's a tough question. I don't really know what I did, or whether I proactively did anything to be honest.

I do know that I tried to spend as much time with my baby, caring for him and playing with him, as I could. And cuddling him was very important. Even when I didn't feel like it or particularly want to. This way, a bond grew even though I felt so distant from him.

Eventually, I took time for myself doing the things I used to love, like watching films and reading books. But it was a long time before I found these things enjoyable again. Sometimes my husband would arrange for my son to spend the night at my Mum's or sisters so we could have some time to ourselves and remember what it felt like to just be a couple.

I just tried to take each moment as it came and not look too far ahead, otherwise I was daunted and overwhelmed.

I do remember being surprised that I actually enjoyed feeding him when he went onto solids. I loved the look on his face when he tried the new textures and tastes.

One of the things I did right from the beginning was take lots of photos of my son. I have always loved photography and it was a way of appreciating him and also recording details that I might forget later because of the PNI keeping me at a distance.

I'll be interested to read other peoples answers to your question.
Good luck with the online project. You'll have to post the link when it is finished.

[naomi]

Thank you so much BWP these are brilliant & practical ideas - I really identify with what you said about weaning onto solids as well, that's the first time I felt I could do something fun and positive for Anya after PP.

Lots of love x

[winegirl]

Oooh I will have a think when my child is not crawling up my leg and get back to you if thats ok! Sounds like a good project!

[naomi]

Hehe - thanks so much winegirl! Hope you get a crawl-free moment

xxx N

[sjay]

I eventually got enjoyment back in all the little things like pampering myself long hot bath relaxation cd etc and with Jasmine I started baby masage it was to help with the bonding more than anything at first it was forced but it became a nice little us time together and really helped.

After my son I suffered again but not nearly as bad and one thing I used to love was walking with him just us two I loved pushing him along sounds daft but i think the excersise fresh air and just getting out helped and he often slept sometimes it breaks a cycle of over thinking getting out of the house.

oh just thought of something i did to help me when i was having panic attacks I did a latch hook rug thingy i know again that may sound rediculous but it didn't take too much concentration yet i was creating something it occupied my mind to break the anxiety/panic cycle i guess you could apply that to anything scrap booking creating photo albums anything you like doing!

not sure if thats the type of thing you are looking for some of it may be more coping stategy than enjoyment i guess not sure? maybe some help! xxxxxxx

[winegirl]

Hi sjay

You have to tell me what a latch hook rug thingy is...im soooo intrigued it is almost paining me!

WG x

[sjay]

lol it's nothing grand i think they are called latch hook rugs or something similar basically you make rugs you can get them in argos various designs tigger pooh bear me to you bears etc there is a design printed on the canvas so you can match colours up in a nut shell you just thread pieces of wool through the canvas with the hook it is simple but it just occupied my mind it gave me somethign to focus on that wasn't difficult but you could see it taking shape so i got something out of it in fact i have kept the rug i made it's put away it's not on display i suppose cos looking at it reminds me of the state i was in back then.

www.argos.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Search?storeId=10001&catalogId=1500002201&langId=-1&searchTerms=LATCH+HOOK+KITS

ohhh make sure unless you are super clever that the design is printed on the canvas some of them you have to work out where to put the colours personally i found that too hard!!! :-)

[winegirl]

ace thanks hun!!! Something for me to do on holiday etc (not very good at doing nothing) looks quite theraputic too! Thank you xxxx

[sjay]

no problem hope it helps you as much as it did me! :-) xxxxxx

[kittykatt]

The photographs idea is definitely a good one. I started a diary as soon as I became ill with PNI which followed each day of my baby's life and what he did on that day. I now find I can look back with fondness and not memories of PNI. I'm still doing it now. Also found cross stitch and knitting kept my mind busy although I am terrible at both! xx

[FloBob not logged in]

This isn't exactly an enjoyment thing, but just something I found helped me to stop worrying and get on with enjoying being out with my children.

I made up a lunchbox of "emergency food" - anything that wouldn't go off. So cereal bars, small packs of biscuits, juice cartons, rice cakes. And it was left fully packed in the kitchen all the time. Then whenever we wanted to go out, I'd grab the "emergency food" and wouldn't then be anxious about being in the right place (being home again or in a cafe) for the next meal time.

It really helped me to stop the anxiety and enjoy being out instead.

FloBob

[winegirl]

Flobob that is a great idea! Definately one of my panics that it will all kick off through hunger and i will have nothing for her! I am DEFINATELY pinching that idea - thank you for sharing it hun!!!

WG xxx