Does PNI make you have different aims as a mummy?

[vix881]

Hi everyone I'm just thinking about this, and I feel like the PND means that some o my aims as a mummy are different from that of my friends
who don't have PND. Most notably at the moment I'm receiving pressure or what people think is "advice" lol to put my baby girl into her own room at night she is 7 months old. I know that it's safe to do so according to the guidelines but I simply don't feel ready. Yet, among quite a few mums I know it was like a contest to see who could get baby out of mummy and daddy's room fastest! My hubby is fine with her being with us and its not ruining our time together as grow ups cos she sleeps in her own crib but next to the bed so we still have time to be close just us two. For me, because Part of my PND involved not really feeling the bond totally after an incredibly traumatic caesarean where my epidural didnt work and I was eventually given a general anaesthetic so didnt see her born, if eel now that I having CBT I'm starting to bond the way most mums probably do after days/weeks it just feels like its been on hold for me and I really want her near to me when she sleeps to help facilitate this bonding. She goes to sleep pretty well and self soothes so is not dependent on me I don't believe it's of any harm to her or of course I'd stop immediately.

I guess I just wanted to get some idea whether everyone thinks its ridiculous or if its ok, the family has pretty old fashioned ideas about put them in theist own room get your life back sort of thing - but when I gave birth she became my life! Well a big chunk of it!! Will be interested to hear what others think x

[juppster]

Hi

I think it's totally up to you honey, no one else can tell you what to do with your own baby, you'll know when the time is right xx

[monica]

Hi

I agree completely with Juppster . You should do what you feel it's best - after all it's your child!

I think pni knocks your confidence hugely which doubly makes you doubt your instincts especially if quite a few people are on your case.

On the subject of sleeping, f your baby is sleeping well it means you are not disturbing her. If she isn't waking you up nor your husband and you both feel better with her in ur room go for it. My little one comes into my and his dads bed every night ! He's 5!

Monica

[vix881]

Thanks guys Monica you are so right PND has totally destroyed my confidence and self belief I used to be so confident and now I doubt myself every second. That's why I guess I just wanted a few other people's thoughts - I don't trust mine to be right anymore!!! X

[monica]

But they are right! As with anything it takes time. It sounds like you are a marvelous mum and doing a great job. Congratulate yourself on every positive (with pni we tend to focus on the negatives). If something desnt quite work out as planned put it own to experience. In time your onfidence will grow x

[vix881]

Thank you that means a lot I think with the CBT I am starting to see that I am not always wrong and all the things I think may not be entirely true! X

[Weeble]

how are things going? do exactly what you want and ignore others

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[vix881]

Hi yes things are ok at the moment thank you, I have been feeling a little more like my decisions are valid - I have written quite a lot about this for my CBT and I see now that really I have spent all my time having so little confidence that I'm taking all the crappy "advice" I get as gospel, I'm taking charge now because I know my little girl better than anyone and i have wasted 6 months not believing that!! Thanks guys for all your support its so good to find people who listen and don't judge. I am sure I will be back here for more support on this journey xx

[Weeble]

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