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Post by jessibella on Sept 21, 2013 16:12:30 GMT
C8-10
Rest of holiday was great. Hardly felt down at all and even the mornings were ok. Was sad to go on Friday but OK about it and looking forward to chilling at home.
C11 First day back after holiday and I was really wobbly. Up and down all day. Went to the park and struggled being around the older children there, started worrying about Flower being older. Had a little cry this afternoon and Mr was great. Made me sit down and relax with a coffee whilst he tidied up. I'm lucky to have him. Had some OK times too but definitely an off day today.
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Post by monica on Sept 22, 2013 17:38:11 GMT
Everybody is entitled to an off day. Post holiday blues? Glad ur hols went wellx
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Post by jessibella on Sept 22, 2013 22:43:52 GMT
C12
Better day today. I commuted to just concentrating on the physical feeling of anxiety which for me is a fluttery tight feeling in my chest and throat and a churning tummy. I found that when I did this I realised that the anxiety is really just a feeling but it's the thoughts that follow that can make or break your mood. I found I was able to let go of the feelings my tuning in to them and avoided the over thinking that follows. All in all it worked well and though I felt wobbly several times it passed quickly.
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Post by Weeble on Sept 23, 2013 20:53:45 GMT
Oooooo canyon send some of that in the post I could do with a bit of that
Kat
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Post by jessibella on Sept 24, 2013 21:42:55 GMT
C13/14
Had an awful headache yesterday that wouldn't shift. Unfortunately that kinda ruined my whole day. So hard being I'll on top of pni.
Today was better. Headache went but felt a little wobbly on and off. Overall ok
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Post by monica on Sept 25, 2013 18:25:19 GMT
Poor u! Feeling physically I'll used to have impact on my mood so that's normal. I think ur controlling anxiety brilliantly. Will try to use some of ur methods x
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Post by jessibella on Sept 25, 2013 22:58:15 GMT
Thanks Guys for your encouraging messages. As always you keep me hopeful xx
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Post by Weeble on Sept 26, 2013 20:24:08 GMT
Sent from my GT-I9300 using proboards
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Post by jessibella on Sept 28, 2013 17:40:40 GMT
C15-C18
Well work has been pretty good as usual and I honestly feel my most normal there.
Have had a few wobbly times outside of work. Particularly Friday when I had a really weird incident where I could suddenly feel my heart in my chest and felt dizzy and nauseous. It was horrible as I was out at the library at the time. Afterwards I looked up my throat and fluttery feeling and it looks like I get palpitations with my anxiety.
Anyway I felt better soon after but it seems the anxiety is still coming and going.
Today was actually pretty normal. Hardly felt down at all and only had the ocassional anxious moment.
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Post by Weeble on Sept 29, 2013 9:53:18 GMT
well done. a little bit of anxiety is very normal I think. I like u find work helpful. how is your little one
Sent from my GT-I9300 using proboards
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Post by jessibella on Sept 29, 2013 10:11:14 GMT
She is good but going 100 miles an hour at the moment. She's a little whirlwind but very funny with it.
Just started reading a book called "At last a life" about anxiety and a man who struggled for 19 years and overcame it. Abbi from here recommended it. Very good read.
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Post by Weeble on Sept 29, 2013 11:24:37 GMT
Sounds good
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Post by monica on Sept 30, 2013 21:34:35 GMT
Will look out fr it! Hang on in there with te anxiety. It's pants especially when catches you at odd moments but it will pass and sounds as if ur using your techniques really effectivelyx
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Post by Weeble on Oct 7, 2013 20:22:02 GMT
how are things going?
Sent from my GT-I9300 using proboards
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Post by jessibella on Oct 12, 2013 7:39:15 GMT
C19-30
Turning a corner...
Things have been really positive these last few weeks. I read a book on anxiety which talked at lot about the idea of "acceptance" as well as living your life without fear. It wasn't especially well written and very repetitive but it really struck a chord with me. The think about depression and anxiety is they feel unacceptable and so you spend so much time trying to fight your way out and analyse your feelings that it becomes your life. The author of the book basically said the only way to recover is to stop trying so hard. He says for him he recovered from 10 years of crippling anxiety and depression by deciding to stop trying too cure it and start living with it.
So these past few weeks I have just carried on as normal and allowed all the feelings and sensations to do their worst and realised they can't actually harm me. I'm the one who gets to decide if I go out or stay in or see friends etc. I can let the anxiety hold me back or I can let it come along for the ride.
Don't get me wrong I still feel low and anxious at times but it seems far less scary now and seemsx to pass quicker. I'm also less consumed with thinking about how to recover all the time and I've actually realised I'm 99% there and that's fine with me.
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