Am i back to square one?

[nicolad]

Hello ladies

Well, I thought the 'darkness' of PNI was behind me. I had been on Citalopram for nearly two years until a couple of months ago - and thought I had cracked it! But in the last couple of weeks my symptoms seem to be re-appearing. I'm really cross, because I'd merrily posted comments on this site about thinking I was better!!!

I have come back to this familiar ground where there is so much support - and I have to say reading some of the comments on here has already made me feel like I am not mad.

My obsessive thoughts are all about illness (some of you may remember me from my first postings in 2007).

I am starting to worry - swine flu, yes, definitely panicking me! Am the usual cancer worries every day.

So, do I have to resort to medication again? I'd really like to go down a counselling or therapy route which I never did before. I don't want to be reliant on medication, but at the same time want to stop my brain NOW! and feel cheerful and like my usual self.

Do you have any advice for finding yourself back in this situation? My youngest is 2 and a half now and I had hoped I could put all of this behind me for good.

Love to everybody on this fantastic site!

[tears]

Dear Nicolad,

Sorry your experiencing symptoms again. Its such a dissapointing feeling isnt it? If i was you i would think about how severe your current symptoms are. If you feel really unwell id go back on the meds and try the counselling/therapy route witht the aim of trying without meds again somehwere later down the line. If you feel your symptoms are manageable then maybe just try therapy.

The good thing is you know your symptoms respond to meds so the likelihood is that this will be the case this time if you choose to take meds. Try not to be too hard on yourself about taking meds. I know everyone has different views on this. Personally, i know that theres a good chance i will be on meds indefinetely due to the severity of my pni and recurrence of symptoms without meds. However im quite happy to live with this as long as im well.......the thought of being unwell is worse than the thought of taking meds forever for me. But i appreciate everyones different.

Tears
x

[monica]

Hi

I'm sorry thngs are tough at the minute. I was on citalolpram and found after an initial period of being ok I had a big blip but it did pass (incidently that was combined with really aching joints), and was ok after that. So what you could be experiencing is a reaction t ocomingn off meds which will pass.

I've also found that since pni I get SAD - not horrifically badly but when the clocks change adn the darkness sets in, it does affect me. Mayeb it's the same for you?

AFter stopping meds I started taking evening primrose oil and vit B supplements as a cpn recommended that. Also exercise gives me a huge boost so that might be worth trying.

Please try not to panic - this will probably clear on its own. Try to do nice things for yourself to give yourself a boost. I too am prone to obsessionally worrying about illnesses so I do understand your anxiety and how horrible it is - the likeliness of somethng bad happening is so remote. I know many people who have had swine flu and have fully recovered even if they've felt pants in between.

Keep posting you'll find lots of support and understand here

Love

Monica

[winegirl]

Hi Nicolad

I relate TOTALLY to how you are feeling. I have been well for about 2 years and was off the meds for about7 or 8 months and then my anxiety came back 2 months ago. I did not hesitate in going back on the meds, but was so cross about the whole thing believeing I was fully recovered and having to go back to this again.

However, I know it is not forever, and ultimately me being well is the most important thing to me, so what if I have to take pills for that to happen? If I lived with chronic pain I would take painkillers, there is no difference.

But I felt all the things you are feeling now. But I can assure you this is just part of your recovery, that treated properly will go again. You are not a failure and you will not live this way forever.

Here if you want to talk x

Take Care

WG xx

[nicolad]

Thank you all for your lovely words of support~! It is very disappointing to be back in this situation but lovely to be back in touch with some of you!!

I had a long discussion with my very supportive husband last night and we went straight to the GP today, and back on the meds. I decided I didn't want to faff around this time as that's what I did before and think I got far worse for it.

YOu are all right- this is not forever, and the GP has referred me for counselling too, so I am planning to get this under control properly!

Thanks for sharing your similar experiences - coming back here reminds me I am not alone and not going mad!!

[monica]

Hi

So glad you're feeling postive - it's a very positive step doing something about how you're feeling. You're right - this is not forever. do come back andlet us know how you are.

love

Monica

[winegirl]

Hi Nicolad

Just wondering how you are doing back on the meds?? Drop us a line if you get 5, we are here if you need us x

Much Love

WG xx