Can i ever get of medication and return to normal?
Mar 10, 2003 11:20:10 GMT
christianah28 likes this
Post by sarah on Mar 10, 2003 11:20:10 GMT
Hi,
I don't really know where to start, all I know is that I wouldn't wish postnatal depression on my worst enemy. I bring up my partners two children as my own, they are 10 and 12 and I was delighted to get pregnant as I have always wanted a baby! My pregnancy was a nightmare, I started bleeding a 6 weeks into my pregnancy, I was given a scan and no baby was found, they tested my hormone levels and found I was pregnant, but they couldn't find the baby, I was taken into hospital as they thought I was having an eptopic pregnancy, I had to stay in hosptial for a week until ???they decided to give me a laparoscomy (sorry my spelling is bad). When I came round I found they had also given my a scrape as they thought I had a molar pregnancy, (still not a sure what that was), but basically I had had an abortion. I was distraught!! I had to have a blood test and told to go home. The next day the hospital rang and told me to go back as the blood results say I was still pregnant! They gave me a scan but still couldn't find the baby, so they told me my life was in danger as it was probably growing somewhere else in my body. It was a friday, so they said I had to be monitored and would be given a pill on Monday that would kill growing cells in my body which would stop the baby growing somewhere in my body!! I can't begin to explain how I felt! On monday, I was given another scan and this wonderful women said, 'wait a minute I have found your baby'!! It was in my womb hidden behind a huge fibroid!! The fibroid had saved my baby from the scrape!! I then bled heavily for four months (because of the fibroid) and had to keep being checked that I hadn't miscarried.
Then at six months I awoke at 1.00am in the morining and was soaking wet, my waters had broken. I was three months early!!! I was rushed into Watford Hospital, but because I was so too premature and had to be transferred to Basildon by ambulance (over an hours journey). To cut a long story a bit shorter, I had to have an emergency cesarian and gave birth to a 2lb 2oz baby boy. I had an infection that made my water break. After three weeks he was transferred to back to Watford. I had a nightmare two months with him in SCBU, I hated leaving him at night, I used to get in at 8.00am and not leave until 9.00pm, my two stepchildren must have suffered, but were wonderful and my partner went through hell as well. My baby ben went through blood transfusions and loads, but he is stronger and more of a fighter than his mum
Finally got my son home after two months (he is wonderful and perfect!!). A month after that we moved house and then everything went down hill, I was so strong till then and then I was a wreak (I am crying whilst writing this as I am reliving it). I was suddenly scared of everything, I could even touch my son and just sat in a corner crying. My poor partner was wonderful, but so confused as I am normally in control all the time! I was SO scared and didn't think I could cope at anything, I lost weight as I couldn't eat and just wanted to sleep all the time. I really dreaded my son waking up and went into a panic attack every time he cried and then felt so guilt that I couldn't go to him and I couldn't be left alone with him!!
Eventually I told the doctor and she was wonderful and made me go on medication (cipramil). All I could do was sit in the surgery crying, my partner had to explain what was going on. Then miracle, after finding the right dosage, I began to feel a bit better. I had to start make myself do little things with my son, slowly, but I evenutally got back to normal.
That was a year ago, now I am trying to get off the medication. I did try two months ago, I just stopped the pills, but within four days all those feeling came rushing back. I am now trying again by taking a pill every other day, but I am now having the feelings again. I really want to stop them as I am getting married in four months and I want another baby. One of the side effects of coming off the pills may be similar feeling to postnatal
Please can someoene tell me if it is possible to come off the tablets and not have this fear, tearful feelings. I can't bear to never be normal again!!!
Thanks
Sarah
I don't really know where to start, all I know is that I wouldn't wish postnatal depression on my worst enemy. I bring up my partners two children as my own, they are 10 and 12 and I was delighted to get pregnant as I have always wanted a baby! My pregnancy was a nightmare, I started bleeding a 6 weeks into my pregnancy, I was given a scan and no baby was found, they tested my hormone levels and found I was pregnant, but they couldn't find the baby, I was taken into hospital as they thought I was having an eptopic pregnancy, I had to stay in hosptial for a week until ???they decided to give me a laparoscomy (sorry my spelling is bad). When I came round I found they had also given my a scrape as they thought I had a molar pregnancy, (still not a sure what that was), but basically I had had an abortion. I was distraught!! I had to have a blood test and told to go home. The next day the hospital rang and told me to go back as the blood results say I was still pregnant! They gave me a scan but still couldn't find the baby, so they told me my life was in danger as it was probably growing somewhere else in my body. It was a friday, so they said I had to be monitored and would be given a pill on Monday that would kill growing cells in my body which would stop the baby growing somewhere in my body!! I can't begin to explain how I felt! On monday, I was given another scan and this wonderful women said, 'wait a minute I have found your baby'!! It was in my womb hidden behind a huge fibroid!! The fibroid had saved my baby from the scrape!! I then bled heavily for four months (because of the fibroid) and had to keep being checked that I hadn't miscarried.
Then at six months I awoke at 1.00am in the morining and was soaking wet, my waters had broken. I was three months early!!! I was rushed into Watford Hospital, but because I was so too premature and had to be transferred to Basildon by ambulance (over an hours journey). To cut a long story a bit shorter, I had to have an emergency cesarian and gave birth to a 2lb 2oz baby boy. I had an infection that made my water break. After three weeks he was transferred to back to Watford. I had a nightmare two months with him in SCBU, I hated leaving him at night, I used to get in at 8.00am and not leave until 9.00pm, my two stepchildren must have suffered, but were wonderful and my partner went through hell as well. My baby ben went through blood transfusions and loads, but he is stronger and more of a fighter than his mum
Finally got my son home after two months (he is wonderful and perfect!!). A month after that we moved house and then everything went down hill, I was so strong till then and then I was a wreak (I am crying whilst writing this as I am reliving it). I was suddenly scared of everything, I could even touch my son and just sat in a corner crying. My poor partner was wonderful, but so confused as I am normally in control all the time! I was SO scared and didn't think I could cope at anything, I lost weight as I couldn't eat and just wanted to sleep all the time. I really dreaded my son waking up and went into a panic attack every time he cried and then felt so guilt that I couldn't go to him and I couldn't be left alone with him!!
Eventually I told the doctor and she was wonderful and made me go on medication (cipramil). All I could do was sit in the surgery crying, my partner had to explain what was going on. Then miracle, after finding the right dosage, I began to feel a bit better. I had to start make myself do little things with my son, slowly, but I evenutally got back to normal.
That was a year ago, now I am trying to get off the medication. I did try two months ago, I just stopped the pills, but within four days all those feeling came rushing back. I am now trying again by taking a pill every other day, but I am now having the feelings again. I really want to stop them as I am getting married in four months and I want another baby. One of the side effects of coming off the pills may be similar feeling to postnatal
Please can someoene tell me if it is possible to come off the tablets and not have this fear, tearful feelings. I can't bear to never be normal again!!!
Thanks
Sarah
