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Post by Weeble on Jun 26, 2011 11:43:58 GMT
Hi Jade
I gave in and paid for my own psychology, although I am on the waiting list for psychoanalysis locally. Don't be demoralised if the cmht can't help, I have learned that places like this site, pni support groups and people like liz are just as good.
Hope you are enjoying the weather
Kat
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jade
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Post by jade on Jun 26, 2011 21:54:02 GMT
thanks kat but i do really feel i would benfit alot from CBT. Well another crap day today i went to paddling pool in park with kids and sister in laws was nice just wish i could enjoy it rather than feeling crap on my bad times i am just so manic cant seem to stop yet i dont know where to start if that makes sense just dont know how i can keep doing this roll on the good days PLEASE! I suppose we all do just keep doing it because there is no other option if their was we would all be doing it. just cant imagine anyone else feeling like this an coping and even though my GP an everyone tell me i am i really dont feel as though im coping.
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Post by Weeble on Jun 27, 2011 7:10:11 GMT
Hi Jade
Yes you would benefit I am sure, many of us find it really really useful and the medical research shows it's effective. But don't get despondant if the mht say they can't refer you. Lots of girls here have found other solutions to get the help.
That coping thing, I want to nut someone every time they say it to me. Yes, I know I am coping but it's torture and everyday i get out of bed and get on with it. I always wanted people to say, wow I can see how hard it is for you, well done for keeping going.
What I can tell you is as you recover it's such a surprise how easy some things are, I am amazed.
Hope the heat today is not to much Kat
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jade
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Post by jade on Jun 27, 2011 21:42:30 GMT
thanks kat have not read your diary yet are you in recovery or fully recoverd. Such a bad day today took myself to gp but she told me i just come for reasurance and she cant keep giving it to me as it is un healthy an un helpfull i know this but in the morning i just cant seem to get a grip SOOO need some sort of therapy to change my thinking. I dont understand if i know the way i think is un helpfull why cant i stop thinking like it why do i need therapy to do it so hope i dont crack up again tomorrow. At least it might be a bit cooler
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jade
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Post by jade on Jun 27, 2011 21:44:58 GMT
we are functioning think its a better word than coping
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Post by juppster on Jun 28, 2011 8:02:44 GMT
Functioning is good at the moment mate...just focus on that. I really think the therapy will help you massively..it certainly seems as though your thoughts and thinking patterns are very overwhelming for you at the moment...i do know how distressing it is and i have to say that the cbt helped me massively. Hoping this morning is a better one for you mate x
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jade
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Posts: 32
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Post by jade on Jun 28, 2011 21:17:36 GMT
thank you. another shaky day today very tearfull this morning came home about 2.30 an just laid on sofa with sleeping children felt so tired and weak picked up a bit for dinner but now as i am writting this the tears are rolling down what i would give to be a man at least i wouldnt have all these hormones! I just feel like im doing such a crap job at the moment i know things like house work and that dont matter but if i felt like i was on top of them at least it would be one less worry and the kids everyone keeps saying they look happy healthy children and i see these 2 poor babies that im not looking after properly i love them so much more than anything in the world i wish i could enjoy them properly. we were all on the bed after their bath they were jumping and kissing me and i just couldnt stop crying Why is life so cruel sorry such a depressing post x
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Post by juppster on Jun 29, 2011 9:03:13 GMT
Hi honey Never apologise for writing a depressing post! This is your space to write down exactly how you're feeling. Please believe me when i say that you will get to enjoy your children again, that I am sure of. I used to feel exactly the same as you and its bloody horrible and painful BUT it does get better...i really think that once you get some cbt you will really start to feel the benefits. Try not to beat yourself up too much mate, you are ill at the moment but you will recover xx
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Post by juppster on Jul 12, 2011 7:42:53 GMT
Hey Jade, just wondering how you're doing honey? we are all here for you xx
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Post by Weeble on Jul 13, 2011 19:20:59 GMT
Oh jade I am sorry, I read your post and never replied. I am really sorry. Me I am still recovering, I have been through hell and back but I am getting there and slowly my life is returning to normal. You are not a bad mum, pni is the illness of strong good mums. Rubbish mums don't get this illness just not possible.
I feel that my pni is a silent badge of pride, but I still struggle day by day with my little ones and the guilt is very painful. Would love to hear how you are doing
Kat
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